Keep Breathing
by Melissa7187
Summary: It starts and ends with a kiss. Beca, Chloe, and everything in between. Beca and Chloe struggle after their accident and work to rebuild their relationship as everything falls apart. Once they finally come back together, tragedy strikes when Chloe's father dies and Beca realizes that she's lost Chloe in its wake. Completed. Part two of three works. Sequel is "Breathe Again"
1. Landline

**First of all, thank you for finding this and hopefully reading_ You In The End_ before starting this. This won't make much sense if you haven't read the first story.**

**Moving on, I just want to thank all of you for your reviews and the incredible amount of favorites and views that I got for the last chapter of _You In The End_. It was pretty overwhelming to wake up to an inbox loaded with notifications and it only got better as the day went on. I even had a spaz out moment when I saw my story mentioned on Tumblr. That's my favorite source for Bechloe stuff and fanfics and it was pretty cool to see it on there. I have an account over there that's the same as my username on here and I might post story ideas or different stuff on it eventually, but for now it's just to lurk. **

**Anyway, I didn't think the last chapter was that emotional, so I'm sorry for all of the people that I made cry. Thank you to all of the people that have followed me, especially the 30 that I gained when I completed the last chapter. In the words of Fat Amy, "I love you guys more than puppies and seafood."**

**Without further ado, this begins _Keep Breathing _****and I hope it doesn't disappoint. **

* * *

**Chapter One: Landline**

In a hospital in Duluth, Georgia there was a waiting room that looked like it was hosting a gathering of misfits. Nearly every seat in the waiting area was full with young students nervously surfing the web on their cell phones and making small talk, desperately trying to make time go a little faster. In one group, led by a loud and boisterous Australian, sat the Barden Bellas. On the other side of the room was a quieter and slightly more masculine group, the Barden University Treblemakers. Between them, Aubrey and Jesse were crammed on a couch, flipping through his iPod and talking about songs that they enjoyed. Together, they were all here to support Beca Mitchell and Chloe Beale. It didn't matter that they were rival groups that competed fiercely for a few months each school year. They were bonded by a cappella and that meant ignoring your differences and cramming into a waiting room all night to find some kind of relief for their worry.

Everyone loved Chloe and it didn't matter that she was in medical school and wasn't involved with the Bellas any longer. She had left an indelible impression on her former group and they wouldn't be anywhere else right now. Beca was their leader now and in months that she had taken over the group, some of the wounds between them and Trebles had been healed in sake of her friendship with Jesse. They all respected her and what she had done to change the Bellas and cared enough to be here to support her and Jesse. It had been hours, but no one was leaving and had no plans of vacating the room until they had an update.

In a small corner of the room, the Mitchell and the Simmons families were sitting together and trying to sort out what had happened. They had talked to a police officer who described the accident to them and told Ben that his beloved Bronco was completely totaled, but even that couldn't help them make sense of this tragedy. They were just kids and both families had come very close to losing their daughters this evening. Up until now, they never thought that this would happen to them. This didn't happen to families like theirs; the kind that cared about their kids and raised them into smart and responsible young women. Families that raised talented musicians and bright young medical students, with big dreams and good heads on their shoulders. It couldn't happen to **them**, but tonight it had and it sent them all for a loop.

For Beca's family, minus her mother who was still in transit, they could breathe a little easier. Her surgery was decidedly less difficult than Chloe's and her prognosis was excellent. Besides her arm and shoulder, her other injuries were minimal. A broken rib, a few bad scratches, and a concussion didn't seem all that bad now when they considered just how bad things could have gone.

For the Simmons and Chloe's father Anthony, who was sitting apart from the group and pouring over his Blackberry, they had a little more to worry about. Not only was she going through spinal surgery, but they had discovered through a cardiac arrest that there was internal bleeding that also needed repaired. They had almost lost her back in the trauma room and a last minute injection of adrenaline was all that separated their daughter between being alive and being down in the morgue. She wasn't out of harm's way though and they wouldn't rest until they knew for certain that she was going to be alright.

Ben Mitchell had been watching Tony Beale for the hour that he had been there, taking occasional glances at him from the corner of his eye as he made small talk with Chloe's mother and step-father. The man had strolled in there like he owned the place and had a terse conversation with his ex before sitting apart from the group and checking his e-mail every five minutes. He looked awkward and alone and desperate to get out of the hospital. It had only taken an hour of sitting there with no news to send him out of the hospital and Ben followed him, wanting some kind of answer for why he would ditch his daughter when she needed him the most.

He found Tony outside of the hospital, leaning against the building and taking long drags from a cigarette as he tried to get some air. Ben approached him slowly and awkwardly held out a hand as he said "Um, I don't think we've met. I'm Beca's father, Ben Mitchell. You must be Chloe's father, Mr. Beale. It's nice to finally meet you. We just love your daughter and it's so great that she's dating Beca. They really love each other and it's nice to see Beca with such a great girl."

Tony raised an eyebrow as he shook Ben's hand and softly said "I had no idea that they were dating or that my daughter made a habit of dating women, much less falling in love with them. I'm sure your daughter is great and that they're happy, but this is the first time I've heard about it. I'm not surprised though. I haven't talked to Chloe in months, how would I know about her life?"

Ben frowned, knowing all about Chloe's relationship with her father from what Beca had told him, and said "I'm sorry, I thought that you knew. I'm probably not the person that you would want to hear this kind of thing from. She's inside right now in an operating room and I hope you stick around long enough for her to tell you about her life. Were you leaving?"

Tony looked at his feet as he snuffed his cigarette out with his shoe and said "I was thinking about it. She doesn't want me here and neither does my ex or her husband. They're Chloe's family now and I'm just the asshole that lets her down. I don't deserve to see her or be here when she wakes up. Besides, I have an important meeting back in New York that I shouldn't miss. Could you tell her mother that I'm leaving? I don't want to go back in there."

Ben rolled his eyes and turned away from the man, his anger becoming overwhelming as he pictured Chloe waking up and not seeing her father there. She would be distraught and it wasn't his place to say anything, but he couldn't help himself as he turned and grabbed Tony's shoulder to stop him from leaving. He held it tightly and said "My daughter has told me about your relationship with your daughter and I know I'm off base here, but you can't just leave. She deserves some of your time and it's going to kill her when she finds out that you left her here in the middle of a grueling surgery. She almost died tonight and if you leave without seeing her, she'll never forgive you. Can you live with yourself knowing that you walked out on your daughter when she's back there, on the edge of life and death? I know I couldn't and I hope you can't either. Please, just stay for a little while longer."

* * *

Back in the waiting room, a nurse came into the room and said "Beca Mitchell?" To her surprise, nearly everyone in the room looked over at her and she laughed softly before saying "Surely you can't all be family. Could I talk to her next of kin, please?"

Sheila stood up slowly and said "That would be me; I'm her step-mother. Her father is outside, so for right now it's just me. How is she? Is she done with her surgery?"

The nurse nodded and said "Yeah. Everything went great and she just got moved from post-op to her room. She's a little tired right now, but she's awake and feeling okay. She asked to see her dad or Aubrey, but right now let's just limit it to one visitor. Do you want to go and get him and then I'll take him back?"

Sheila nodded and left the room, hurrying outside where she found her husband talking quietly with Mr. Beale. She cleared her throat and said "Excuse me, but Beca's back in her room and she's asking for you Ben. A nurse is here to take you back."

Ben smiled and said "That's great, thanks honey. Tony, I'll see you back inside? I'd love to hear more about your company."

Tony simply nodded and said "Sure thing, Ben. I'll be inside once I finish my cigarette."

Ben grinned and wrapped his arm around Sheila's back, walking with her back into the hospital and leaving her at the waiting room as he left with the waiting nurse. They walked back in silence as Ben tried to gather his thoughts and come up with what he would have to say to his daughter. He knew that she would have questions about Chloe and he hated having to be the person to answer them, but he was her father and that was his job.

After an elevator ride and a long walk down several corridors, they reached Beca's room and the nurse left him so they would have some privacy. As he stepped into the room and glanced at his daughter, he felt his breath leave his body and he had to lean against the wall for a moment. She looked so tiny and broken lying on that bed and he just wanted to pick her up and hold her in his arms, just like he would do when she was a child and got sick. Time had changed things though and he knew that even though she probably felt terrible, if he attempted it he would probably get decked in the face. He gave himself a minute to calm down and then walked across the room, plastering a fake smile on his face as he took in his daughter's presence.

Her face was pale and had several cuts on it, along with a blackened left eye and a gauze pad covering her forehead. Her left arm was in a huge cast that went from her knuckles to her elbow and was resting in a sling that lay motionless against her stomach. Besides that though, she looked perfect and he couldn't wish for anything more. He had been lucky that the damage had been this limited and he would take this over what Chloe's family was going through any day.

He sunk onto the chair next to her bed and took her right hand in his, squeezing it firmly and smiling a little when her eyes opened up. She looked around nervously, momentarily forgetting where she was, but calmed when she saw her dad sitting there. He grinned at her and softly said "Hey, Bec. How are you feeling, kiddo? Any pain?"

Beca shook her head and said "They have me on the good stuff. Where's mom? Is she here?"

Ben shook his head and said "No, but she's on her way. She had to get a connecting flight in New York and it's going to be a little while. She's going to stay with me and Sheila though so she's close and can see you anytime that you need her. I'm just so happy that you're feeling okay and that the surgery went well. You're going to be okay and that's so great."

Beca managed a slight smile and said "Yeah, I guess so. How's Chloe doing? Aubrey couldn't tell me anything before my surgery and I'm…I'm really worried, dad. Is she still here? Jesse too?"

He smiled and said "Yep, they're both here. They're out in the waiting room talking and trying to entertain the many guests that are out there for you and Chloe. All of the Bellas and the Treblemakers showed up and I think the nurses out there are about ready to kick them all out. They can be pretty noisy and they take up a ton of room. They all showed up though and they're praying for you and thinking about you. You have some great friends, Beca."

Beca nodded as a smiled painted her lips and said "Yeah, I do. I can't believe they all showed up for us. Maybe for Chloe, but not for me. How is she dad? Please, I can handle it."

Ben looked down at his feet and said "It's not good, sweetheart. She's in surgery right now for her back and we don't know…we won't know until they get done if she'll ever walk again." He could see tears starting to fall from Beca's eyes, but knew he had to continue or he would never be able to say it. He stroked her arm gently and said "Jesse was back there with her before her operation and she vomited blood before going into a cardiac arrest. There was internal bleeding that they didn't catch and they almost lost her, but somehow she made it through and she's stable right now…but it's going to be a long road until she's back to herself. I'm so sorry, Beca."

Beca was now sobbing and reached out for her father, letting him pull her against his chest and wrap his arms around her back. She whimpered in pain and sadness and softly said "I did this to her, dad. This was my fault and I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the car and everything. Why did this have to happen? I love her…and I can't lose her. Why did this happen?"

Ben just rocked her back and forth as she wept in his arms and quietly murmured "It was an accident, Bec. This wasn't your fault and no one is angry with you. She's going to be okay and you're not going to lose her. I promise, sweetheart. Just calm down and everything will be alright."

He held her like that for at least fifteen minutes and didn't let go until her sobs dissipated and he felt her calm against his body. He looked down and smiled a little when he saw that she had fallen asleep. She must have been so exhausted from the operation and he wished that he hadn't told her about Chloe, but they were in love and love came with responsibilities.

As he slid her back onto the bed and kissed her head gently, he felt a tear of his own make its way down his cheek and wiped it away with the back of his hand. He hated to see his daughter suffering like this, but he couldn't avoid it either and softly whispered "I love you" before leaving the room and letting her get some rest.

* * *

Three hours later, a doctor finally walked into the waiting room and wearily announced "Chloe Beale?"

Nearly everyone in the waiting stood, all anxious for some kind of update, and Kate Simmons found herself fighting back tears as she saw all of the kids standing up for her daughter. She smiled at them as the tears slid down her face and said "Thank you guys for waiting so long, but we're going to talk somewhere a little quieter. Once I get some kind of news, I'll tell you. Bree, come with us honey. You're practically family and Chloe would want you with us."

Aubrey let go of Jesse's hand and walked over to Kate, giving her a tight hug before walking with her and Chloe's fathers back to a deserted hallway where the doctor was waiting for them. The doctor gave them a warm smile and said "I'm Dr. Jacobs, Chloe's surgeon. I know it took a long time and I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but it was a complicated procedure and we wanted to be very thorough. Thankfully, I have some good news for you guys. When we got into her back and looked at the spine, we found that it was in good shape. We were able to repair the vertebrae and she should be just fine. There was some nerve damage that's going to limit her feeling and mobility for now, but that can heal with time. She's going to need a lot of rehab until her feeling is completely restored and she'll be in a wheelchair for a few months, but she'll be able to walk and live a completely normal life."

At this news, Aubrey broke down into loud sobs and felt Eric's arm wrap around her and pull her close as he fought back his own tears. She looked up and saw that Kate was tearful and smiling but froze when she saw Tony. His lip was quivering as he fought back tears and he looked like he was going to either vomit or pass out. He was leaning against the wall and trying to stay calm, but his heavy breaths were loud and eventually caught the attention of his ex-wife. She looked up at him with sympathetic eyes and softly said "Hey, she's going to be alright. It's going to be okay and you have time now to make it better. You get to be a dad again and it's all going to be alright."

Tony just nodded as he blinked back his tears and said "I know, I'm just so happy. What about the internal bleeding and the cardiac arrest? Were you able to fix that?"

The doctor nodded and said "Yeah, we were able to repair it. Her pelvis was injured in the crash, which is common in auto accidents, and the injury made a small tear on the lining of her stomach. Blood from the tear filled up in her stomach and caused the vomiting and the cardiac arrest. We were able to repair both the injury and the tear and it's just going to take a lot of rest until they're better. The stomach was minor, but the pelvic injury is serious stuff and it's going to keep her off of her feet for a while. It can be painful and tough to heal from, but I have no doubts that your daughter will be fine. We almost lost her back there and it was pretty scary, but somehow she made it through and she'll recover from this as well. Besides all of that stuff, she has a broken leg that we put in a walking boot and a pretty bad concussion. She also has some bad whiplash from the accident and her neck is going to be sore and in a brace for a week or so."

Kate smiled at the doctor and said "Thank you so much, doctor. Is she awake now? When can we see her?"

The doctor nodded and said "She was awake after the surgery, but she conked out after we moved her to her regular room and she hasn't woken up yet. It's nothing to be concerned with and it's just her body compensating for all of the stress and trauma that she's been through. It may be minutes or hours until she wakes up; we can't be completely sure. Luckily for her though, she's going to have a bunch of people in there holding her hands and talking her through it. If you would like, I can take you back to her room. She's in the ICU though, so we have to limit the amount of visitors."

Aubrey took the hint and said "Go and see her, I can wait. You're her parents and you need to be with her. I'll go and tell the others the good news."

Kate kissed the top of Aubrey's head and thanked her before leaving with her husband and ex to go and see their little girl. Aubrey smiled as she watched them leave and then practically ran to the waiting room, where her fellow a-ca-people were waiting for news. She bit her lip as they all stood and she felt her tears start again as she said "She's okay! She's going to walk again and it's all going to be alright! She's going to live."

As she broke down into full-on tears, the rest of students broke out into happy laughter and chatter as the anxiety that they had been feeling dissipated and everything felt somewhat normal again. There would be no funerals or heavy hearts and they wouldn't have to say goodbye to one of their own.

Amy was ecstatic and walked over to Aubrey, pulling her in for a tight hug and lifting her off of the floor as she held her. Aubrey could feel her tears turning into laughter and held her back, feeling so happy and free for the first time in hours. Jesse approached them after a minute and said "Hey, my turn."

Amy released the girl and ran back over to her fellow Bellas, exclaiming how she was the best psychic in Tasmania and knew that she would be alright. Jesse smiled and softly said "I'm so happy for you, Aubrey. Please stop crying, it's okay now."

Aubrey simply nodded and pulled Jesse in for a hug, melting into his touch and not pulling away when his lips gently grazed against the top of her head and then her cheek. It felt warm and comforting and just what she needed right now to feel whole again.

* * *

After another hour, Beca's mother entered the waiting room and approached Jesse and Aubrey, who were leaning against each other and flipping through a magazine. She cleared her throat softly and said "Hey, Beca's awake and she's asking to see you both. She's up in room 306. I didn't tell her about Chloe yet, since I figured she would want to hear it from you. Go on up."

Jesse nodded and walked with Aubrey over to the elevator and rode it to her room. When they entered her quiet hospital room, Beca smiled at them and said "Hey, lovebirds! From what my mom told me, you guys have been cuddling all night. Congratulations on breaking your Treble rule, Aubrey. When will the wolves be attacking your vocal chords?"

Aubrey just shook her head and said "That rule was stupid and we are just fine. I actually have some very good news for you. Chloe is going to be alright. We found out about an hour ago and the surgery is over and she's going to walk again. It's over now. No more waiting or praying or being sorry. She's going to be okay and so will you and everything is going to be just fine."

Beca smiled widely and said "Thank God. When can I see her? Can we go now?"

Jesse shook his head and said "No, now isn't a good time. Her parents are still in her room and they need some time to just be with her. Besides, she's not awake yet and we don't know when she'll actually wake up so it's not like you're missing anything."

He reached out and took Beca's good hand in his, threading their fingers and looking at her with sorrow filled eyes. Aubrey could see that he desperately wanted to talk to the girl and softly said "I'm going to give you two a little time to talk about things. I think I'm going to head down to the chapel and pray a little. After a night like tonight, I need something like that to clear my head. I'll see you back downstairs, Jesse."

She smiled at the pair and grinned when she heard them start to talk when she left the room. They had a lot to stay to repair their friendship and she was willing to give them their time and space to do it. As she walked off of the elevator, she was greeted by Amy who said "Hey, where are you off too? I just made a coffee run if you need some. No offense, Blondie, but you look terrible."

Aubrey smiled and said "Thanks, Amy, but I'm heading down to the chapel to say a prayer and light a candle for them. Do you want to come with?"

Surprisingly, Amy's face turned serious and she nodded as she joined Aubrey in the quiet walk down to the small church in the hospital. When they reached the doorway, Aubrey looked up at Amy and said "I didn't know you were religious. I didn't really know how things worked in Australia."

Amy smiled and said "I went to Catholic school back home. It was important to my dad after my mum died. She was killed in a car accident when I was fifteen, so he and my brothers raised me. Tonight has been kinda hard for me and I was thinking about coming down here on my own before you said something."

Aubrey paled and said "Oh Amy, I had no idea. You've never really talked about your family or anything like that."

Amy simply shrugged and said "It's been a long time. Underneath all of these sexy layers, I'm actually pretty deep. Now come on, I don't want to talk about me anymore."

Aubrey nodded and walked into the chapel with Amy, both lighting a candle for Chloe and Beca and then kneeling at a pew to pray. Amy finished first and crossed herself before looking over at Aubrey and freezing. The girl was overcome with emotions as she prayed and broke down again as she crossed herself with shaky hands.

Amy patted her shoulder tenderly and once she calmed down, wrapped her arm around Aubrey and guided her out of the chapel. Aubrey leaned against her and Amy softly said "Do you know what you need? Whenever I feel bad and need something comforting, there's only one thing that can make me better. Donuts! Come on, Lily stole some from the coffee shop and the workers were too creeped out by her to say anything."

Aubrey just laughed and nodded, leaning against her friend and relaxing for the first time in what had seemed like an eternity.

* * *

Hours had passed at the hospital and all of the singers and family had left to get some much needed rest, leaving only Aubrey and Jesse there with Beca. They had just been given the okay to take Beca to see Chloe and while Aubrey warned her against it, Beca wouldn't take no for an answer. It had been painful to get out of bed and into the wheelchair, but she fought through it and let Jesse wordlessly push her down to her girlfriend's room.

When they reached it, he let Aubrey take over and stood in the doorway to give them some room. This was a deeply personal thing for both girls and he knew that he had no place in that room right now. As they entered and Beca saw just how battered her lover was, she broke down into heavy sobs and looked up at Aubrey in shock. She looked so frail on the bed and it made her heart ache to see how sick she looked. Her face was as pale as the sheets beneath her and her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, which only made her look younger and sicker. The huge brace on her neck didn't improve on things and combined with the sight of the huge gauze pad on her forehead, Beca felt sick. What had she done? One simple accident changed everything and she realized now just how serious things had been.

Aubrey stroked her shoulders gently and pushed her next to the bed, watching the girl take one of Chloe's hands and cry into it as she sunk onto the bed at Chloe's feet. She rubbed Beca's shoulder as she cried and softly said "It's okay, Beca. I'm scared too and I know it's a lot to take in. She's going to be okay though and this is just temporary. She's going to look a lot better as she heals."

Beca just nodded and leaned in to gently kiss Chloe's forehead. When she pulled away, she smiled and said "Look at us, Chlo. First we had matching bug tattoos and now we're going to have matching scars too. I used to love that one on your forehead and yours is always going to be cuter than mine, but we'll have something to share too. I love you so much, Chloe. Please just open your eyes so I can see them again."

Chloe didn't stir and Beca broke down into harder sobs, clutching one of Aubrey's hands as she watched her girlfriend sleep in front of her. She felt helpless and in pain and she just wanted to hear her voice again. That would make everything better and she would sit here all night until she woke up.

Aubrey was in tears and softly said "Keep talking to her, Bec. Maybe you're the key to waking her up. I tried and her parents did too, but maybe she needs to hear from the person she loves the most. It can't hurt, right?"

Beca simply nodded and looked back down at Chloe, fighting back a whimper as she took in the damage that had been done again. With a hand in both Chloe and Aubrey's hands, she took a deep breath and softly said "Chloe, I know I'm quiet and I'm not great at saying what I feel and being open with you and I know it hurts you so much. If you knew what I felt for you though, you would never beat yourself up over it. I love every part of you, from your hair to your eyes to your hands…to everything. I love everything about you and you're the first person that ever really understood me and got me without question or pushing me away. I just want to hold you and make you better and kiss everything that hurts and let you know how sorry I am. I wish this didn't happen and I'm sorry that I was driving and got distracted by you and how beautiful you looked. I just…I love you **so **much and I'm not leaving you. They're going to have to pull me out of here before I lose sight of you. I'm never going to stop watching you and loving you and wanting you. We have matching scars and tattoos and one day we'll have matching rings and that's all I've ever wanted. Please baby, just open your eyes. I'm begging you and I hate doing that."

Both Aubrey and Beca were now sobbing at her words but instantly quieted when Chloe's soft voice said "I know Bec and I love you too. Could you tell Bree to move over a little? She's crushing my leg and making it fall asleep."

Aubrey instantly moved off of the bed and watched as Beca practically fell on top of Chloe, holding her with her good arm and kissing her cheek repeatedly as she cried. Once she pulled away, Aubrey gave Chloe another hug and kissed the top of her head, not caring that she looked a mess as she cried uncontrollably. Her voice was all that they needed and while she didn't say another word as her eyes closed from exhaustion, both girls felt incredibly at ease for the first time in hours. She was going to be okay. Their girl was going to make it and they could finally begin to heal and move on from the accident. Everything was going to be alright.


	2. The Marching Line

**A/N: Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long to update. I just got a little burnt out since chapter 1 and the last two chapters of _You In The End _were written in a short period and I needed a little break. So, hopefully the length of this makes up for the wait. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and it should be fun to write, so it should be out relatively quickly. **

**So, to answer a question from my reviews from Ty: I imagined the injury to be in the Thoracic section of her spine, but I thought about things and realized that I was writing off this type of injury and wrapping it up too easily. Sooo, last chapter was altered and instead of injuring her spine, Chloe has nerve damage in her back and her legs. My mom has this type of thing and I figured that if I'm going to write about something, I want to be informed and accurate. So, thanks for the question and I think it makes the story better.**

**Now going back to the story, all of the chapter titles I've chosen so far have come from song titles that I love. From now on, I'm going to select the part that inspired the chapter and post it before the chapter begins. I might go back and fix my first story and chapter one of this, but for right now I'm just testing it out and seeing how I like it. So without further ado, this is chapter two!**

* * *

Do you know a love like a bullet in the chest?

Ships on grey seas  
Waves keep the time like my heartbeat  
It's an overture  
It's time to join the marching line (Vanessa Carlton)

* * *

**Chapter Two: The Marching Line**

"Beca? Beca, are you paying attention to me? This isn't going to work if you don't concentrate. What are you looking at?"

Beca ignored the nagging voice in her ear as she leaned back on her good arm and peered across the room at the stunning redhead. The girl had frustration written all over her face as she leaned against a walker and tried to hold herself upright. A physical therapist was at her side and trying to encourage her, but Beca knew this face all too well. Chloe was holding back tears and Beca knew it was only a matter of time before she cracked and broke down completely. She had gotten to know this face over the past three weeks and she felt an ache grow in her stomach as she watched Chloe start to inch her way forward, wobbling and unsteady on her feet.

Chloe took three slow steps forward and then stopped, leaning heavily on the walker as pain ripped through her lower back and legs. She tried to continue, but it was too much and she broke down into tears as the physical therapist moved her wheelchair behind her body and helped her sit down. She was progressing and a week ago she couldn't even stand on her own, but she wanted more and it hurt to be so weak. She could feel Beca watching her from across the room and swiped her hands over her wet cheeks, laughing lightly as she realized how idiotic she must look and smiled up at her physical therapist as she bit back more tears.

He sighed and said "Chloe, you're doing great. You have to get your strength back first and it takes time. You've been through so much and to actually be walking is a huge accomplishment. I promise you that if you keep up your exercising and rehab, you'll be walking in no time. Please don't cry, you're making me look bad."

Chloe softly laughed and said "I'm sorry, Mike. It just hurts and I want to be where I was, not where I am now. It's just really hurts to remember dancing and running when you're relearning how to walk. I'm okay though. So, what's next?"

Mike smiled and said "There's my girl! So, you can do some pool therapy if you feel up to it or we can just get your muscles rubbed out and try to help with the spasms you're having. What'll it be: a massage or some swimming?"

Chloe thought for a moment and said "That's an easy question. Let's go to the pool and keep this up. I'm already in pain, what difference is a little more going to make?"

Mike just grinned back at her and Beca watched from across the room as they met up with a female therapist who took Chloe back to get changed into her suit. Beca longed to join them and help get her girlfriend dressed, but was facing more pressing matters as a hand was being waved in front of her face and her own therapist said "Beca! What are you looking at?!"

Beca laid back down on the table and said "Sorry, Jake. It's just my girlfriend was over there and-"

Before she could continue, Jake said "You can't keep your eyes off of her. I don't blame you, but you do this every day and you would think that you would get used to looking at her. Now, are you ready to focus on your own therapy or do we need to call it quits for the day? If you don't take this more seriously, your shoulder could freeze up and it's going to be really painful for you to do that DJing stuff that you do. Do you want that to happen?"

Beca just rolled her eyes and said "No, I'm not stupid. She's just…she's really distracting but now she's going to the pool and you have my full attention. Now, back to this stupid rehab. I don't know why I have to do this now when I'm not getting rid of this sling for three more weeks."

As Jake started to rotate her shoulder in small circles and heard her whimper in pain, he said "Because you're in pain and it's only going to be worse when you're arm isn't supported constantly. We want to have you ready to use it fully by the time the sling comes off. This isn't even the hard rehab yet. Talk to me in two weeks about rehab being stupid and maybe I'll agree with you. This is the easy stuff, so just try to relax and let me work out your shoulder a little bit. Once we get the muscles moving, this will be a cake walk."

Beca nodded and relaxed back against the table, assisting him in the easy exercises and calming when the pain dissipated. After about ten minutes of the exercise, he helped her change positions for a new exercise and said "So, are you excited for the big day tomorrow? It's right in time for Thanksgiving too, which must be pretty exciting for you."

Beca smiled and said "Yeah, I've been dreaming about this day. I never thought she'd be stuck up here for three weeks, but now she gets to come home and things will be better. I'm pretty happy that she's going to be home for Thanksgiving too so I don't have to spend it over at my dad's house. My friends and I are going to have an "Orphan's Thanksgiving" over at Chloe's apartment. My smart friends that are staying at campus instead of going home are going to meet up and celebrate together. It'll probably end up being a booze fest instead of a real holiday party, but I'm pretty psyched for it."

Jake grinned as he started to raise and lower Beca's arm over her head and said "I remember those days from my college years. After what you've been through though, I'm pretty sure that I don't have to remind you to be careful with the alcohol. It'll be nice though for you to take a break from all of this and be with the people you love. It'll be good for Chloe too and I'm sure she's looking forward to it after calling this place home for so long."

Beca nodded as she tried to ignore the slight pain coming from her shoulder at the change in motion and said "Yeah, she's really looking forward to it. Jake, do you think you could be honest with me if I ask you about Chloe? Everyone is being really optimistic and I know she'll walk again, but what kind of time frame are we looking at? Don't give me the answer that you give her when she's upset so she calms down. I **need **to know, because it's killing me to watch her like this."

Jake looked down at Beca as she stared up at him with pleading eyes and softly said "This can take months. Nerve pain is some of the worst pain that you can have and while it'll get better over time, she'll have it for the rest of her life to some degree. The problem is mainly from the nerve damage, but also from the pelvic injury. That's super painful and it probably added a month onto her recovery time. Conservatively, she could be walking on her own within a month with the walker. It can take several more months until she's strong enough to walk without it and even then, it'll be hard some days and she'll definitely be feeling it. Along with that great news, the nerve damage in her right leg is a little worse than the damage in her left leg and her back, so while she'll be able to walk she'll most likely have a permanent limp for the rest of her life. It won't be so serious that she'll need a cane or a walker, but it'll be there. She knows all of this and it's hard for her, so don't get too mad at her for not telling you. It's a lot to face when you're only 22 and so far, she's doing really great and exceeding the expectations that we have for her therapy."

Beca looked away from Jake as her guilt became overwhelming and tears filled her eyes. No one had said anything about it taking as long as he made it out to be and a limp was definitely not mentioned. She thought that once they found out that she wasn't paralyzed, everything would be okay. The last three weeks had proven that wrong though and now she was looking at a lifetime of seeing her girlfriend in pain. After a few moments she looked back up at Jake and said "What about when we get home? Is there anything that we can't do and how long do we have to wait? Chloe is…she's been waiting to do some stuff and I don't think I can stop her. She's pretty persuasive, if you haven't noticed yet."

Jake smiled down at her and said "I have and I assume you're talking about sex. It's okay if that's something you want to do, but you just have to be careful. No one expects you guys to just stop having a physical relationship and that can be just holding her or taking it a little further. You just need to remember that she's kind of sensitive right now and to just be conscientious."

Beca looked down at her lap with a red face full of embarrassment as he eased her into a sitting position and he softly said "Hey, stop beating yourself up over this and don't be so embarrassed, I get this stuff all the time. Don't worry too much either, because it's not like you can reinjure her back. I know that's why you asked and you're not going to paralyze her by holding her or doing anything else. Just take it easy and you'll be fine. Now, you're done for today, but I want to see you back in here on Monday with your girlfriend and ready to get back to work. I'll see you then."

She smiled at him in thanks for the workout and slid off of the table, heading to the pool to check on Chloe. She was still anxious and upset over everything, but at least she would be taking Chloe home in the morning and things could start going back to normal. No more long nights up at the hospital, no more sleeping alone in bed, and no more being away from the eyes and smile that haunted her dreams.

* * *

As Beca sunk onto a chair at the edge of the pool, she allowed herself to calm when she saw that Chloe looked much more comfortable in the water. It was much easier on her body and she seemed to be in a lot less pain, which was all that really mattered to Beca. It was nice seeing Chloe move her legs and exercise without a lot of assistance from the water therapist, but all Beca cared about was her comfort and until she could do this without any pain, Beca would continue to beat herself up.

Besides seeing Chloe doing well at the exercise, the other big perk of the pool therapy was the bathing suit that Chloe wore during it. It wasn't a bikini or anything skimpy like she wore during their summer in Maine, but it did allow for Beca to see much of the body that she had been denied for what seemed like an eternity and for that, she was grateful. This was the best part of coming up here every day and as she leaned back against the chair and watched, she couldn't help but think about how things would be back at the apartment. Sure, Chloe was pretty sexual and would most likely want to jump her as soon as they got in the door, but Beca needed it too and wasn't sure if she could hold back if the doctor told them to wait. It had been a **long **three weeks and while she had taken care of some of her needs on her own, there was something special about Chloe's touch and she ached for it every night as she laid alone in bed.

Chloe spotted Beca watching her from the side and smiled before saying "Becs, come on in! The water feels really good and it'll probably help out with your shoulder. Plus, I'd love the company and having someone in here to splash around with and dunk. Please?"

Beca shook her head and pointed down at her cast before she said "Sorry Ariel, but I can't. Besides, I like watching you and the view from up here is much better than in the pool."

Chloe smirked and shook her head before turning back to her therapist and continuing on with her exercises. Before Beca knew it, Chloe was done with her therapy for the day and she found herself pushing her girlfriend back to her room. Chloe wasn't saying much and Beca knew that she was in pain and trying not to let on. It was like this every time and Beca hated to leave her alone like this, opting most days to sit with the girl and hold her until her pain medicine kicked in or she fell asleep.

Today was no different and once Beca helped Chloe ease into the bed, the familiar whimpers and cries filled the room as Chloe tried desperately to relax and calm her body. Beca took it a little further than she did most days and got in the bed with Chloe, pulling her into her arms and allowing her to cry into her chest as she rubbed her hands over Chloe's legs. She moved her hands slowly up and down the offending limbs, massaging them firmly to try to ease the pain away but it just took the edge off and Chloe had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. It was getting old and she was starting to get frustrated at the idea of living with this for months. Beca's hands calmed her though and she couldn't stop her heavy eyes from sliding shut as she slowly drifted off to sleep after twenty minutes of pure pain.

Beca dried the tears from her sullen face and stole a few kisses before relaxing too and closing her eyes. It wasn't exactly like how they used to fall asleep together, but it was something and the familiarity of Chloe's shallow breaths and light snores slowly lulled her to sleep.

* * *

A few hours had passed and it was now mid-afternoon as Chloe flipped through magazines and talked softly to Beca, who was trying not to fall back asleep. She could spend hours just sitting with Chloe and did most days, bucking her classes, job, and Bella rehearsals just to stay a little longer with the person she loved the best. Beca had just dozed off when Chloe roused her from her slumber as she picked up a new magazine and softly said "She looks so happy!"

Beca groaned against her shoulder and said "Who are we talking about again?"

Chloe smiled down at Beca and showed her the cover of the People magazine before saying "Jessica Biel, the one who's on the cover of this magazine that you stole from Aubrey, silly! I love her dress too. Pink is such a bold choice for a wedding."

Beca glanced down at the magazine and said "I guess she looks pretty and the dress is okay, but he looks like an idiot. Who jumps for joy on a magazine cover? He should focus on music and not modeling."

Chloe grinned and said "He's happy and happy people jump for joy. Maybe you should try it sometime, Miss Miserable."

Beca allowed herself to smile and said "Dude, they probably paid him a shitload of money for this, he **should** smile."

Chloe laughed lightly and said "So, I'm a dude now? Whatever happened to baby? That was so romantic when you said that to me the night after my surgery."

Beca bit her lip and said "I thought you were never going to wake up. In case you haven't noticed, I can be romantic sometimes. Case in point, you should have seen the texts I got from Amy when she left the hospital and went back to our dorm. Your super romantic girlfriend had scattered rose petals around the room and had candles ready for when we came back from our date. She wasn't too happy that I had plans to have sex in our room, but she told everyone and now they all call me 'Lovergirl'. The things I do for you, Chloe Beale. I even had a talk with your dad before he took off. Have you heard from him lately?"

Chloe just shrugged as the mood quickly changed and as she slid the magazine away from her, she looked down at her hands and said "Not really. He sent money so I wouldn't have to go back to work for a while and we talked once, but that was it. I remember hearing him talking to me after my surgery and he sounded so sad and upset and I actually thought he would change. I guess I never learn though. So…what did you talk about? Did you make a good impression?"

Beca smiled and softly said "You could call it that…"

* * *

_Tony Beale stood in her doorway and looked so uncomfortable that she almost laughed out loud. He was shuffling his feet back and forth and softly said "So, you're the girl that my daughter is in love with. I thought I should meet you before…"_

_His voice trailed off and Beca couldn't control her anger as she spat out "Before you leave her again, right? You're going to leave before she wakes up, aren't you? That way you don't have to feel like an asshole to her face. You can go to your stupid meeting and forget about her while she's back here with a broken heart because her own father didn't have the decency to at least talk to her. Why are you in my room? I don't want to meet you or talk to you or even look at your face. She could have died tonight, why are you doing this to her?!"_

_Tony looked back up from his feet and said "It's not so simple. I have important meetings in New York and I was barely able to get away just to fly in for this. We're launching a new line of software and this is incredibly important for the company. Being a vice president is hard and I just wish that she could understand. Besides, what could I possibly do to make this better for her? It's not like seeing her is going to make up for the years that I've been out of her life. It probably would have been better if I never even showed up here."_

_Beca nodded and said "You're probably right. Her heart is going to be broken when she finds out that you left her again and who's going to get her through it? The same people that have been getting her through it for years: her mom, Aubrey, and now me. It's going to be me holding her when she cries and can't understand why you just can't love her. It's going to be me on our wedding day, trying to make her feel better about not having her dad walk her down the aisle. It's always going to be me and I can't even stand looking at you."_

_Tony nodded and said "You intend to marry my daughter someday? It's a little fast to rush into a decision like that. Does she know?"_

_Beca shook her head and said "Probably not, but I want to be here for the long-haul. She needs someone that's not going to abandon her after years of your crap. I know what that's like and I'd never hurt her. We have a long way to go before marriage, but one day I will make her mine and promise her something that you have never given her; to never leave or hurt her or let her down. I think you should leave, Mr. Beale."_

_Tony just shook his head and started to walk out of the room before stopping in the doorway and turning back around. He looked down at his feet and softly said "You have one thing wrong, I __**do **__love my daughter. I love her enough to stay away and keep out of her life. She's better without me and she has a family that loves her and um…a girlfriend that obviously cares about her too. It was nice to meet you, Beca."_

* * *

Chloe looked up at Beca with a smile slowly growing on her face and she softly said "You want to marry me? I though you didn't believe in marriage. What changed your mind?"

Beca shook her head and said "Some strange ginger who sang her way into my heart. Of all the things I just said to you, you're going to focus on the marriage thing. That's not happening for a long time and I gave your dad a smack down, so that should get some kind of reward. Right?"

Chloe kissed Beca on the lips tenderly and said "Yeah, that's your reward for being a bad ass. I appreciate you standing up for me and it really means a lot that you care enough to do something that makes you uncomfortable. I know it couldn't have been easy to say all of that to him, especially when you were afraid and hurting. He's a jerk and he's always going to be a jerk, regardless if he loves me or not. I have you though and that's all that matters. So, what kind of wedding do you want? Since you brought it up, it's fair game now. Be prepared though, Aubrey and I have been planning a joint wedding for years and it's going to be amazing!"

Beca smiled and said "Don't you mean a-ca-amazing? If Aubrey is involved, I'm pretty sure that I won't get a say but I just want it to be small and intimate with all of our friends there to see us commit to each other. No poofy dresses or huge cakes and definitely no white. You've done things with your mouth that definitely makes white off-limits for both of us."

Chloe laughed before grinning widely and said "Deal. Just you, me, and the people we love. That's all that I want too and if it takes ten years, I'll wait until you're ready. I have no rush and I'm just happy to have you in my life. You're pretty special, Beca Mitchell."

Beca was about to respond when a nurse came into the room with Chloe's dinner tray. She placed it on the table in front of Chloe and smiled warmly at Beca before leaving the room. Chloe glanced down at the tray and grimaced before offering Beca her cherry Jell-O. Beca rolled her eyes and said "Only you would choose Jell-O over pudding. We have to change that before we can even talk about getting married again. It's definitely a deal breaker."

Chloe slid it back onto the tray and said "I'm definitely not going to miss this stuff. Why don't you head home and grab some dinner? You've stayed up here practically every night this whole time and while I appreciate it, Aubrey also makes dinner for you every night and maybe it would be nice if you actually ate with her for once. She's going to miss you once you move back to your dorm, even if she'll never admit it."

Beca shook her head and said "No thanks. I'd rather stay here with you. Besides, Jesse is probably over there again and I'd just lose my appetite if I saw them kissing. I won't miss that when I do move out."

Chloe smirked as she started to eat from her tray and Beca watched her for a minute before closing her eyes again and thinking back to the ultimatum that had taken her from being a normal college student to the roommate and project of Aubrey Posen.

* * *

_It was the night before Beca was being discharged from the hospital and while she had wanted to spend her evening visiting Chloe, she now found herself being cornered by her parents and a very intense looking Aubrey Posen. They were staring at her as she tried to think of a response to their ultimatum. When she was released, none of them thought it was a good idea for her to go back to her dorm and gave her a choice of where she could live while she healed. She could stay at her father's house or she could move into Aubrey and Chloe's apartment and sleep on the couch. She thought that it was ridiculous that none of them trusted her to take care of herself, but she was cut off before she could protest and knew that they were serious. _

_She knew that she would be hurting her father if she turned him down, but she __**really **__didn't want to move in with him and Sheila. They still had a lot of issues that they needed to work out and she didn't want to live in a house where it was constantly awkward. On the other hand, it was close to school and she could easily escape on campus if it got to be too much._

_Her other option was to move in with Aubrey and that wasn't too appealing either. While she and Aubrey had started to get along and could even call each other friends, they didn't have a ton in common without Chloe being there. Add-in Aubrey's toner for Jesse and it would just be an awkward and weird mess. However, they were within minutes of the hospital and she would be able to see Chloe anytime that she wanted. _

_It would only be for a few weeks and she knew that she would just have to suck it up and pick between them. In the end, Chloe won out and Beca sighed before saying "I guess I'll move in with Aubrey. I can take care of myself though, so don't get any ideas. It's just a place to stay whenever I'm not at school or up here with Chloe. I don't need you to do anything special for me and you can really just pretend that I'm not there."_

_Aubrey rolled her eyes and said "Beca, stop trying to be a martyr. I'm not too comfortable with it either, but Chloe asked me to do it and you practically live over here half the time anyway. I'm just going to make sure that you're taking your medicine and taking care of your arm, that's it. You'll have your couch and I'll have my room and we'll barely see each other since we're both so busy. Is this okay, Mr. Mitchell?"_

_Ben nodded at the two girls and Beca could see in his eyes that he was upset, but not vocalizing it. She hated to hurt her father, regardless of their past, but knew this was the right decision. She needed to be close to Chloe and this was the only option that allowed her that. It would be awkward and strange, but her whole life was awkward so what difference would it make if she cohabitated with Aubrey? _

_Over the next three weeks, Beca found that it would make a huge difference and she dreaded going back to the apartment at night. Aubrey was overbearing and harped on Beca, making sure that she took her medication at specific times each day and got enough sleep so she could heal properly. Lights out was every evening at eleven and once when she tried to get away with working on some mixes in Chloe's room, Aubrey turned the electricity off at the circuit breaker to prove just how serious she was. Aubrey had taken to cooking dinner for Beca too and would make her a plate each night, which Beca would usually end up picking at whenever she managed to pull herself away from the hospital and back into her own world. She preferred her old diet of pizza and junk food that had been her forte back at Barden since arriving there, but Aubrey insisted that she needed to consume healthy foods before her arm fell off. Beca knew that she was overreacting, but that didn't stop her from choking down salads and stir-frys while Aubrey watched carefully. It was probably worse than living with her father and while Beca appreciated Aubrey's efforts, it was wearing thin on her._

_It wasn't all bad though and sometimes Beca found herself enjoying her living situation when she let her guard down. It was much quieter than sharing a room with Amy and she was able to get a lot more done since she wasn't being constantly pestered with tall tales and gossip, which allowed her to catch up in her classes and actually work on music of her own for the first time in weeks. Aubrey had also become someone that she could talk to and it surprised her how many nights she would stay up late with Aubrey, just talking about music and school and Chloe. She had never had a sister before and she imagined that it was kind of like this and she hated to admit it, but she enjoyed hanging out with Aubrey. It would be easier though when Chloe returned home and she knew that Aubrey was counting down the days just like herself. She was an important piece to both of their lives and things just weren't the same without Chloe around to brighten things up. Taking her home wouldn't be an instant fix to their problems, but it would help some and that's all that mattered._

* * *

Somehow Beca had fallen asleep and as she slowly pulled her eyes open, she could feel Chloe's warm body leaning on hers and soft bursts of air hitting her neck. From the open blinds on the window she could tell that it was late and as she looked around for her phone to find the time, she heard someone clear their throat and looked up to see Jesse standing in the doorway. She frowned at him and said "How long have you been standing there?"

Jesse smirked and said "Long enough to see that you drool in your sleep. Not cute, Beca. Anyway, it's almost nine and I'm your chauffer for this evening since Aubrey is busy getting the apartment clean for tomorrow. We should get going before the nurses come in here and kick you out."

Beca stifled a yawn as she nodded and gently nudged Chloe's shoulder until her eyes opened and she smiled lazily at Beca as her eyes adjusted to the lights. Beca returned the smile and said "Hey, I'm sorry to wake you up but I have to head home. It's late and I don't want them to call security on me or something. Jesse's here and he's going to drive me home. Are you feeling alright? Do you need anything?"

Chloe smiled up at Jesse and said "Hey, Jesse. Thanks for getting her and driving her tonight. I'm just tired Beca and the only I need is a goodnight kiss."

Beca nodded and kissed Chloe gently on the lips before pulling away and climbing down from the bed. As she left the room, she smiled at Chloe one last time and said "I love you and I'll see you tomorrow bright and early. Sweet dreams."

Jesse shut the door behind them and as they started to walk down to his car, he felt a smile grow on his lips at how tender Beca had been with Chloe. It was uncharacteristic and he knew that she had to be head over heels for the girl to act this way. As he slung an arm around Beca's shoulders, he softly said "That was really sweet back there; using Chloe as a pillow and wishing her sweet dreams. I take it that you're excited for tomorrow."

Beca smiled despite herself and said "Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it. It's been a long time and I just want to get her home and out of this place. I've spend pretty much all of my free time up here and it'll be nice just to relax with her at home and not have to worry about nurses coming in or visiting hours. Do you know what's weird? I've started to call Aubrey and Chloe's place home. I never call my dorm room or my dad's house that, but it doesn't feel so weird to call their apartment that."

Jesse pulled her a little closer and said "I think you're growing up, Be-caw. That was a pretty mature realization to come to and I think it just means that Aubrey is growing on you and that you're going to miss her when you eventually go back to your dorm and Amy. I can't say that I blame you though; Aubrey is pretty great to be around."

Beca rolled her eyes and said "I pour my heart out to you, my best friend, and you start talking about Aubrey. How close are you two exactly? The last time I heard, someone is still too big of a wimp to actually ask her out on a date. What are you afraid of? A little projectile vomiting if you screw something up?"

Jesse shoved her playfully as they stepped onto the elevator and said "Nice. I call you mature and you starting talking about puke. Anyway, we're working up to the whole date thing. She wants to take it slow and we're just hanging out and enjoying each other. She even let me kiss her the other day. On the lips."

Beca laughed and said "Wow! Way to make your move, slugger. Maybe tomorrow she'll let you feel her boobs."

Jesse just shook his head and said "Again, nice. I really care about this one and while you're a real comedian about this, I'm fine with taking it slow. I don't want to lose her and if it means not getting to second base for months, I'm okay with that."

As they walked out of the hospital and into the cool night air, Beca softly said "Okay, I'll lay off a little. So, why are you so serious about Ms. Posen? I know she's pretty, but what else is it?"

Jesse started to dig through his pockets for his car keys and said "Actually, it doesn't have that much to do with Aubrey. I like her and everything, but I think I'm serious because I've been watching you and Chloe over the past three weeks. You're totally in love with her and it makes you this completely different person and it's like she has your whole heart in the palm of her hand. The way she looks at you sometimes…it's like she would give the whole world for you. I want Aubrey to look at me like that one day and if I can feel one bit of how Chloe feels for you, I'll be set for life."

Beca felt her eyes mist over at his sentiment and it was her turn to shove him, pushing him into his car as she tried to diffuse the awkwardness that had fallen over them. He smiled at her and she softly said "You're right, she does have my heart and it's great. I like who I am when I'm with her and I think it's really nice that you want that with Aubrey. Now, can we get in the car and quit with this whole conversation? I feel like I'm in a Lifetime movie with you and you're one sappy comment away from swelling violins and the credits playing us out."

Jesse grinned at her movie reference and dropped the subject, unlocking the doors and allowing for both of them to get into his small sedan. As they pulled out of the hospital and started to drive over to Aubrey's building, Jesse looked at Beca and said "I'm excited for tomorrow too, you know? I'm really glad that Chloe's going to be out of this place and at home with the two people that love her the best. Plus, I'm pretty psyched about Thanksgiving tomorrow. This is my first holiday away from my parents and Benji and I picked up some beer and other stuff yesterday, so prepared to get wasted! I know you're excited about spending the holidays with me, right Mitchell?"

Beca leaned against the door as she suddenly felt tired and her voice gradually got softer as she said "Yeah, it's going to be great. Thanksgiving with Chloe, Aubrey, Amy, Benji, and you. What could possibly go wrong? If I make it out of tomorrow without being arrested or having my head in the toilet from drinking too much, I'll be surprised. It'll be nice though to actually be with people I like on a holiday. I could get used to this."

Jesse was about to agree when he saw Beca's eyes slowly shut and her body relax as she fell asleep. They were only about five minutes from the apartment building, but he turned the radio down a little and just stared out into the night with his thoughts keeping him company. If someone would have told him a month ago that he would be falling for Aubrey Posen and talking about relationship with his old crush, he would have thought they were completely crazy. Now, it strangely felt right and somehow it worked and that was okay.

For over a year, he thought that Beca was his person; his endgame and the one he kissed at the end of his movie as the screen darkened and the credits started. The Joey to his Dawson, the Cristina to his Meredith. Only she wasn't and that was okay too. Her person was Chloe and somehow he was okay with seeing her happy and actually enjoyed it.

Maybe he was moving on or maybe it was just growing up. Either way, he knew now that he needed to find his own happiness and if that came through having a 'person', then that was okay too. If it was Aubrey, then he would embrace it and let himself fall in love with her. But if it wasn't, it was nothing to get upset over and he would just have to keep looking. Keeping an eye out for the person that would steal his heart and make him smile the same doofy smile that painted Chloe's face whenever she saw Beca.

For now though, he had his friends and they were healthy and coming home and that was all that mattered. Tomorrow would be a blast and he couldn't wait, but for now he had to get through today and sitting in that car with his sleeping best friend was enough. For the first time in a long time, his heart felt completely full and that was okay too.


	3. A Long December

**A/N: So this got a little out of hand with the length, but this is my attempt at a more lighthearted chapter. The story so far has been pretty serious and I thought this would be a good break from all of that. I never thought that a Thanksgiving chapter would take ten pages in Word, but I kind of like this chapter and it was fun to write. Thanks for all of the reviews and follows. It's really cool to think that so many of you read my work and said "Yeah, I'll follow this weirdo." It gives me the needed push to get this stuff written and published relatively quickly.**

**As always, reviews are appreciated and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

The smell of hospitals in winter  
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls  
All at once you look across a crowded room  
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

_A Long December- Counting Crows_

* * *

**Chapter Three: A Long December**

Aubrey opened up the oven and leaned in, taking a deep breath and sighing as the savory aroma of cooking turkey filled her nose. Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday and this was her first time spending it without her parents, so she was pretty nervous about preparing the bird correctly. She had filled it to the brim with her mother's famous stuffing recipe and put it in for the time that she calculated, three times to be exact, but the waiting was killing her. There was a fine line between overcooking it and taking it out too early and she didn't want to spoil the centerpiece of the holiday meal.

Across the room, Chloe was sitting on the couch and rolled her eyes as the door to the oven was shut for the umpteenth time that hour. She knew that Aubrey was freaking out over the meal and wanted it to be perfect, but how did she expect the turkey to ever get done if she kept letting the heat out? She looked up and saw Aubrey leaning on the counter, her head resting in her palms as she read over a recipe for the fifteenth time that day. Chloe sighed and said "Bree? Are you okay? It's just a turkey and I'm sure that you made it fine. It's just us and no one is going to notice if your stuffing isn't perfect. Try to relax a little, it's Thanksgiving! Come in here and watch the parade. I DVR'd it since you were taking your morning run during it and it'll be fun to look at all the stupid floats."

Aubrey shook her head as she ran her hands over her sleek ponytail, making sure that it was perfect in case a certain someone came walking through the front door, and said "No, someone has to make dinner. I love you guys and everything, but you're all kind of irresponsible and when I asked everyone to bring food I knew that no one would know how to make anything. So, I still have to make the potatoes and corn and rolls and work on the relish tray. We can watch it later."

Chloe sighed and said "I told you that I could help out. I'm not an invalid and I can sit down and help with the relish tray or opening up cans or whatever you need. Anyway, _I _brought food so at least one of us is kind of responsible. My pies are in the oven with that turkey too and if you open the door again, they're not going to cook right and dinner is really going to be ruined. It's going to be okay, Aubrey. Your dad isn't here to judge you and none of us will either. Anything you make will be great because we're all just looking for someone to spend the holiday with. If you weren't doing this, we'd all just be cooped up in our rooms with crappy takeout and no holiday spirit. Our expectations are pretty low, so burn the turkey or screw up the stuffing. No one is going to think less of you."

Aubrey just shook her head and went back to preparing their meal, laying out a glass platter and opening up jars of pickles and olives for her relish tray. After a while she looked up at Chloe and said "Chlo? Thanks for trying to calm me down. I know that I can get kind of intense sometimes, but this is my first time on my own and I just want things to be great. You may not expect anything from this, but I do and I…I want this holiday to be good for you and Beca and everyone else. It's been a tough year and we need this. I need this."

Chloe wasn't sure what to say to her to make her feel better and just let it go. She knew that the accident had been rough for Aubrey and that she was just trying her best to move on and make things better. It hurt to see her friend acting like this, reverting back to her college behavior and anxiety, but it wasn't unexpected and Chloe just had to ignore it. The perfect distraction quickly presented itself when the front door opened and Beca came into the apartment with a large box in her hands. She sat it down at the island in the kitchen and looked up at Chloe with a smile growing on her face. Chloe grinned back and said "I thought you forgot! What took you so long?"

Beca just shrugged as she looked into the box and said "This box is heavy and the elevator was full downstairs, so I had to hoof it up five flights of steps with one arm. It was worth it though, check it out." Beca reached into the box and pulled out a giant cornucopia centerpiece for the table, filled with fresh flowers, and matching napkins and wrapped silverware.

Aubrey looked up at the decorations and said "Beca…they're so beautiful. Where did you get them from? This is going to look great on the table and I love it!"

Beca smiled warmly at the blonde and said "Well, I don't have an oven back at school and I wanted to bring something for the party. I had some time on my hands when Chloe was in the hospital and I made this for you. Chloe told me that you didn't really have anything for the table, so I figured it was the least I could do. Fear not though, I did bring some refreshments for the party."

Aubrey raised a questioning eyebrow and felt her mouth drop open moments later when Beca pulled bottles of rum, vodka, and _Jaegermeister _along with cans of _Coke_ and _Red Bull_ out of the box and set them on the counter. She could hear Chloe laughing at the spread of beverages in front of them and Aubrey just shook her head, disappointed that Beca felt the need to introduce alcohol to a family holiday.

Aubrey rolled her eyes at Beca and said "Seriously? The centerpiece was so sweet and you follow it up with an alcoholic's dream. Just who is going to drink all of this and is it really necessary?"

Beca laughed as she sunk onto the couch next to Chloe and said "Yes Aubrey, it is. It's a holiday and regardless of who you spend it with, you need booze. If you didn't expect alcohol at this party, then you're seriously deluded. Lighten up! You look like you're about to cry and if you do, who's going to do Jaegerbombs with me later? Are you mad?"

Aubrey shook her head and said "I should have expected this, especially from you. I'll allow the alcohol, but I'm not doing Jaegerbombs with you or drinking anything. Someone has to be the designated driver and I guess it'll be me. Now, I have mashed potatoes to get back to."

Aubrey turned away from them and Beca looked down at Chloe as a smile played on her lips and she fought back a laugh. Chloe just raised an eyebrow, warning Beca not to say a word, and wrapped her arm around her girlfriend's back and pulled her a little closer. Beca rested her head on Chloe's shoulder and relaxed as Chloe flipped on the parade and they watched it together, trying their best to enjoy it and not get distracted by a frantic Aubrey flitting around the kitchen as she prepared their meal and shoved the alcohol back into the box.

Aubrey had a reputation to uphold and if Jesse, or anyone else really, came in and saw the alcohol she would die of embarrassment. Aubrey was a good girl and good girls didn't drink on Thanksgiving. Even if the idea of downing a shot of vodka seemed like a good idea as she fumbled with the potato peeler and slit her hand open. This was going to be a **long** day.

* * *

An hour later, the front door of the apartment swung open and a loud voice said "What's up, bitches?! Happy Thanksgiving Yanks!" Amy stepped into the apartment with a huge smile on her face and a bag in her hands. Aubrey studied her carefully, noticing that she hadn't brought food either, and pulled her in for an uneasy hug. How difficult was it to follow instructions? It didn't matter though since she had prepared enough for everyone, but it was still irritating.

Amy pulled away after a few moments and she smiled at Beca and Chloe before saying "We don't have Thanksgiving back home, so I didn't know if you brought gifts or whatever. So, I did it anyway. Here Blondie, I brought you this."

Amy reached into her bag and pulled out a box of candy, thrusting it into Aubrey's arms. Aubrey tried her best to smile and said "Thank you Amy, but it's not necessary. We don't give gifts out on Thanksgiving, that's Christmas. This is just about eating and being thankful."

Amy smiled and said "Eating? Well, I'll like this holiday then. Open up those chocolates, I'm starving!"

Aubrey just shook her head and said "Later. I don't want to spoil my appetite before we even eat. We should start once Benji and Jesse get here, whenever that may be."

Amy shook her head and said "Your loss then. Anyway, they just pulled in when I got here. They should be up in a minute."

Aubrey nodded as she went back to the kitchen to check on the food and Amy walked to the living room and grinned at the couple that was snuggling together on the couch. Beca was practically lying on top of Chloe and they had a heavy blanket covering their bodies as they talked quietly and sipped from mugs filled with hot chocolate. Amy sat on the coffee table in front of them and pulled the blanket away swiftly, feeling slightly disappointed when the only thing she exposed was them holding each other's hands.

Beca rolled her eyes as she pulled away from Chloe and said "What the hell? What were you expecting to find under there, Amy? We're in the middle of a living room with Aubrey ten feet away; I'm not going to…_molest _her or anything. Stop smirking Beale, it's not funny!"

Chloe just laughed as Amy pulled her in for a hug and said "Yes it is. Hi Amy, I've missed you. I wish you could have visited more when I was up in the hospital. How have you been?"

Amy pulled away and said "I've been great! With Bellas and classes and all of my boyfriends, I've been so busy. So busy that I couldn't come up to the hospital a lot, but I'm glad that you're home now and I have something to make it up to you with. Here, I brought you guys presents too."

Amy thrust two packages into their hands and Beca opened hers with a smile growing on her face. It was a new flash drive and she was always happy to add another one to her collection. She had more than she could count scattered around her room, but had run out since going to the store was the least of her concerns in light of everything that had happened. Amy must have noticed this and she smiled and said "Thank you, Amy. I ran out a week ago and I can definitely use this. Maybe I'll even make you a mix. Something you can play for your boyfriends when you bring them over and make out with them on my bed."

Beca winked at her and Amy felt her face turn red, uneasily smiling as Beca revealed her secret. Amy just shrugged and said "Your bed is more comfortable than mine, plus you're never there. I'm starting to feel like I'm living in a single since I only see you when you come home to sleep. Anyway, how do you like your gift Ginger?"

Chloe smiled uneasily up at Amy as she held a blue bandana in her hands and said "Um…is this what I think it is?"

Amy grinned and said "Well, you know that I keep it pretty gangsta and I figured that you could roll with me and the Crips now. After your wreck and everything…"

Amy tried to smile as Chloe's face paled and Beca looked like she was ready to strangle her. Maybe her sense of humor was too much for them, especially on a day like today, but Amy thought that it had been funny. The awkward tension made her realize that it wasn't though and she softly said "That was awkward. Too soon?"

Chloe just shook her head as she managed an uneasy laugh and said "No, it's fine. I just…I always thought that yellow was my color. I'm from Florida and I thought that my allegiances were with the Latin Kings. Thank you though; I'll definitely roll with you guys."

Amy laughed as the tension was broken and flashed Chloe a relieved smile as she went out to the kitchen, but Beca still looked angry and said "I can hurt her, if you want. That wasn't funny and I can push her down the steps or something. Even better, I can tell Aubrey what she said and she'll take care of it herself."

Chloe just shook her head and said "It's fine and you need to lighten up a little. She's Amy and…well there's really no word to describe how she is but I'm not offended. It_ was _kind of funny and I think she meant well by it, but not everyone gets her sense of humor. Aubrey told me that the accident kind of shook her up and I think that was her way of telling me that she's glad I'm okay or at least I'm going to take it that way. I hope she's not serious though and wants me to go gangbanging with her."

Beca smiled and said "You never know with her. I'm still not convinced that she hasn't actually wrestled an alligator. I should probably go and check on Jesse and Benji. It's been longer than a minute and I hope they didn't get lost or something. Are you okay by yourself?"

Chloe nodded and said "Yeah, I'm alright. Go and fetch your friend; I'll make sure that Aubrey and Amy don't kill each other."

Beca left the apartment and Chloe was about to settle back against the couch when she heard Aubrey's shrill voice say "Seriously, Amy? When I said food, I meant something like cookies or a cake or even something that we could microwave. **Not **three bottles of _Boone's Farm_. Are all of you lushes or am I just that much of a prude?"

Chloe could hear Amy starting to argue back with her and slowly pulled herself to her feet and held onto the couch and the end table as she took wobbly steps into the kitchen, desperate to get in there before a fist fight broke out. As she reached the island, she held onto it as her legs wavered and Amy wrapped an arm around her hip to keep her steady. Chloe flashed her a thankful smile and said "Bree, you're a prude and Boone's Farm is a Bella tradition, so I think it's okay. Amy, thank you for bringing it and I'm sure it will go lovely with Aubrey's meal. Now, can we stop fighting and just enjoy each other's company? If I wanted a holiday with a lot of fighting, I would have gone to Florida and spent it with my parents. My step-dad always manages to fight with his father over the football game and we've had the cops called too many times to count. Don't make me involve the police today, okay?"

Aubrey just nodded wearily and said "Yeah, I'll relax." She allowed herself to calm down for a moment but suddenly remembered Chloe stumbling into the room and said "What were you thinking walking in here?! I swear to God, I'm the only adult in this apartment. If someone doesn't injure them self or get completely wasted, I think I'll die from the shock. Sit down before I tell Beca and let her lay into you. She'll flip if she found out that you walked."

Chloe just rolled her eyes as she sunk onto a barstool and was about to say something back when the front door swung open and a heavy clunk made them all look towards it. In the middle of the doorway sat a keg and behind it stood a sweaty and panting Jesse and Benji. Jesse waved at Aubrey as her mouth fell open and said "Hey guys, Happy Thanksgiving! FYI, the elevator is broken down and beer gets exponentially heavier with each flight of steps. Sorry we're late."

Aubrey just shook her head at the pair and softly said "Unbelievable. I'm the only normal one here…"

Chloe glared at her from the table and Aubrey looked down at her feet, knowing that she was going overboard and threatening to ruin everyone's good time. After a few moments of thought, she decided to just go with it and went over to the pantry and pulled out two bottles of wine. She smiled at Chloe and then placed them on the counter with a heavy clink, sighing as she looked at the hodgepodge of alcohol in front of them. This was definitely not how she expected the day to go, but this was a different holiday than she was used to and maybe it called for new traditions.

As she pulled out wine glasses and placed them on the island, she managed a slight smile and said "Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Let's party!"

* * *

A little while later, they were all sat around the circular table in the small dining room of the apartment and Aubrey placed the turkey down on the table, perfectly done and the crown jewel of her holiday feast. As she sat down, Jesse smiled up at her and said "Aubrey, it looks great. I don't know what you were so nervous about."

Aubrey just shrugged and said "Well, it looks good but we don't know how it tastes. Everyone, dig in!" Platters were passed around the table and once everyone's plate was full, Aubrey cleared her throat and said "At home, one of my families' traditions is to go around the table and tell everyone what you're thankful for. If no one minds, I'd like to do that."

No one objected and Aubrey smiled and said "I'm thankful for this meal and all of you for being here with me to enjoy it. I'm thankful that law school is going well and that I got the internship that I wanted in Atlanta. I'm also thankful that my roommate is finally home and that we get to be together for the holidays. Amy, do you want to go?"

Amy nodded and said "Um…I'm thankful that Aubrey didn't smack me when I pulled out the _Boone's Farm_, which is delicious by the way. I'm thankful that Jesse and Benji brought beer because I'm definitely doing a keg stand later. Um…I guess I'm thankful for the Bellas and school and all of my boyfriends and…I think that's all of it. Oh, wait! I'm also thankful that Chloe is out of the hospital so Beca can sleep with her again and quit being so tense all of the time."

Beca glared at her from across the table, but laughed with everyone else and Amy motioned for Benji to go next. The shy teen looked down at his plate and said "I'm thankful for the Treblemakers and finally being able to get my a cappella on with some pretty cool guys. I'm thankful for Jesse being a great roommate and bringing me here so I can get to know all of you a little better. Jesse, bring the pain."

Jesse just smiled and said "I'm sure I will. Um, I'm thankful for having you as a roommate and being able to learn kick ass magic tricks and everything a person would want to know about Star Wars. I'm thankful for my best bud Beca and I'm really happy that we're friends again and that her girlfriend is feeling better. I'm also thankful for um…for Aubrey inviting me over here and allowing me to spend the holiday with someone that is pretty special. Chloe, you're up."

Chloe smiled at him and said "Awe, that was really sweet. I think you all know what I'm thankful for and that's just being here with all of you and out of that place. I'm thankful that I'm able to walk and that I'm alive and that I can spend this time with my girlfriend. I love her and I'm thankful that she's okay too. I'm also thankful for all of you guys and throwing this party and just being with me through all of this and for this holiday. It really means a lot and I know I say it all the time, but I love you all. Beca, you're the last one so make it good."

Beca nodded and softly said "I'm not good at this, so don't expect some sappy confession like Jesse's or something funny like Amy's. I'm just thankful that you're okay and that I get to spend this holiday and hopefully many more holidays with you. I'm thankful for the Bellas and all of you and just…I'm thankful that I didn't go to LA and stayed here. It was the best decision I ever made."

Her eyes got teary and she could feel Chloe's hand slip onto her lap and grip her knee comfortingly. Aubrey grinned at Beca and then said "Thank you guys for that. Now, let's eat!"

Everyone dug into their meals and Beca was no exception, but she was far more distracted than anyone else at the table. As she sat there and tried to eat Aubrey's delicious meal, slender fingers had moved from her knee slowly up to her thigh and were now resting loosely between her legs. She shifted in her chair to push Chloe's hand away, but Chloe was having none of it and kept it there as she ignored Beca's frustrated glances as she ate her meal and made small talk with Jesse.

Amy and Aubrey and Benji were engaged in a spirited conversation about a cappella and Jesse and Chloe were talking about Steven Spielberg movies and no one was paying any attention to her. Not that she didn't mind it, but now she desperately wished for someone to talk to her and get her mind off of just what Chloe was doing underneath the table. Her fingers were moving and pressing firmly up against the fabric of her jeans and it was taking everything in her power not to make a sound as she bit the inside of her mouth.

She could feel Chloe's fingers moving to the zipper of her jeans and she glared at Chloe and couldn't stop herself when she said "Dude, no! Not here!"

Aubrey looked over at them with a questioning look on her face and Chloe quickly said "I don't think Bree will mind if I ask her. Do you mind if Beca sleeps over tonight? She didn't think you'd want to talk about it in the middle of dinner."

Aubrey frowned and said "Yeah, it's fine with me. I don't care what you do. Beca, don't be so weird."

Beca's eyes widened as Aubrey turned back to her conversation and Chloe giggled at getting away with her ministrations under the table. As she slid her fingers into Beca's pants, Beca bit her lip to avoid a string of obscenities leaving her mouth and tried to focus on eating her dinner and not exposing their cover. She was going to **kill** Chloe when dinner was over.

As she choked back a moan, Aubrey suddenly looked over towards her and said "What the hell?!"

Both girls jumped to their feet, Beca thankful that Chloe quickly removed her hand from her pants, and stared at each other awkwardly. Aubrey raised an eyebrow as she stared at Beca and said "What are you doing? I forgot to get the rolls out of the oven and they're starting to burn. Why are you…?" She was about to question Beca, but allowed her eyes to trace down Beca's body and stopped when she reached her unbuttoned jeans. Beca completely froze and stared back at Aubrey, who had paled and looked like she was going to puke. She had been caught, literally red handed, and blown their cover completely. Aubrey hadn't known what was going on under the table and she blew it by standing up.

Beca's face turned a bright shade of red and she softly said "I um…I smelt them burning too and wanted to get them for you. I'll go and grab them from the oven."

Aubrey just shook her head and said "No, I think you should sit back down and eat. Obviously, from the state of your pants, you're pretty comfortable right now and I wouldn't want you to get up. That's really nice, you two. Of anywhere to do that, did it have to be at the Thanksgiving table? Unbelievable."

Aubrey walked away while shaking her head and Beca quickly sunk onto her seat, fixing her jeans and avoiding all eye contact as she drained the rest of the beer from her glass. When she did look up, Benji looked completely confused and she could see Jesse fighting the urge to laugh as he bit the corner of his lip. Chloe was eating quietly with her head down and Amy was staring at her with an amused expression on her face, dying to ask her a question.

Beca looked back down at her plate and Amy couldn't stop herself when she said "Were you two…fiddling with each other's bits under the table?"

It was Chloe's turn to feel her face grow red and Amy laughed in disbelief. She grinned at the pair and said "Wow, you really took what I said seriously! We don't have Thanksgiving back in Australia, but I didn't think this was how it was celebrated either. Now I'm definitely glad that I brought booze and I'm going to need it if any of you lot plan on celebrating that way with me. Is that why you've been staring at Aubrey all through dinner, Jesse? We can switch seats if you'd like."

Jesse's eyes widened and before he could say anything, Aubrey came back to the table with a platter full of burnt rolls and a fresh bottle of wine. She filled her glass up to the brim and then passed it over to a red-faced Beca, who wordlessly filled her glass too. When she looked back up, Aubrey was taking a long drink from her glass and nearly drained it before setting it back down onto the table with a loud clink. Everyone was silent as they watched her and they could practically cut the awkwardness with a knife.

After a moment, Aubrey cleared her throat and said "So, Jesse, how are the Treblemakers this year? Do you have any interesting new members or songs or anything…?"

She trailed off as she desperately tried to start a new conversation and as Jesse jumped in with a response, Beca instantly calmed and flashed Aubrey a thankful smile. Aubrey just winked at her as she finished her glass and the embarrassing event was instantly ignored as new conversations started and copious amounts of alcohol were consumed.

* * *

The night had quickly passed by them and as each hour ticked off of the clock, the amount of alcohol consumed grew as well. The _Boone's Farm_ was gone, thanks in part to a very thirsty Amy, along with most of the beer and the _Jaeger_. Beca had been delighted when Aubrey took part in Jaegerbombs with her and laughed in amazement when the uptight girl expertly dropped her shot into her drink and chugged it like a pro. There had been keg stands and shots and mixed drinks and by the time nine o'clock rolled around, everyone but Chloe was sufficiently inebriated. The girl refused to drink due to her pain medication and was content to sit back and watch the rest of them get hammered and make fools of themselves. None of them would remember their actions in the morning, but _she_ would and it would give her enough material to embarrass them with for years.

Beca was sitting at the table with her laptop in front of her, giving Jesse a lesson in how to make a mix. He was failing miserably at it, but it was making her laugh and she liked showing him something that she loved. On the floor, the rest of them were consumed with the longest game of _Monopoly_ ever. It had been going on since seven and by now, the only ones left in the game were Amy and Aubrey. Benji had long since bowed out and was lying next to the table, passed out from the copious amount of shots he had done with Amy.

Chloe had gone bankrupt and was leaning against the wall as she watched Aubrey slowly freak out as her supply of cash and properties was dwindling down to nothing. Aubrey had considered herself an expert at this game and won every game that she had ever played, but somehow the Australian across from her was dominating and it was incredibly frustrating. As she threw the dice and landed on another one of Amy's abundant properties and gave away a good chunk of her cash, she rolled her eyes and said "I'm going to need more to drink to deal with this. Amy, can you hand me that bottle of wine next to you?"

Amy nodded and leaned over to grab it, exposing a huge pile of cash that she had been hiding underneath her thigh. Aubrey's jaw dropped and she said "What the hell?! I knew it! You've been cheating! I knew we shouldn't have made you the banker."

Amy grinned as she passed the bottle towards Aubrey and said "Um…that's how we play it in Australia. Don't you have those rules here? The banker gets to hide money under their body and use it when they start to run out. It's payment for being the banker and it's really cool…"

Aubrey glared at her and placed the bottle on the floor before climbing to her knees and shoving Amy playfully as she tried not to laugh. Amy shoved her back and soon both girls were wrestling on the floor as the monopoly board went flying along with all of the game pieces and the money.

Chloe was hysterical as the pieces scattered along the floor and landed on her and on Benji's sleeping body and behind furniture. Amy was pinning Aubrey down as they argued with each other about the rules of _Monopoly_ and as Aubrey pushed Amy off of her, the wine bottle that she had asked for slowly tipped over and spilt its contents onto the rug.

Aubrey instantly sobered as the light carpeting was stained with the blood red liquid and slowly rose to her feet, stumbling towards the kitchen to grab some carpet cleaner. She was decidedly less sober than she thought however and soon found herself falling over. Amy tried to reach out and grab her, but only pushed her forward with her clumsy hands and Aubrey felt like she was in slow motion as she reached out for something to grab onto. Chloe's jaw slowly dropped open as Aubrey latched onto the table cloth, pulling the contents of the dessert table onto the floor and on top of her and Amy and Chloe's bodies.

Beca looked up at just the right moment and covered her mouth in shock as pies and cakes went flying through the air and landed on the floor, with their contents spilling from the pans and landing on the girls. She quickly shut the lid of her laptop and stared down at Aubrey, who laid on the floor silently and looked like she was ready to scream. She didn't though and as she pushed pumpkin pie off of her face, she scooped up some whipped cream from the overturned container next to her and smeared it onto Amy's face.

Soon both girls erupted into a mini food fight and Chloe just sat back and laughed as she wiped icing from her blouse and picked cake out of her hair. It was good to see Aubrey like this and even if it took plenty of alcohol, this was the Aubrey that she loved the best. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Beca watching her and looked up at her as a smile played on her lips.

The lights of the room were hitting Chloe perfectly as she broke down into giggles and Beca just stared at her as she felt her heart skip a beat. Across from her, Jesse was getting up to clean up the wine and on the floor Aubrey and Amy were making an ever bigger mess, but all she could focus on was her illuminated angel. The holiday hadn't been perfect and she had been mortified at the table, but none of that mattered as she gazed at the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Covered in cake, laughing so hard that tears were spilling from her eyes, and completely and utterly perfect.

It was a complete and utter disaster of a holiday with embarrassing moments and huge messes and burnt food, but to her it was perfect. She had her girl and a belly full of alcohol and a lifetimes worth of memories. Plus, she also had a camera full of pictures to torment Aubrey with later which was a holiday blessing. She had never been happier and as she stared at her beautiful girlfriend, she never wanted the night to end. Who knew that Thanksgiving with Aubrey Posen could be so sweet?


	4. A Jagged Gorgeous Winter

**A/N: So thank you for all of the reviews and follows for this story and for my personal account. One day I'll get around to thanking you all individually, but I'm lazy and easily distracted by the internet and I keep putting it off. Just know that I appreciate all of the support and the feedback and the reviews. Keep them coming because it's definitely motivating. I have a bunch of ideas for new stories to work on along with this and I'm only comfortable with publishing them now because of the great support I've gotten on here. So, thank you for reading!**

**Anyway, I was going to wait to finish this chapter another day, because I am lazy, but in honor of Brittany Snow and Anna Kendrick exploding the internet and Tumblr, I thought I'd finish this a little early to celebrate. Enjoy!**

* * *

Huddling against the walls  
Shrinking college trends  
With the days living faster now  
We cast our make pretends

_A Jagged Gorgeous Winter- The Main Drag_

* * *

**Chapter Four: A Jagged Gorgeous Winter**

_Chloe leaned back against the wall as she sat on Beca's bed and tried to read over her anatomy notes, but could barely concentrate with Beca staring at her from across the room. The girl was sitting at her desk and pretending to work on a new mix, but Chloe knew better and could feel her eyes watching her as she read. Finally, after four attempts to read a single line, she cleared her throat and softly said "Bec, I can feel you staring at me and you haven't touched your keyboard or mouse in like ten minutes. Is there something you want to say to me or talk about? I like having you stare at me, but it's getting kind of creepy and I really need to study for this final. What's up?"_

_Beca smiled gently, slightly embarrassed that she was so transparent to Chloe, and said "Um…I just wanted to talk to you about Christmas. What are you doing this year? I know that last year you went home to Florida, but I wasn't sure if you were doing that again and you haven't really said anything."_

_Chloe shrugged and said "I'm not really sure yet. I don't want to go home because I don't want to deal with all of the attention for four weeks. My mom is going to be overprotective and we always have a lot of family over and I just…I'm tired of talking about my back and the accident. Plus, if you stay here then I won't see you for a month and that's way too long. Aubrey's going home to Indiana and if you leave, I guess I'll go home and tough it out. What are you doing?"_

_Beca looked down at her lap and felt her face grow red as she softly said "I'm going back to Michigan and I was going to ask you…if you wanted…but it's totally okay if you don't…"_

_She trailed off as the words felt too awkward to fit through her mouth and Chloe smiled before she said "You look cute when you're flustered. What's going on, Beca? What can't you ask me? I promise I'm not going to laugh at you or brush you off. What is it?"_

_Beca looked back up at Chloe and couldn't help but smile when she saw Chloe watching her, her eyes shining with laughter and a smile playing on her lips. She instantly felt better when she looked at Chloe and laughed to herself before she said "Do you want to spend winter break with me? I want to take you home and show you where I'm from and introduce you to my mother. She didn't have time to get to know you when she came down after the accident and I want her to know how great you are and to see how much I love you. I understand if you don't want to and it's completely okay; I know it's a lot to ask of you to spend the holidays in a strange place and you can say no if you want. I'm not going to get mad or offended."_

_Chloe shook her head and said "I want to come with you and do all of those things. I've never had a white Christmas before and I want to go sledding with you and have snowball fights and just enjoy the holiday with you. I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to go on a little road trip with me if you were staying here, but now I don't have to. My grandparents offered up the beach house again and I was going to invite Bree to come up for New Years, but Lansing sounds good too."_

_Beca quickly shook her head and said "No, let's do both! We can spend the first two weeks of break with my mom and then we can spend New Years and the other two weeks up in Maine. I've been dying to go back up there and it'll be nice to really get away for the holiday. What do you think? Will your family be mad if you spend Christmas with me and my mom?"_

_Chloe shrugged and said "My mom won't love it, but I'm a big girl and I want to do this with you. I just need to get out of this town and away from this school and go somewhere where no one is worried about me or concerned with how I'm doing. It'll be nice to go to your house and just chill out for a while."_

_Beca smiled and said "It will be, but I can't promise that no one will worry about you. I'll be there and I constantly think about you. Plus, my mom's a nurse and she asks me questions all the time about how you're recovering and how your therapy is going. I get it though and it **will **be better up there and I want to get away too. Promise me this though: no road trip. We've already done that once and it was special and we can never repeat It, but flying is so much quicker. I love you and I love being with you, but not in a car for twelve hours. Deal?"_

_Chloe smiled widely and said "Deal. Now don't make me get up and walk the whole way over there to kiss you. Come here, Mitchell!"_

_Beca laughed as she got up from her desk and went over to her bed, pushing Chloe down onto her back with her body and laying on top of her as they kissed intensely. Chloe's notes were soon discarded as they fluttered to the floor and music and studying were forgotten and replaced with soft touches, tender kisses, and pure bliss._

* * *

Beca stood at the top of the largest hill in her backyard and smiled at Chloe as she uneasily eyed the sled sitting on the ground between them. Saying that you wanted to go sledding and actually doing it were two different things and from the look on Chloe's face, Beca could tell that she was regretting admitting her desire to sled. The poor girl had never been in an environment like this and was shivering in her winter coat as she rocked back and forth on her feet to try to keep warm. Florida was never this cold in the winter and outside of a visit up north when she was young to see her grandparents for Christmas, this was the first time she had ever seen snow and she was hating it.

Beca put a hand on Chloe's arm and said "You don't have to do this, Chloe. I know you're cold and we can just go back home and sit in front of the fire for a little while. I won't tell anyone that you were afraid to ride a sled, I promise?"

Chloe could see Beca starting to smirk and softly said "Yeah, right. I'm not scared to ride it…but the snow is only two inches deep and that can't be safe to travel down a hill on. Plus, this plastic is flimsy and this hill is bumpy and I…I don't want to fall on my ass in front of you. I have a reputation to uphold and wiping out in front of you will destroy it."

Beca grinned and said "You think pretty highly of yourself, Ms. Beale. I've ridden down this hill hundreds of times and it's not a big deal. It's a _little _bumpy, but as long as you hold on you'll be fine. Plus, I'll be right behind you and I won't let you fall off. Okay?"

Chloe looked back down at the sled and said "I thought you didn't move out here until you were fifteen. What fifteen year old goes sledding **hundreds **of times? No wonder you were unpopular in school, they probably thought you were a weirdo!"

Beca pushed her playfully and said "That was a low blow, Chloe. Now I'm definitely letting you fall off of the sled. Now come on, just sit down and ride it with me once and then you can say that you did it. We only have to do it one time, I promise."

Chloe nodded hesitantly and said "I guess, but you get to call my mom and explain to her how I got injured when I fall off and break an arm or something."

Beca laughed and watched as her girlfriend slowly sat down on the sled and tried to get comfortable as she gripped the sides of it with her gloved hands. She then eased her body down behind her and tucked her legs up onto the tiny sled before wrapping her arms around Chloe's waist and holding her tight. She leaned into Chloe's ear and kissed it gently before softly saying "Hold on tight, Chlo. One, two, three!"

On three, she pushed off and could hear Chloe's soft giggles as the sled raced down the hill, catching some air as the bottom and landing heavily on the ground. The force from their weight and the slick snow sent them careening wildly down the hill and Beca held onto Chloe, but somehow lost her in a mess of limbs, snow, and a breaking cheap plastic sled as they hit a small snow bank at the bottom. As Beca slowly got up and wiped snow off of her face, she could hear Chloe laughing in the distance and pulled herself up, wincing as she felt a few bruises starting on her legs from the bumpy ride.

She trudged through the snow and found Chloe laying on the ground a foot away, laughing hysterically as she clutched a piece of the broken sled in her arms. Beca looked down at her and said "Well, did you like it? Are you hurt?"

Chloe just shrugged and said "A little, but I'll live. I don't think this sled was made for two, especially not two adults. It wasn't too bad, but it's probably a once in a lifetime experience for me. Besides, I think your sled it pretty much ruined now. Sorry about that."

Beca just shook her head and said "It was old and it was bound to happen, especially with your big butt on it. Now, get up and let's go home and get some hot chocolate. I'm freezing!"

She reached an arm down to help Chloe up and as their fingers brushed, Chloe's other hand came up from the ground and threw a snowball directly into her face. Beca stumbled backwards, momentarily stunned at the stinging coming from her cheek, but quickly got her bearing and said "You're dead now, Beale!"

The girls chased each other across the backyard, throwing snowballs and flinging playful insults, for a few minutes until Beca tackled Chloe and fell on top of her into the snow. They were soaked from the messy snowballs and Chloe was shivering underneath her fingertips, but neither girl moved a muscle as they stared at each other. Chloe hair fell in damp ringlets out from underneath her knit tuque and her eyes were incredibly blue against the backdrop of the snow. She could have stayed like this all day, risking hypothermia just to gaze at her beauty. A kiss would suffice though and she leaned forward gently, kissing the tip of Chloe's nose and then the tiny scar on her brow. Chloe bit her lip at the sensation and Beca softly said "I love you so much. Thank you for coming here with me and meeting my mom and just…I couldn't imagine Christmas without you here. Come on, let's go inside and get cleaned up. I'll even cuddle with you in front of the fire."

* * *

A week later, Beca woke up in her cold bed and couldn't feel Chloe's body next to her. The redhead was like a human hot water bottle and without her there, it was impossible to keep warm in the drafty house. It was Christmas morning and Beca wanted to wake up to a kiss and a hug from the woman she loved, but apparently Chloe had other plans and Beca groaned before rising from her bed. She hated getting up early, but even adults got excited about Christmas and it was impossible to sleep in with a girl like Chloe being there when you woke up.

Beca could smell breakfast cooking and followed her nose downstairs to the kitchen, where her mother was preparing a full breakfast. She smiled warmly at her daughter and said "Merry Christmas, sweetheart! Chloe's in the den on the phone right now, but she should be done in a little while. She was kind of upset when I woke up and I think she's kind of homesick right now. It's her first Christmas without her mom and I think it's bugging her a little more than she's let on to you. Maybe you should go and sit with her and try to comfort her a little. I'll keep your food warm until you get back."

Beca nodded as she stood up from the table and went to the den, where she found Chloe lounging on the couch and talking softly into her cell phone. Her eyes were rimmed with red and she looked so sad that it made Beca's heart ache. She sunk onto the couch next to Chloe and wordlessly stroked her back, letting her know that she was there for her when she was done talking and that it was okay to be upset.

Chloe sniffled as her step-sister Abby came on the other end and softly said "Hey, kiddo! What did Santa Claus bring you this year?" As the five year old listed off all of the presents that she had received, Chloe felt her eyes fill with more tears and she had to bite her lip to keep them from falling. She loved her little sister and seeing how excited she would get when she saw all of the presents under the tree. She hated to miss these moments and it hurt to be away, but she loved being with Beca too and she couldn't have both things this year. She talked to her sister for a few minutes and then hung up her phone, wiping her face off before sliding it back into her pocket. She turned to look at Beca and softly said "Merry Christmas, Bec. I love you."

Beca smiled and said "I love you too and I'm sorry that you're sad this morning. I forgot all about your little sister and it must be tough for you to be away from her and your parents. I wouldn't know since I'm an only child, but I can imagine how much you love her and I wish you could be with them right now."

Chloe just shrugged and said "My mom didn't have her until my senior year of high school, so I missed a bunch of her life with college and stuff. It's not a big deal; I just got emotional when my mom started to cry. She understands though and she's going to visit soon. So, do you want my present for you?"

Beca nodded and Chloe picked a wrapped gift out from under the tree and handed it to Beca with a small smile starting on her face. Beca tore the wrapping paper off of the small box and gasped when she opened it, revealing a beautiful titanium ring inside. The ring was handmade and engraved with small designs. Beca held it close to her eyes and got a little teary when she saw music notes, a tiny set of headphones, a cursive 'B' for the Bellas and their initials. She grinned up at Chloe as she slid it onto her ring finger and softly said "It's so beautiful. Thank you so much, Chlo. It must have cost a fortune."

Chloe shook her head and said "I have some connections. I knew you loved rings and Titanium is our song, so I put them together and got you this. I'm glad you like it."

Beca nodded and said "I love it. Now, it's time for your present. I got you two things and one of them isn't here quite yet, so I'll give you the other first. It's nothing like what you got me, but I hope you like it." She leaned forward and picked a present out from under the tree, blushing at how tacky her comic section wrapping paper looked compared to the effort that Chloe had put into her gift.

Chloe ripped the paper off and smiled when she revealed a jewel case underneath of it which contained a CD. She flipped it over and read through the song list, grinning as each choice brought back a perfect memory that she associated with Beca. She blinked back her own tears and softly said "Beca, it's perfect. It's like you somehow knew how much these songs mean to me and I don't know how you did it, but you're amazing! I love you."

The girls kissed and stayed that way for a few minutes, just holding each other and making out until the doorbell ringing forced them apart. Beca smiled at Chloe and said "Come on, the second part of your gift just arrived."

Beca pulled Chloe to her feet and they walked to the front door hand in hand. When they reached it, Beca took a step back and softly said "Open it, Chlo. Merry Christmas, baby."

Chloe laughed at Beca's tender words and slowly opened the door, freezing as her little sister burst through the door and wrapped her arms tightly around Chloe's legs. Her mom and step-dad stood smiling in front of her, their arms full with wrapped gifts, and she felt herself break down into tears as they stepped into the house. Her mom handed the presents to Beca, who gave them a moment alone, and wrapped her arms around her daughter and held her tightly as she sobbed.

They stood that way for a minute until Chloe calmed and said "Why are you here? I thought you were spending Christmas in Tampa. How did you know to come here?"

Her mom smiled and said "You have some girlfriend, Chloe. She called me last week and said that you were a little blue and that her and her mom would love our company for Christmas. So, she helped us book a flight and a rental car and we're going to spend Christmas here and then leave in the morning for New York to see Grandma and Grandpa. She's definitely a keeper, Chlo. Now, where's Susan at? I want to help her out with dinner and thank her for letting us come here. Go and talk to your girlfriend, Chloe. She deserves a few hugs and kisses for this."

Chloe nodded and went to the living room, spotting Beca leaning against the wall and playing with her new ring. Beca bit her lip when she saw Chloe's red eyes and softly said "So, did you enjoy your present? I knew you were feeling a little sad and I wanted them here too. I want to be your family and I want us all to know and like each other. I don't want to be like my dad and I just…one day you'll be mine and so will your family and I don't want to ever keep you apart from them. Merry Christmas."

Chloe smiled back at her as she started to cry again and softly said "Merry Christmas, Bec. I love you so much and you don't know what this means to me. You'll never know how much **you **mean to me. Now come here and let me kiss you."

Beca crossed the small distance between them and held onto Chloe tightly as both girls cried and kissed each other until Abby burst through the door with a new toy to show Chloe and her special friend Beca. Beca grinned despite herself at the interruption and sat down on the floor with the little girl, talking to her and just smiling at how great Chloe was with the small child. There was no place else she would rather be.

* * *

It was New Years Eve and Beca found herself sandwiched on the couch between Aubrey and Chloe. On one side of her, Aubrey was texting Jesse on her phone with one hand and sipping champagne out of a wine glass with the other. On her other side, Chloe had fallen asleep and was leaning heavily against her body. They had enjoyed a long day of shopping and eating and singing and it had exhausted Chloe. She had been so excited for New Years and watching the ball drop, but couldn't even reach eleven without passing out.

It was three minutes until the New Year and Beca flipped on the TV, turning to CNN to watch the ball finally come down and the new year to begin. Next to her, Aubrey put her phone down and said "He's going to call me back when the ball drops. Something about serenading me with _Auld Lang Syne_ and kissing the phone, but he has to get away from his parents first. Do we have to watch CNN? I want to watch Ryan Seacrest do the countdown. He's so cute!"

Beca rolled her eyes and said "It's painful to watch him do it and he'll never be like Dick Clark was. I also don't want our brains to rot while we watch him and some one-hit wonders party on TV, so instead we're going to enjoy Anderson and Kathy Griffin. You'll like it, they're funny."

It was Aubrey's turn to roll her eyes and she softly said "Whatever, it doesn't matter to me. So, are you going to wake her up? She's been looking forward to this all day."

Beca shook her head and said "Look at her, she's exhausted. I'd rather her get some sleep and be a little mad at me then wake her up when she looks this comfortable. So, there's only a minute left in 2012 and look who you get to spend it with. Aubrey Posen and Beca Mitchell ringing in the new year together; who would have thunk it?"

Aubrey laughed and said "Definitely not me, but things have changed and you're my friend now and I'm glad to spend these last thirty seconds with you. Now, be quiet so we don't miss the countdown."

Both girls looked up at the television in front of them and got a little teary as the seconds quickly slipped off of the screen. Finally, in a burst of cheers and fireworks, 2012 ended and a new year began. A year for new beginnings and new relationships. A whole year for Beca to prove to Chloe that she was worthy of her love. A year to be friends with Aubrey and to watch Jesse make a fool of himself in his attempts to woo the girl. A year to have friends and enjoy the Bellas and college.

Next to her, Aubrey sniffled as she drank the rest of her champagne and she smiled at Beca before softly saying "Happy New Year, Beca Mitchell! I'm not going to kiss you, but I hope your year is really special."

Beca smiled and said "You too, Aubrey." Aubrey's cell phone started to ring and Beca winked at her as she jumped off of the couch and ran to the kitchen, eager to talk to the boy that was stealing her heart. Once she left, Beca leaned back on the couch and kissed the top of Chloe's head, resting her lips there for a moment before whispering "Happy New Year, Chlo."

* * *

A half hour later, Chloe finally awoke to her girlfriend and best friend laughing hysterically on the couch. She looked up at the TV through her bleary eyes and could make out Kathy Griffin getting down on her knees and leaning in towards Anderson Cooper's crotch. She cleared her throat and softly said "Um…is she doing what I think she's doing?" Beca nodded and Chloe laughed before saying "That's so awesome. So, what time is it?"

Aubrey kept her mouth shut and let Beca answer the question, knowing that Chloe was going to be pissed. Beca looked down at her hands and said "Um…it's 1:30 in the morning. Happy New Year, sleepy head."

Chloe frowned as she looked away from Beca, angry tears filling her eyes along with disappointment, and Beca instantly felt bed. She looked at Aubrey for support, but the blonde wouldn't look back at her and let her handle this on her own. After a moment, Beca sighed and said "It's the same every year, Chlo. The ball drops and drunk people kiss on camera and scream like they're never been out in public before. I just wanted you to rest and you looked too pretty to wake up."

Chloe managed a slight smile and softly said "Well, thanks I guess. It's just that…this year **is **different. This year I have you and I just wanted to kiss you…"

Beca blushed and leaned forward, enveloping Chloe's lips with her own and kissing her passionately for a full minute until Aubrey cleared her throat loudly. Beca pulled away and looked up at Aubrey, who was also blushing and looked kind of uncomfortable.

Aubrey smiled at them after a moment and said "I'm going to bed before you two start to have sex on this couch. Happy New Year." She stood and kissed them each on the top of the head before leaving the room and giving them a little privacy, not wanting to ruin a romantic holiday with her presence and also wanting to send Jesse a good night text before she went to bed.

Back in the living room, Chloe was leaning against Beca again and slowly drifting back to sleep. Beca could feel her breaths deepening and took a page out of Jesse's romantic playbook as she softly hummed _Auld Lang Syne_ into her ear. Chloe joined her softly and by the time Beca reached the last note, the girl had slipped back into dreamland.

As Beca looked down at her sleeping girlfriend, tears filled her eyes as she realized just how lucky she was. Last year at this time she was sneaking drinks up in her bedroom as her dad and his friends had a party below. She had hated the holiday and spent it alone; desperate for his friends to leave so she could get some quiet and just sleep. She had never imagined spending the holiday like this; with a good friend in one room and the woman she was hopelessly in love with sleeping on top of her.

It had been a long year, but so worth it as she held the one thing that had kept her sane through all of the years' ups and downs. The same person that would guide her through another year and show her more love than she thought a person could possibly feel. It was a gift to have a whole year to show someone love and get it in return and Beca couldn't wait. Maybe the holidays weren't so bad after all.


	5. Black and Blue

**A/N: So this is the turning point in this story. It's not going to be as romantic or cutesy as before and this is the point where the relationship is going to change and things are going to be different. Things aren't okay, they never have been, and this is where the effects of that come into play. I have the buildup to the end of this story planned and I really like where this puts them and this is just the start of the angst-fest that will be the rest of this story. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_You've been waiting a long time,  
To fall down on your knees,  
Cut your hands, cut yourself until you bleed,  
But fall asleep next to me.  
_

_Black and Blue- Counting Crows_

* * *

**Chapter Five: Black and Blue**

Beca sighed heavily into her cell phone and said "Really, Chlo? A double date with Aubrey and Jesse? How do you not see how much of a disaster that could be? How can you expect me to eat dinner with those two making googly eyes at each other the whole time? I'll probably barf and then Aubrey will barf and then we'll get kicked out and she'll kill me."

Chloe giggled and said "You're so dramatic! No one is going to barf and it'll be fine. Aubrey's my best friend and she asked and she really wants us to come. Jesse wants us to come too and it'll be fun to eat dinner and hang out with both of our friends. When was the last time that we just hung out and had fun? Please? Do it for Jesse."

Beca rolled her eyes and laid back on her bed, using every ounce of restraint in her body to stop herself from placing her pillow over her face, and said "Sure, I'll go. It's only for Jesse though, because I know how hard it probably is to relate to someone like Aubrey and I'll be his buffer. So, where are we going? Hopefully someplace nice so at least we'll have good food when the conversation sucks."

Chloe looked down at her hands and said "Um…_Dante's _in the city. Some guy that Aubrey knows from her internship is part owner and was able to get us reservations. Otherwise, it's like a three month wait to get in. That's pretty awesome, huh?"

Beca was silent for a few moments and couldn't believe that Chloe had sounded so lighthearted when she announced the name of the restaurant. She could feel her hands become clammy at the mere mention of that place and she softly said "Chlo, you do know that's the place that I took you to on our anniversary, right? The place we went to before the accident and the one that your mom took us to when I met her for the first time. Are you going to be okay if we go there? We haven't been back there and we haven't even really talked about that night and I…we can talk about it if you want. It might be hard to go back there and maybe you should tell Aubrey so she knows."

It was Chloe's turn to stay silent for a little while and once she managed to blink away all of the lingering tears in her eyes, she said "No, it'll be fine. I can't even remember much of that night, so there's not a lot to talk about and I'm okay. It's just dinner and we have to start moving on, so maybe this will kick start things. Plus, they have great food and I just want to make Aubrey happy because this is so important to her. My class is starting in a minute, so I should probably go. I'll pick you up at five and I'll call you when I'm outside. Bye, Beca."

Chloe hurriedly hung up her cell phone and swiped her hand across her eyes again, new tears having filled them as she tried to convince Beca that she was fine. She **did **remember that night and still had nightmares about it, but it was easier to just pretend that it never happened then to tell Beca and get her worried. She was fine and it was just dinner and everything would be okay. Maybe if she kept telling herself that she would actually believe it and the sinking feeling in her stomach would go away.

* * *

At exactly five, Beca headed outside of her dorm and smiled when she saw Chloe sitting in her car getting ready to call her. She got in the passenger side of the sedan and grinned when she saw that Chloe was wearing a casual outfit, a dark pair of jeans and a nice button down shirt, and hadn't gone all out. She had fretted for over an hour about what to wear and eventually settled on jeans, a nice shirt, and her favorite jacket. She didn't want Aubrey to kill her when she showed up underdressed, but seeing Chloe eased her mind and she said "Thank God you're not wearing a dress."

Chloe rolled her eyes as she pulled away from the building and said "You look fine and I've told you this countless times; Aubrey is **not** a psycho. She's not going to flip out on you because you didn't dress up. She just wants to have a good time and she invited you, so please try to enjoy it and chill out."

Beca sighed as she put her seatbelt on and said "I will. So, why aren't we driving with Aubrey and Jesse? Isn't it kind of a waste of gas to take separate cars?"

Chloe just shrugged and said "Aubrey said that they might head out somewhere after dinner and I don't want to tag along with them on their date. Plus, we can leave early and go back to my place and have some privacy for a little while. We haven't had the place to ourselves for a while and maybe…well it would be nice to be intimate with you again. We haven't done anything since the accident and I'm ready and tonight could be really nice for us."

Beca blushed as she glanced over at Chloe and she couldn't stop herself from thinking about her body and how long it had been and how it would feel. She reached out and took one of Chloe's hands in hers and squeezed it before she softly said "Yeah, I think it could be nice too."

The conversation pretty much stopped there for the rest of the ride and neither girl minded much since the silence was comfortable and was filled with occasional long glances and soft touches. Both of their minds were on each other and what would happen later and no words needed to be said. It had been a **long **three months and tonight would be special, but also scary and that was okay. It needed to happen eventually and they were both ready for it.

Once they reached the restaurant and allowed the valet to park the car, they waited outside in silence and could barely look at each other as they both felt a flood of emotions. This place had a key role in the scariest night of both of their lives and being here again brought it all back. Chloe glanced at Beca and saw her visibly shiver and could see how pale her face looked and felt her stomach turn. This had been a bad idea and just looking at her girlfriend confirmed that she had made a mistake. Beca looked as bad as she was feeling and she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her and take her home and forget about all of this. She couldn't though and just held Beca's hand as they waited. They had made a promise to their friends and they had to face this eventually and sadly, tonight was the night for that.

They had stood outside for five minutes before Jesse and Aubrey approached them, walking arm in arm and talking quietly with easy smiles on their faces. Aubrey could see how uneasy and pale both of them looked and softly said "Hey, are you guys okay? You look a little off and you're not talking. Are you having a fight?"

Beca slowly shook her head and said "This is um…this is the restaurant where I took Chloe for our six month anniversary. It's just kind of weird to be here again, but we're okay."

The smile slowly faded from Aubrey's face as she realized the significance of this place and she said "You went here…before the accident. Guys I had no idea and if I did, I would have never made reservations for this place. We can go somewhere else if it's weird for you to eat here. We totally understand and it's okay if we leave."

Chloe simply shook her head and said "No, it's okay. You got reservations for this place and it's impossible to get them, so we should just go in and enjoy our meal. It's not a big deal and like Beca said, it's just a little surreal. It's nothing to ruin the night over though, so let's just go inside and get out of this cold. It's freezing out!"

Aubrey just nodded and wrapped her arm around Chloe's back and guided her into the restaurant, with Jesse and Beca following closely behind them. They all felt unsure about coming here and the mood of both parties had been brought down at the memory of the accident. It had been scary for all of them and none of them had much of an appetite as they headed into the restaurant to start the rest of their date night.

* * *

As Aubrey and Chloe went to check them in with the hostess, Jesse stood back with Beca and placed a hand on her back, rubbing it comfortingly and letting her know that he was here. She smiled up at him and said "I'm fine, really. I'm just worried about her and how she's dealing with all of this. She doesn't tell me anything about that night and I know she remembers parts of it, but it's like she just wants to forget. I'm glad you're here though. Are you excited for your date night with Aubrey?"

Jesse just shrugged and said "Yeah, I guess I am. We've only had a few dates and they've gone well, but double dating seems a little soon for us. I'm glad that it's with you two though and at least I'll have someone to talk to. Are you sure you're okay? You look pale and I know this is hard for you and we can leave if you want. I'd much rather go for burgers somewhere then stay here, so just give me the word and we'll leave."

Beca just shook her head and said "No, this is what Aubrey wants and this is a nice place and it's romantic and you guys deserve that. Besides, I'm **fine**. I don't need you to worry about me and just focus on your date and try to have a good time."

After ten minutes, they were taken back to their table and seated by their waiter. Their drink orders were taken and they were left to gaze at their menus and make small talk until he returned. Aubrey and Jesse talked quietly about what they were thinking about getting, but Chloe was unusually quiet next to Beca and it worried her. She reached underneath the table and took one of Chloe's hands in hers and squeezed it, but felt sick when Chloe didn't squeeze back. She stroked her fingers over the back of Chloe's hand and whispered "Hey, are you okay? Do you want to go outside and talk?"

Chloe refused to make eye contact and simply shook her head, focusing on the menu and not saying a word to her girlfriend. If she spoke, she would give away the tears welling up in her eyes and the sob building in the back of her throat and she would ruin everything. She just needed to focus on the words and ignore her growing sadness and everything would be okay.

It was easier to think about staying calm then to actually do it, and Chloe quickly realized that as she found herself reading the same section of the menu over and over. Her water had been brought to the table by their waiter and her mouth was parched, but all she could focus on was reading over it and not crying. She couldn't cry, not here and not in front of her friends and all of these people. She **wouldn't **cry.

It only took a minute, but it felt like a lifetime as the tears ran from her eyes without control and her hands started to shake so hard that the menu was wavering in front of her. She couldn't move and felt paralyzed with anxiety as her heart started to pound in her chest. It was racing so quickly that it scared her and she worried for a moment that she was having a heart attack. Something was wrong, but she couldn't say a word and she literally felt like she was going to pass out as everything became too much to handle.

Aubrey was the first to notice that something was wrong with Chloe and looked up from her menu when she heard her breath coming out in sharp pants. It sounded like she was going to be sick and as Aubrey stared at her, she noticed the tears and her shaking hands and knew that something was seriously wrong. She gripped Jesse's thigh under the table and firmly said "Chlo, are you okay? You're crying and you look like you're going to be sick. Do you want to go to the bathroom with me and get cleaned up? Chlo?"

Chloe didn't say a word and Beca felt herself panic when Aubrey turned to Jesse and said "Something's wrong. We need to get her out of here, now."

Beca looked into Aubrey's eyes, seeing how fearful they were, and softly said "Chloe, talk to me. What's going on? Do you want to go home? Do you feel sick or scared or anything? Come on, talk to me Chlo. Let's go home and everything will be okay, I promise."

Chloe's tears turned to sobs at that moment and Jesse quickly rose from his chair, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on him and Chloe. He didn't care though and wrapped his arms tightly around her body and pulled her to her feet. He glanced at Aubrey and said "I'm taking her outside; she's needs some air and she needs to get out of this place. Come with me."

Aubrey and Beca followed Jesse as he practically carried her out of the restaurant through an emergency exit at the side of the building and sat her on the sidewalk. Aubrey was instantly at her side and forced her head between her knees as she struggled to breathe through her tears. Aubrey noticed that one of Chloe's hands was clutching her chest and she felt her own heart race as she hoped that she wasn't having a heart attack or something like that. Her heart couldn't handle another catastrophe like this and she couldn't bear to think of losing her best friend, not after everything that had happened in November.

Behind them, Beca was leaning against the building with Jesse, watching Aubrey rub her girlfriend's back and try to talk her through whatever was hurting her. She didn't know what to say or do to make it better and instead chose to let Aubrey handle it. She wasn't good at this kind of thing and it was easier to let someone else clean up the mess than to feel anything.

On the sidewalk, Chloe was trying to calm down and listen to Aubrey's comforting words, but all she could focus on was breathing. If she stopped, she would die and that couldn't happen. Her head was pounding and her heart felt like a stampede and she had to keep breathing. It was like she was trapped in a nightmare, but there was no way out and she was terrified.

It was scary to watch Chloe suffering like this, but Aubrey kept her senses and just wanted to help her. She was kneeling next to her now and softly said "Come on Chlo, you're going to be okay. You're outside and we're here and it's okay. Just breathe in and out and it'll be okay. We can go home when it's over and have ice cream and you'll feel fine. Just focus on me and you'll be alright. We're here."

It took five more minutes until Chloe's breathing became normal and her racing heart slowed down, but to her friends it felt like an eternity. Once it was over, Chloe was exhausted and leaned heavily on Aubrey as the tears kept coming and the embarrassment started. She had ruined their night and she couldn't stand the way they were looking at her. She hated to feel so weak and just wanted to get up and go back inside, but she had just been through something that completely took over her body and it was too soon to really do anything but clutch at Aubrey's jacket and cry.

Aubrey held her for a few minutes, just rocking her back and forth as she sobbed into her chest, and once she calmed down a little Aubrey looked up at Beca and said "I think you should get her checked out at the hospital. She was holding her chest and I could feel her heart pounding and you should get it checked out. It was probably nothing, but you need to be sure. Jesse and I will take care of the bill for the drinks and we'll meet you back at the apartment. Okay?"

Beca just nodded as her cheeks turned red with embarrassment. Aubrey looked so disappointed with her and she was disappointed with herself too. Why had she just stood there and watched this happen to the one person that she loved? She should have been on the ground with her, holding her and talking her through what seemed to be a panic attack, but she had froze and blown it. What kind of a person just sat back and watched in an event like this? She would never forgive herself for this.

* * *

Three hours later, Jesse sat in the kitchen of Aubrey's apartment and ate his third piece of pizza as he watched Aubrey pace the floor and stare down at her cell phone. She hadn't heard from Beca since they had gotten Chloe into the car and she was worried. Jesse didn't know what to do for her and softly said "Bree, you should sit down for a while. I'm worried about her too and I wish we had news, but if Beca hasn't called for you to come down there then it probably isn't anything serious. In fact, they're probably on their way back. She's going to be okay and you need to quit pacing before you put a hole in the floor."

Aubrey smiled up at him and sat down at the counter across from him, shoving her cell phone across the table and sighing as she ran her hands through her hair. She was exhausted after the events of the night and all she wanted to do was take a long bath and then go to sleep. She loved Chloe and she was her sister, but lately it was becoming overwhelming to fill that role. Her heart couldn't take much more and she just wanted everything to be okay.

Jesse could sense her anxiety and took one of her hands in his, holding it firmly and trying to comfort her. She visibly calmed a little and he said "So, what do you think that was back at the restaurant? Do you think she was sick or something was wrong with her heart or she was just overwhelmed? I've never seen anything like that and it was scary. Beca just froze and so did I, but you were so great. You got her through it and you should be proud."

Aubrey just shrugged and said "I just did what a friend does; what Beca should have been doing too. I understand that she was scared, but that's her girlfriend and Chloe loves her so much. I can't be mad at her though because I was barely holding on too. I don't think she was sick or anything like that, especially not something with her heart. I'm pretty sure it was a panic attack and there's not much they can do for that."

Jesse nodded and said "You're probably right. How do you know though? Have you ever seen one before?"

Aubrey blushed as she shook her head and she softly said "I used to have them. Before I got to Barden, when I was high school, and they ruined my life. I haven't had one in a long time, but I'm still scared of eventually having one again. They're the scariest thing that I've ever gone through and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Can we not talk about this anymore? No offense, but I'm not really ready to talk about that kind of thing with you."

Jesse simply nodded and didn't say another word, knowing that Aubrey just wanted to think and not wanting to push her any further. It wasn't any of his business and he would wait until she eventually told him more, but if she didn't that would be okay too. After seeing everything tonight, he didn't really want to hear about them anymore. Seeing it was enough and he would never get the sight of Chloe on that sidewalk out of his memory.

A few minutes later, the door to the apartment opened and both of them stood as Beca and Chloe stepped through. Chloe still looked pale, but her smile had returned and she looked relatively okay. Beca, on the other hand, looked pretty shook up and her eyes were rimmed with red and her hands were shaking slightly. Jesse immediately went to her side and pulled her close to him, sighing when he felt her practically collapse into his body.

Chloe smiled up at Aubrey and softly said "I'm going to take a bath and then I'm going to bed. Beca can fill you in on everything. Goodnight, guys."

As she left the room, Aubrey looked at Beca and said "What happened at the hospital? She looks alright, so I take it that she's not sick."

Beca nodded and said "Yeah, it was just a panic attack. They checked her heart and it slowed down and we were able to leave once she could sign herself out. They gave her some _Valium_ to calm her down and she's been fine ever since. We talked a little on the ride home and she's feeling better, but she's just tired and the doctor said that would be normal for a few days. I don't…I want to go back to school for the night. Could one of you drive me?"

Aubrey nodded and said "Jesse, you should take her home. I'm going to go and sit with Chloe and she just needs some space tonight. Beca's been through a lot too and just make sure that she gets home and gets some rest. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Jesse nodded and kissed Aubrey before wrapping his arm around Beca's back and walking her down to his car. Neither of them said much, but Jesse knew that this had really bothered her and he just wanted to get her home and away from everything. Sleep wouldn't help her forget, but it would do some good and that was all she needed right now.

* * *

Back at the apartment, Aubrey gave Chloe a little time to relax and then slipped into the bathroom with Chloe's favorite bathrobe and some comfy pajamas. Chloe rolled her eyes as Aubrey came into the small room and softly said "You know, there is a thing called boundaries. I don't just burst in on your baths and you don't know what I could have been doing in here."

Aubrey grinned as she sunk down on the closed toilet next to the bathtub and said "Probably nothing I haven't walked in on before. I've seen everything you have and I'm used to it, so chill out. You know about my past and that I've gone through this before, so you can talk to me if you want. I know it was scary tonight and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Are you feeling alright?"

Chloe just nodded as she pulled the stopper out of the tub and said "Yeah, I'm okay now. I just want to go to bed. I'm so tired and if I can sleep, then I can stop thinking about tonight. You must have been so embarrassed and I'm sorry."

Aubrey grabbed a towel from the rack behind her and offered it to Chloe before saying "Don't apologize for that. We should have known that going there was too much for you and for Beca. I should have known better and we should have left. We can't change it though and we just have to focus on getting you feeling better. Not physically anymore, but mentally. You're shutting down and Beca sees it and so do I. I'm letting you off the hook for tonight, but starting tomorrow we're going to start talking more. I'm not going to lose you again, got it?"

Chloe nodded as she slipped the bathrobe on and said "Yeah, I understand. Come on; sit with me until I fall asleep. I don't want to be alone tonight and I think I scared Beca away for a little while, so you're my sleeping buddy. It'll be like old times back at Barden."

Aubrey followed Chloe back to her room and sat on the edge of her bed, holding her hand and talking to her softly until she eventually fell asleep. She then went out to the living room and called Beca, hoping that it wasn't too late and that she would still be awake. When Beca eventually answered, Aubrey sighed and said "I hope I didn't wake you up, I just wanted to let you know that she's asleep now and doing a little better. How are you holding up? Is Amy there or are you alone?"

Beca softly said "No, I'm actually with Jesse and Benji. Jesse wanted to keep an eye on me tonight and I'm going to stay the night. I'm doing alright Aubrey, it was just a lot to deal with and I couldn't stay there tonight. I know I was disappointing and I should be there right now, but I couldn't."

Aubrey shook her head and said "Don't be sorry. You've been through a lot too and I'm just happy that Jesse is with you tonight. It's all going to be okay Beca, I really think so. We're going to get you two through this and I know it's scary and a lot to deal with, but it's going to be okay. I promise and a Posen never breaks a promise."

* * *

A few days later, Beca and Chloe laid on the roof of the apartment building and were talking quietly as they watched the stars. It had been a rough couple of days for both of them, but they had gotten through it and actually talked about the accident for the first time and it helped. They had just gotten back from a re-do of their double date with Jesse and Aubrey and while the other pair was off at a movie, Chloe drove her back here and pulled her up to the roof.

Chloe's head was resting on her chest and Beca softly said "What was the panic attack like? What did it feel like?"

Chloe held Beca a little tighter and said "Um…I can't really describe it. It was the scariest thing I've gone through, even more than the accident, and it genuinely felt like I was going to die if I didn't calm down. I never want to go through that again and I'm just happy that I haven't had one since. The doctor said that it could happen anytime though, so there's that to worry about now."

Beca kissed the top of her head and said "Maybe you should talk to someone about all of this. Maybe a counselor or a psychiatrist or someone that knows a little more than I do. It couldn't hurt, right?"

Chloe just shook her head and said "I'm okay. All I need is you and I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to watch the stars with you and fall asleep in your arms."

Beca managed a small smile and said "No sex? You were all gung-ho about it the other night, what changed your mind?"

Chloe just shrugged and said "I don't know, I just got excited for it the other day and after everything that happened it doesn't seem so important now. I still want to do it, but not up here and not tonight. Is that alright?"

Beca pulled Chloe a little closer and softly said "That's more than alright. You know, I've been holding off on doing it again because I'm afraid to hurt you. I don't want to hurt your back or your legs any worse than they already are and I…I guess I'm a little scared. Do you think I could hurt you?"

Chloe kissed Beca's cheek and said "No, you won't hurt me. I promise you that it'll be okay when we do decide to make love again and I can wait until you're ready. I'm ready for it now, but I understand if you're not and that's okay. You're worth the wait."

Beca smiled at the words and leaned down to kiss Chloe, exploring her mouth with her tongue gently and pressing their lips together for a minute until it felt right to pull away. Chloe leaned back against Beca's chest and Beca propped herself up and stroked Chloe's back gently as they stared up at the star filled sky.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Chloe took Beca's hand in hers and held it tightly. Beca squeezed back gently and froze when Chloe softly said "I'm so scared of it happening again. I think about it all of the time now and I can't stop remembering the accident and the pain and everything. What if I can't forget about that night? What if the accident is always going to be in my head?"

Beca held her a little tighter and said "I worry about the same thing and I've been thinking about the accident a lot since the other night too. I think it's normal though and it's just something we're going to have in our lives. We can't take those memories away and we just have to move on. You know, if you wanted to talk to somebody I would go with you. We went through that together and I want to get help with you too, if that's something that you want. You just have to tell me and we'll do it."

Chloe shook her head and said "I can't do that yet. If I go to a counselor it needs to be for me and I don't think I need someone to talk to. This is just a setback and if you want to go, then I support you, but I just need some time to get through all of this before I can process it. Do you get that?"

Beca simply nodded and laid back, staring into the night as Chloe wrapped an arm around her and closed her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep, Beca realized that for the first time in their relationship she felt completely alone. **She **wanted help and **she** wanted to talk to someone about everything she was feeling, but her and Chloe were worlds apart on that issue and it felt like she was alone and that scared her. Chloe had always been so open with her feelings, but she was closing herself off now and Beca didn't know how to handle that. As warm tears slid down her cheeks and landed in Chloe's hair, Beca worried for the first time that she was going to lose the one person that she loved and that terrified her. What would she do without Chloe?


	6. Carriage

**A/N: Here comes the angst fest! This story should end up with ten chapters and these next three are going to set up the ending, which I've had planned for months and love so much. I can't wait to get to that point and I love it more than the ending to _You In The End _so these next updates should come pretty quickly.**

**There's another note at the end of this that has nothing to do with this chapter, so without further ado here's chapter six!**

* * *

_Surprise, surprise, another pair of lips and eyes__  
And that's the consequence from actually feeling.  
But it's all inside of you  
It's all inside of you  
_

_Carriage- Counting Crows_

* * *

**Chapter Six: Carriage**

It had been three weeks since that terrifying night at the restaurant and it took Chloe having another panic attack to realize that she needed help. She had been alone during it and it felt like it was going to last forever as she laid on her bedroom floor and cried. It didn't though and when Aubrey came home and found her, they had a long talk and Chloe admitted that she was in way too deep and needed to do something. The next day, she talked to Beca and they found a counselor and started to go to therapy.

The first few sessions had been great and both girls were able to express their lingering fears from that night and for their future. Chloe revealed to Beca just how much of that night she remembered and Beca filled her in on the rest, recanting every sad detail and breaking down as she realized just how much it had affected her. That night had changed her life and made her realize that they weren't invincible. They were one moment away from losing each other at any point and that scared her. Chloe had been her first love and the thought of losing her was too much to handle, but she felt a little better when the counselor told her that this was perfectly normal. They had been through a lot and it was okay to question your mortality after coming close to disaster, but she needed to move on and Beca understood that and was desperate to start over.

After five sessions together, the counselor suggested that they come in individually for a few times and Chloe was okay with the idea, but Beca shied away from it. She had come here because she had Chloe to lean on and take over when things got too hard for her to discuss, but being alone was completely different and she was afraid of what the counselor would think of her. She feared that the counselor would figure out that she was crazy or something and tell Chloe and ruin her life. Sure, her fears were completely ridiculous, but she was allowed to overreact and Chloe comforted her, promising to love her even if she went nuts.

Chloe had gone first and Beca waited outside for a half hour, daydreaming and trying to think of things to tell the counselor so she would think that she was normal. Her reverie was broken when Chloe came out, smiling and calm, and the doctor told her to come into the room. She felt like an idiot as she laid back on the leather couch and the counselor wasted no time by jumping straight to Beca's youth and her parent's divorce. It had been brought up once during the group sessions and had been a sore spot for Beca, leading to complete silence and angry glares until the doctor dismissed them. As the doctor brought up her father, Beca felt herself shut down and stared down at her hands as she told herself over and over to just keep calm. Don't cry, don't say a word. Don't think.

* * *

_She could feel Dr. Stevens watching her from across the room and tried to ignore her as she fiddled with a loose string on her flannel shirt. It was old and falling apart, but it was her favorite shirt and was strangely comforting in the cold and sterile room. It gave her something to focus on as the shrink continued to watch her and wait for some kind of response; one that Beca had no intentions on giving. _

_After a minute, the doctor wrote something down on a notepad and softly said "Ms. Mitchell, I know that your parent's divorce probably affected you very deeply and you have expressed ill feelings towards your father in past sessions. I'd like to hear what caused the divorce. Maybe if we get down to the bottom of it, we can unearth why you feel the way you do about your father and maybe change that a little. Can you tell me what happened between your parents?"_

_Beca looked up from her shirt and said "I don't have to explain myself and why I don't like my dad! Not to you, not to anybody. If you must know, he walked out on us because he was too busy fucking some chick to take care of his wife and his daughter. We weren't worth his time or attention once he found someone else to love and that's the end of it. My mom raised me and she did the best that she could without any help from him. I don't __**need **__to change my relationship with him, so let's talk about something else."_

_The doctor took a few more notes and said "When they divorced, did your father try to maintain a relationship with you? Did you have to move from your house or to a new city? Those things can be stressful for a teenager, especially during an already difficult time in your life. How did you feel when they divorced?"_

_Tears flooded Beca's eyes as she thought back on the conversation she had with her mother; how she had cried when her mother told her that her dad was leaving and was too much of a coward to break the news to her himself. She didn't see him for almost a year after that night and she remembered nights when she cried herself to sleep over him until she just stopped feeling anything and shut him out completely. How she had felt so unloved as she packed up her bedroom and drove across the country from their sleepy little craftsman house in Seattle to a strange and modern ranch in Lansing that was far too big and sleek to ever feel like home. There was no growth chart marked on the kitchen wall, no hole behind her bedroom door from slamming it too hard during a fight, no memories or feelings or connection to her at all. It was just a place to sleep and make music and cry as she hid from her mother and the ghost of her father. It was hell and she didn't want to talk about it, especially not to a stranger. She had to get out of here before she freaked out and did something that she would regret, like actually feeling again._

_She could feel the doctor staring at her and shuddered when she said "Ms. Mitchell, are you okay? You look a little overwhelmed. Let's talk about what Michigan was like for you. How was your high school experience?"_

_Beca couldn't take it anymore and rose to her feet, pushing the couch back against the wall with the motion as she fought back tears. She stared down at the counselor and said "I don't need this. I know what I feel and what I went through and I don't need someone to help me understand it. He left us and my mom ran away and nothing was the same again. You can't say anything to make it feel better or different or change it. Right now I don't need this and I'm done with this shit, so I'm leaving. Help someone that actually needs it"_

_She stormed out of the office and rushed past Chloe, who rose and called after her but didn't follow her at first. She knew that Beca was upset and wanted to be alone and instead talked to their doctor who told her everything. After a half hour of sulking in the car, Beca grimaced when Chloe got in the driver's seat next to her and just stared at her. She looked angry and Beca could understand why, but didn't want to face it. She had disappointed her again, just like she had the night at the restaurant, and she couldn't stand to see Chloe's face as she tried to process everything and understand just what she had undertaken when choosing to date someone that was damaged. _

_After a few silent moments, Chloe cleared her throat and said "I understand, Beca. I get that he hurt you and there's nothing that can change that. Talking about it won't change it, so what's the point in ever bringing it up? I've been there with my own dad and I've internalized so much stuff about him and it sucks. People think you'll feel better if you just talk, but it hurts too much to tell someone that the one person that's supposed to love you unconditionally has failed. It's embarrassing and you always end up looking weak and getting pitied, when all you want is to be understood. __**I **__understand you Beca and I'm not going to push you to talk, but don't push me away. This was your idea to come here and it's been good for us, but we can stop if you want to and that's okay. Just tell me what you need to feel better and we'll do it. We'll find a new doctor or keep going together or quit. What do you need?"_

_Beca looked down at her trembling hands and softly said "I just need you. I needed you to come back and get on my level after the accident. We've done that now and I don't need anything else. When I'm ready to talk, I'll come to you and we'll do it but now isn't the right time. I don't know if it will ever be the right time, but coming here isn't going to do anything else for me and I just want to go home. You can keep coming if it helps you, but I'm not coming back. I'm sorry I pushed you into this and now I look like an idiot for freaking out. I'm sorry."_

_Chloe just shook her head as she started the car and said "You don't look like an idiot. You don't have to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with and that includes this. I love that you brought us here and got us talking again, but it's time to move on and you don't need it right now. I still do and I'm going to keep coming back and talking, but I'm not going to think any differently of you for not. I love you and as long as you're feeling okay then I'm happy. Now, let's go back to the apartment and watch cheesy Lifetime movies and order a pizza and forget about our dads. We have all weekend and I just want to be with you. Let's go home."_

* * *

Chloe had just gotten home from her very last physical therapy session up at the hospital and stripped down to a tank top and shorts as her body ached and felt ten degrees too hot from the rigorous final workout. She was back to normal again and the short run that ended her session had floored her as her body finally became hers again. Sure, she would have the annoying limp for the rest of her life, but she could walk and dance and run again and that was all that mattered. She wouldn't be the pitied girl in the wheelchair and she could start living again.

As she laid back on the couch, she looked through the messages on her cell phone and smiled at the last one that Beca had sent her. It had been from an hour ago, asking her to get home and wait for her because she had a surprise. Chloe had no idea what it would be, but she hoped that it was takeout and a movie and a whole weekend to spend with each other. A weekend to just reconnect and calm down from their busy schedules. School was getting tougher with midterms starting and regionals were only one week away for Beca and they were both stressing over their respective college lives. They had each other though and this last weekend to just chill out and regroup before they were slammed with deadlines, dance numbers, and bitchy a cappella superstars.

As she relaxed on the couch and flipped through the channels on the TV, the front door opened and Beca slipped inside with a grin on her face. She smiled down at her girlfriend and turned the TV off, kneeling in front of her and giving her a small peck on the cheek before she said "You look so sexy in those shorts and that shirt. You should work out more often; it gives me an easier opportunity to ogle you when you don't wear much. How was your therapy today?"

Chloe just shrugged and said "Exhausting, but worth it. I'm glad to be done and back to normal again. So, what did you have to show me? I don't think you came the whole way over here just to flirt with me. It's nice, but I don't buy it. What's up?"

Beca smiled and said "I have something to show you. Close your eyes."

Chloe smiled as she squeezed her eyes shut and giggled when she heard fabric running across skin and Beca groaning with effort as she removed an article of clothing. When Beca whispered for her to open her eyes again, Chloe froze when she saw Beca sitting on the coffee table in her bra with her shoulder bandaged up underneath the strap. She frowned and softly said "Beca, what did you do? Are you hurt?"

Beca simply shook her head and said "No, I'm fine. I was thinking about you the other day and about how much I love you. Going to the doctor with me and talking about everything meant so much to me and I know you weren't comfortable with it, but it meant a lot. You're always doing these things to make me happy and to open me up more and…I don't understand why half of the time. You're like the best person I've ever known and I'm just…not. I have problems and I close myself off and shut people out so I don't have to deal with my issues. I'm pretty sure half of the Bellas want to kill me right now and I…why are you so good to me?"

Chloe just shrugged and said "Because I love you and you deserve to be treated well. You get so down on yourself, but those girls love you and you've come so far over the last year. You pulled me through the accident and stopped me from shutting down and I love you so much for that. I was slipping away and you grabbed me and never let go. I love you and you love me and that's all there is to it. I know you're not going to leave and neither am I. I'm happy and I love being with you. Is that a good enough explanation?"

Beca nodded and said "Yeah, it is. I never really told you about my tattoos and I'm not ready to explain them all, but I want to talk about my shoulder. I got these purple flowers because my grandfather used to have them in his garden back in Seattle. My grandmother died before I was born and he lived alone and he didn't have a lot to keep himself occupied outside of music and the flowers. He had married young and had my dad when he was barely in his twenties and he was a hippy and he loved music. I would stay over at his house and he introduced me to old music and records and we would just lie on the couch and listen to song after song all day. I was thirteen when he died and it killed my dad. He was devastated and not long after that he cheated on my mom. Everything changed when he died and when I think about him, I remember those flowers and I had them tattooed on me so I can always have him with me. Up until now, he was the most influential person in my life. Now he has to compete with you and I wanted a part of you on me forever, so I had this done today. Please don't freak out when you see it."

Chloe nodded with teary eyes and gasped lightly when Beca moved the bandage away and exposed freshly inked and sore skin. Beca had continued the floral design down the front of her shoulder and to her collarbone with beautiful red flowers and music notes. It was the most beautiful thing that anyone had ever done for her and she touched it gently before she softly said "It's gorgeous, Beca. No one has ever done anything like this for me before and I wish I had some kind of grand gesture for you, but I think one tattoo is enough for me. I love you though and you have all of my heart and you always will."

Beca kissed the small ladybug tattoo on Chloe's wrist and said "You don't have to do anything like this for me, bug. It just meant something to me and I wanted to do it. I love tattoos and I love having a reminder of the redhead who broke down my walls and completely rocked my world. I love you."

Chloe simply nodded and as her pupils dilated with lust at Beca's words, she reached out for the DJ's hands and pulled them to her hips as she murmured "Touch me…"

* * *

_It was a warm June night in Maine and Beca had just finished working on a masterpiece that had taken her three hours to complete_, _slumping over her laptop and piecing together the right songs into a mix that floored her. It was perfect and the best thing that she had ever done and she wanted to find Chloe to celebrate with. As she stepped out onto the porch and looked out at the pool, she smiled when she spotted Chloe soaking in the water and staring up at the stars. This was Chloe's favorite thing to do at night and usually they swam together, but tonight Beca had ignored her and focused on her music and now wanted to make up for it. _

_As she approached the pool and started to pull her clothing off, she froze when she saw that Chloe was completely naked in the water. She stared down at Chloe's body with wide eyes and stopped pulling her own clothing off, unable to share a pool with a very naked and pleased Chloe Beale. _

_Chloe caught her staring at her body and softly said "I've been waiting out here for an hour. Do you like what you see? Why did you stop getting undressed?"_

_Beca stumbled over her words and said "Dude, you're n-naked. I can't come in there and swim with you like this, it's…it's really weird."_

_Chloe just shrugged and said "I took a long run tonight on the beach and I'm tired and it feels good. I do this all the time and it just feels better. Just come in and swim with me and it'll be fine. You can wear your clothes or whatever and I won't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with. Besides, it's not like you haven't seen all of this before, in better lighting as well. Now come on, the water is great. Will you come in, please?"_

_Beca smiled as Chloe begged and slowly peeled her jeans and t-shirt off, stripping down to her underwear and sliding into the warm water. Once she got her hair wet and swam a lap or two under the stars, she looked over at Chloe and felt a little calmer when she noticed that the dark sky masked the fact that Chloe wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. The awkwardness dissipated and she found herself swimming towards Chloe, coming within inches of her body and just staring into her eyes that were shining in the dim light like ice. _

_Chloe pulled Beca a little closer and crashed her lips against the smaller girls', pushing her up against the side of the pool and stroking her back gently as she swallowed her light moans. They hadn't kissed like this since that night outside of the club and it felt amazing. Eventually they pulled apart to catch their breath and Chloe softly murmured "Wow, that was so hot! You should work on your music more often, it must wind you up or something. I'm so glad that you decided to come in with me."_

_Beca simply nodded and couldn't stop her gaze from drifting down to the water, staring at Chloe's nude body as the water distorted it and choking back another moan. She had it memorized from their night in the shower together, but this was different and there was something about the darkness and the stars and the water that made it seem so much better. She could definitely get used to this and kept staring until Chloe softly giggled and said "Hey perv, my eyes are up here. Do you like what you see?"_

_Beca nodded as her face flushed and Chloe got a little closer, taking Beca's hands in hers and guiding them towards her breasts. Beca breathed out anxiously and Chloe softly said "Touch me, Beca. I know you want to and it's okay."_

_As her hands crashed against Chloe's breasts and lingered there for an eternity, Beca felt a bolt of lightning go straight to her core and she whimpered before she pulled away. Chloe looked a little hurt as they separated and Beca said "I'm…I can't do this. I'm a v-virgin and I'm not ready. I'm sorry."_

_Chloe watched as the girl pulled herself out of the pool and ran inside the house, sighing as she realized that she had pushed the girl too far. She got out of the pool and followed her into the house, grabbing a bathrobe on the way to their bedroom and wrapping it around her body as she stepped into the darkened room. She could see Beca lying on the bed and softly said "Bec, are you okay? It's nothing to be embarrassed about and I don't care if you've had sex or not. That doesn't matter to me and I would never get angry with you or treat you differently because of it. I'm glad that you told me, I just wish it would have been before I made you touch my boobs. That…that was a mistake and I'm sorry."_

_Beca sat up on the bed and said "Don't be sorry, I liked it and I wanted more but…I'm not ready yet. I love you and I want to be with you, but not until it feels right. I'm sorry if that's disappointing for you or not what you expected. Believe me, I never expected to be a virgin in college, but here I am."_

_Chloe smiled as she sunk onto the bed next to her and said "You know, that's not a big deal. I was a virgin when I came to college too and no one cared. My first time was awful and painful and I wished that I didn't waste it on some loser that I met at a frat party. I'm glad that you told me and I'm going to make your first time perfect, when you're ready. Plus, I've never been with a girl before outside of just kissing and I'm kind of like a virgin too. We'll be each other's first and I'll wait until you're ready. Now, come over here and kiss me. That was so hot out there and you deserve a kiss for the way you were staring at me."_

* * *

Beca stared at Chloe from the coffee table and said "T-touch you? Why?"

Chloe grinned back at her and said "Because you can't do something like this for me and expect me not to want to jump your bones. I want to make love to you and I know you're scared, but I'm not and I'm ready for you. It's been four months and…I just want to feel you again. Take off your clothes, please?"

Beca looked down at the floor and said "I don't want to hurt you. I can't hurt you again and I'm…I'm afraid of bringing you more pain. Promise me that it won't hurt and that you'll be fine."

Chloe took Beca's hands in hers and slid them to her skimpy shorts, threading their fingers over the elastic waistband and pulling them and her underwear down to her feet where Chloe daintily kicked them off. Chloe then slid her tank top off and said "You can't hurt me, at least not on purpose. I want your hands on me and your fingers and your mouth to drive me insane. I can't wait any longer and I know you can't either, so take your clothes off and lay here with me and just touch me. I've been waiting to break in this couch since we got it and this is the first time that we've had the apartment to ourselves in months and I want to do this."

Beca still felt conflicted and softly said "I'm scared, Chlo. Let me just focus on you first and let me take care of everything. Just lie back and close your eyes and give me this. Let me see that I can touch you without hurting you and then we can do anything you want together, but I need this first. Okay?"

Chloe's eyes became impossibly darker as Beca's hands slid down her naked body and she just nodded as Beca took her to heaven in a few brief, but pleasurable minutes. When Chloe expressed nothing but joy at the high courtesy of Beca's talented hands, Beca finally allowed herself to relax and frantically stripped down and made love to her girlfriend like their lives depended on it.

Over the twenty minutes that they touched each other and their bodies moved together, they felt like one again and like nothing had happened to pull them apart over the last few months. They felt normal again and laid together in silence for a while, just holding and touching each other as they came down from their highs and just enjoyed the pleasure that came from being in love and making love again.

* * *

After their rendezvous on the couch, the girls moved to the bedroom for another round and then laid together in a comfortable silence for a while, both content to just listen to each other breathe as the night slowly slipped away. They had laid there for twenty minutes before Chloe couldn't hold back any longer and softly said "Bec, could you tell me more about your grandfather? He sounds like he really meant a lot to you and you've never mentioned him before. Could you talk about him a little?"

Beca felt her eyes become a little teary as she thought about her grandfather and after a few silent moments, she said "Um…only if you go first. I can't talk about him without getting sad and I just want to enjoy this for a little longer. Tell me a secret, something that I don't know about you. It'll relax me before I talk about him."

Chloe propped herself up on her elbow and thought for a moment before she said "I thought the sex was supposed to relax you, but I get it and I'll go first. Um, I'm not a natural redhead. I know I look sexy and rock this color, but it's not real. Is your mind blown?"

Beca smiled as she let her gaze drift towards the apex of Chloe's thighs and she softly said "I already knew that, Blondie! That's not a real secret and you know it. Tell me about when you were a teenager. You never talk about what you were like before Barden and I want to know. Were you a slut in high school? Is that why you dyed your hair red?"

Chloe shoved her gently and said "No, I was not a slut! I resent that comment, Beca Mitchell. I was actually kind of a nerd before college. I didn't have a lot of friends back in high school and it didn't help that we moved halfway through my senior year. Um…I guess I can tell you why I dyed my hair. Is that good enough for you?"

Beca nodded and Chloe said "My mom's big sister was the perfect aunt. She was successful and smart and single and completely self-sufficient. She didn't need a man to provide for her and she was just really cool. I looked up to her and loved her and I would spend weekends at her apartment in the city, just talking and ordering fancy takeout and watching movies. She was everything that I ever wanted to be and I loved her so much. She was my favorite person in the world and she was the first person to call me bug. Her nickname for me was ladybug, hence the tattoo on my wrist…"

Beca heard Chloe's voice crack with emotion and stroked her bare arms gently, lingering on the tattoo with her fingers, before she softly said "She sounds amazing. What's her name?"

Chloe smiled sadly and said "Her name was Claire. One night she was walking back to her apartment and this guy mugged her and shot her and she died. I was only sixteen and it devastated me. I had never had anyone close to me die before and I…I didn't know how to handle it. I shut down completely and started to rebel and I pushed away my mom and my step-dad and all of my friends. I was drinking and smoking and cutting class and falling apart. I had no one and I liked it that way because I wouldn't get hurt."

Beca nodded and said "That sounds familiar. I guess that like me, you realized that doing that isn't an effective coping mechanism."

Chloe laughed lightly and said "Something like that. My aunt had gorgeous red hair and I dyed mine to look like her since everyone called me her twin. My mom got upset when she saw what I did and it hurt her to see me because I looked so much like Aunt Claire. We had a huge fight and we just screamed at each other and it was awful. My step-dad had to eventually pull us apart and when they left me alone, I packed a bag and left. I went to the train station and just sat there, watching the people and the trains leave and I couldn't move. I didn't know where to go or what to do and I just cried for hours. Eventually my step-dad found me and took me home and just held me and my mom did too and I just fell completely apart. I didn't want to live anymore because I didn't know how to and I admitted to them that I had thought about suicide and they made me see a psychologist for a long time until I eventually got better. I've kept the red hair and a part of her inside of me, but I've lost those demons and I'm okay now. I can think about her without crying and up until this accident, I was able to cope. That's part of the reason that I wasn't ready to see a counselor, because I was scared of opening up these old wounds. I'm okay though and I feel better and I think she would be proud of me."

Beca smiled and said "I'm sure she would be proud of you too. I'm glad that you're feeling better and I'm glad that you're still seeing someone that makes you feel good again. I'm proud of you and I love you."

Chloe smiled and said "I love you too. Now, tell me a secret. I opened up to you and now it's your turn. I won't judge you, so tell me anything."

Beca looked down at her hands and desperately wanted to tell Chloe about her grandfather, but couldn't bring herself to open up. Opening up would mean letting her guard down and that couldn't happen. She wouldn't let it happen and she felt terrible as she watched Chloe staring back at her anxiously. Chloe had opened up and told her something painful, but she couldn't return that to her and it made her feel bad. She knew it would hurt Chloe but she gently cleared her throat and said "Um…I've never actually listened to those records that I have in my dorm room. I found them at a garage sale and brought them with me so my roommate would think I was edgy and cool. That's kind of dorky, isn't it?"

Chloe rolled her eyes as the smile left her face and she said "Come on Bec, don't do this to me. For once, just be serious and talk to me like a real person…like someone that you love instead of someone that you just tolerate. I've never told anyone about wanting to kill myself, not even Aubrey, and that was the worst time of my life and all you can tell me is some stupid story about records. How is that supposed to make me feel? I know how hurt you are from that divorce, but you won't tell me anything about it or what you went through. Do you not trust me enough?"

Beca shook her head as her eyes became teary and she murmured "No, that's not true. I'm sorry that I can't open up to you and it's just really hard. Please, try to understand."

Chloe just frowned and said "It's not hard when you have someone that loves you here to listen to whatever you have to say. Just give me something, anything! Tell me one thing about the divorce. Tell me one time that your dad let you down or your mom shut you out or when you felt alone or scared. Just tell me…give me one thing to let me know that you trust me and love me enough to talk to me."

Beca just stared down at her feet and Chloe's voice quivered with unshed tears as she softly said "You know, you're not the only person with daddy issues. If you'd look at me and Bree, you'd see that you're not alone and that you have a whole support system here. I just…I can't deal with this right now. I opened up to you and the only thing you can do is stare at your feet. My heart…I wish you knew what you do to me when you act like this. It hurts, Beca! It feels like you're ripping me apart and I can't…"

She trailed off and Beca said "I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I can't give you some big teary story about my life and expect it to make me feel better. I'm not like you and that's just the way it is. You've been okay with it up until now, what's the big deal?"

Chloe glared at Beca and said "My big teary story was about someone that I loved and that I can actually talk about without shutting you out of it. You can tell me about a tattoo, but you can't give me a story about your grandfather and that's sad. I just…I can't be the only one to ever talk about things. I can't understand why you hurt or what's bothering you unless you open up and tell me. Why can't you give me anything? Just talk to me!"

Beca shook her head as tears clogged her throat and as she hurriedly put her clothes back on she said "I don't have to take this from you. I love you and that should be enough, but it isn't and I guess I understand why you're mad but it's not going to change. This is who I am and I'm sorry if it hurts you and breaks your heart. I'm sorry that I hurt you tonight and now I'm going home. I'll call you whenever."

Beca started to leave and Chloe ran after her, trying to grab her before she left the apartment. As Beca stepped through the front door, Chloe started to cry and said "Beca, don't go! You can't just leave; we have to talk about this. Please, just stay and we'll work this out."

Beca just shook her head and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind her and leaving Chloe alone and sobbing as she slid to the floor and cried into her knees. She had opened up her heart to Beca and now it felt like it had been completely ripped apart. How could the person she was supposed to be in love with just brush her off and shut her out? She had thought that they were past that a long time ago, but evidently she was wrong and it hurt more than anything she had ever known before. Her heart was broken and Beca was gone and she had no idea how to get her back or to help her feel better or to make things right again. What would she do without Beca?

* * *

**In other news, I'm going to start working on another fic to write concurrently with this current saga. Since you liked this enough to read it or follow it, I thought you could have some input on the one I choose. There are three that I'm interested in and I'm going to do them all, but I'm not sure which one to work on first. If you have one you like, leave it in a review or message me and I'll take it into consideration (I came up with all of these and hopefully they don't suck, which would suck...). **

**1. _Aubrey Knows__- One-shot centered around Aubrey as she watches Chloe fall in love with Beca and has her own heart broken from unsaid feelings for her best friend._**

**_2. I Knew I Like You...(Because I Wanted To Make You A Mixed CD)- One-shot where Chloe makes Beca a CD and Beca misplaces it, but falls in love again months later when she finds it and listens the whole way through_**

**_3. Ten Things I Hate About Chloe Beale- A short series where Beca makes a list of things she hates about Chloe when she finds herself falling in love with her friend and needs reminders to deter herself from giving in. She never planned on Chloe finding the list though..._**


	7. Change My Needs

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I'm really going to try to get better at this updating thing. I planned all weekend to update this, so of course I wait until 3 a.m. on Monday to do it when I have to get up in four hours for work. Anyway, thank you for the feedback from last chapter and I was so glad to see that everyone wanted me to write _Ten Things I Hate About Chloe Beale_. That idea is my baby and I can't wait to start on it.**

**Back to the story, these next two chapters are going to be the bridge to the final two chapters of this story. Chapters nine and ten are where the "action" is, but to get there I have to break them down a little more. This is a lot of dialogue and flashbacks, but something important happens in this chapter and it's going to effect the rest of the story. It's a tiny thing, but it's the whole basis of the final part in this series. I don't want to get ahead of myself though, so I hope you enjoy chapter seven!**

**FYI: The italicized parts are flashbacks (sorry for any confusion if you read this before this note)**

* * *

_I never meant to say you were a thorn in either side,_  
_It was a side effect from the scars on the forty-fives._  
_And as the vinyl sticks, it reminds me of what we have,_  
_Despite the things you do, you know I'm a fool for you.**  
**_

_-Change My Needs (Scars on 45)_

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Change My Needs**

Chloe sat in the living room of her apartment, flipping through flashcards for her immunology class and sulking into a bowl of ice cream. This wasn't how she had wanted to spend her evening, but she had to stay caught up in this class and it wasn't like she had someone to go out with. She and Beca hadn't talked to each other in a week and while she tried to let on that it didn't bother her, it hurt that the girl hadn't called her or dropped by or at least sent a text. To be honest though, she hadn't done any of those things either and wasn't planning on it. **She **had been the injured party in their argument and she had the right to be hurt and she wasn't going to budge…for now.

As she loaded up her spoon with her rocky road ice cream, she heard Aubrey enter the room and dropped the spoon into the bowl with a loud clanging noise. Aubrey smirked at her and said "Drowning your sorrows again? That's your third carton this week and if this keeps up, you're not going to fit in your clothes when you actually decide to fix this thing with Beca. Have you even talked to her yet?"

Chloe shook her head silently as she ate the spoonful of ice cream to spite Aubrey and didn't elaborate any further. Aubrey thought that the whole argument was stupid and couldn't understand how they had gone this long without talking. You didn't do this when you were in love and if Chloe cared about Beca as much as she said that she did, then it was silly that she hadn't contacted her yet.

Aubrey sunk onto the coffee table across from Chloe and said "You know this is silly, right? I know that you miss her and I've heard you crying about her at night. This is hurting you and Beca's hurting too and it's so dumb, Chlo. She hurt you and said things that she didn't mean, but you have to let it go and fix this. I'm tired to seeing you this upset and secretly, I've kind of missed having the _Hobbit_ around here. I was just starting to like her and you had to have a fight with her. How dare you, Chloe Beale?"

Chloe allowed herself to smile at Aubrey's playful tone and said "Don't call her that, Aubrey. I hate that nickname and she can't help that she's tiny. I haven't talked to her Bree and I…I miss her so much. I didn't think that a week apart would feel like this but…she **hurt** me and it hurts that she hasn't done anything to make this better between us. It's like she's waiting for me to make the first move and I know that she's like that, but it still makes my heart ache. What do I do, Bree?"

Aubrey moved from the coffee table to the couch and took the bowl out of Chloe's hands, placing it on the table and just glaring at Chloe when she started to protest. Chloe didn't say a word as Aubrey gave her a look and Aubrey took Chloe's hand in hers and softly said "First of all, eating that isn't going to make you feel better. Secondly, the thing you do is actually talk about this. First to me and then to Beca. I know it hurts that she's not like you and doesn't feel comfortable making the first move, but you love her and sometimes when you care about someone you have to do stuff that sucks."

Chloe looked down at her hands and said "I just wish there was a way for me to make her feel more comfortable. She can't open up to me about anything and we've been together for almost a year. Don't you think that's really bad? We've been dating for ten months and she can't tell me anything personal about herself or her past. What kind of girlfriend am I?"

Aubrey stroked Chloe's hair gently as she started to get emotional and said "A good one. She can't open up and you haven't run from her. You've stuck by her side and that means something. Not everyone is like you Chloe, in fact most people aren't nearly as open as you are, but that's okay. Being in a relationship is about compromising and you're good at talking and she's good at other stuff…nothing that I can name right now, but probably a lot of things."

It was Chloe's turn to glare at Aubrey again and Aubrey said "I'm kidding, jeez. Anyway, you have to take the reins with this one. Call her and talk to her and make the first move. It's going to hurt, but she's a work in progress and it's not worth giving up on her just to prove a point. Give her some time and I guarantee that she'll open up to you, but you can't just quit on her. Okay?"

Chloe smiled gently and said "Yeah, you're right. How did you get to be so smart and why are you defending Beca all of a sudden? You've never done that before and maybe you actually care about her now. You've grown, Aubrey."

Aubrey just shook her head and said "I let her live with me for a month and I visited her every day when she was in the hospital, so I think I care about her. She's my friend and I never thought that I would say that, but here I am and you can make fun of me as much as you want. That doesn't change the fact that you're my person and I care about you and I don't want you to get hurt. Besides, when I first started at Barden, I was as closed off as Beca is and I had this roommate that pulled me out of my shell and never gave up on me. You stuck by me when I was a massive bitch and a terror to live with and I know that you can do it with Beca too. Don't let her go, because you'll regret it for the rest of your life and you deserve to be with someone that loves you as much as she does. Fix this, Chloe, before she gets the wrong idea and you lose her forever."

Chloe nodded and said "You're right and I'll call her. I'll tell her how I feel and talk to her about how we can fix things. I have to be the bigger person here and thank you for making me realize that. I love you, Aubrey, and I'm so glad that you were my first roommate. I have no regrets from that year and sticking by you was the best thing I ever did."

Aubrey smiled as she stood up from the couch and said "Stop, before you make me cry and I have to re-do my makeup. I'm going over to Jesse's, but I'll see you later and if you didn't call her by the time I get back…I'll call her myself and you don't want her to talk to the ice queen. Good night, Chloe."

She approached the door and opened it, but froze in the doorway and looked back at Chloe. The girl had started to flip through her flashcards again and Aubrey softly said "Chloe?" Chloe looked up at her and Aubrey said "It it means anything, I think you'll both be okay. You need to fight for her Chloe and I know it hurts, but don't give up on her. I love you and I just want you to be happy, so do what you think is right."

* * *

_Aubrey slid her key into the hotel door and fumbled with the handle as it popped open. In one arm she was holding the ICCA trophy and in the other was a full bottle of champagne that she had swiped off of Cynthia Rose. She had no idea how the girl had come into possession of five bottles of champagne, especially when she was underage, but declared executive power and took one to enjoy with her co-captain Chloe. Chloe had run off after they were awarded the trophy and Aubrey had no idea where she had gone, but had a feeling that she was in their room. _

_As she stepped into the darkened room, she could hear crying coming from the bedroom and flipped on the first light that she found. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw Chloe laying on the bed and felt her heart skip a beat as she took in the sight of her best friend falling apart. She was lying on her stomach and sobbing into a pillow, still in her outfit from their performance, as if her heart had been broken. Aubrey put the trophy on the small table in the room and softly said "Chlo, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself during the performance? Are you sick? Is it your throat?"_

_Chloe didn't respond and waited a moment before slowly turning over and facing Aubrey. Her face was covered in streaky mascara from her crying spell and her hair was disheveled and hung in heavy waves, framing her pale face and making her look younger than she actually was. Chloe's lip quivered when she saw Aubrey standing there panicking and she clutched her pillow to her chest as she said "She kissed him, Bree."_

_Chloe broke down into heavy sobs and Aubrey made a small choking noise as she crossed the room quickly and sunk onto the bed next to her friend. As she thought back to their performance, she remembered how Chloe seemed to sink into the shadows of the stage as Beca walked up to Jesse and kissed him in front of everyone. It was no secret that Chloe had a crush on Beca and seeing her kiss him must have hurt. From the looks of Chloe breaking down in front of her now though, it was more than just a crush and she was taking it hard. _

_Aubrey pulled Chloe into her arms and held her tightly, stroking her hair and rubbing her back as she cried into her chest. All thoughts of partying instantly left her mind and all she cared about was making her feel better. After everything that she had put Chloe through over the past few months, she __**owed **__her this and was intent on paying in full. _

_After a few minutes, Chloe calmed down a little and pulled away from Aubrey, wiping her wet face with the back of her hand and frowning at the wet patch on Aubrey's jacket from her crying into her chest. She pushed her hair out of her face and said "I'm sorry for crying on you. You should be down at Amy's room at the party, not sitting in here with me and watching me cry. You can leave, you know?"_

_Aubrey shook her head and said "I've been to a million dumb parties and they're all the same. This is different and you're my best friend and you're hurting. I would never leave you when you're not feeling great and I'm going to sit here with you all night until you feel better. You really like her, don't you?"_

_Chloe just nodded as fresh tears flooded her eyes and Aubrey softly said "I'm sorry, Chloe. It must have hurt so much to see that tonight and I wish I could take that away, but I can't. What I __**can**__ do though is fetch us some fluffy bathrobes, cuddle in bed with you, and watch a cheesy movie on TV. I know it won't make the pain go away, but that's what I like to do when my heart is aching and maybe it'll help a little."_

_Chloe just nodded as she wiped her eyes and Aubrey got out of the bed to grab some bathrobes from the cupboard while Chloe turned on the television and started to search for something to watch. It didn't take long for her to settle on a channel, grinning to herself when she found a movie channel playing her favorite movie, Clueless. _

_Aubrey came back into the room and threw one of the bathrobes to Chloe, smiling when she saw what Chloe had put on. They had seen this movie a bunch of times and knew every line to it, but somehow the sight of Cher and Dionne driving to school in Cher's Jeep made everything feel a little better and their weary hearts hurt less. It felt like home and as Aubrey cuddled next to Chloe on the bed and pulled her into her arms, there was no place either girl wanted to be._

_They were about halfway through the movie when there was a knock at the door and Aubrey rose from the bed, telling a sleepy Chloe not to bother getting up, and walked over to the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see a worried looking Beca standing in front of her. Aubrey raised an eyebrow at the sight of the girl standing there and said "What do you want, Beca? Don't you have a party to be at right now?"_

_Beca shrugged and said "I should be asking you the same thing. Anyway, have you seen Chloe? I texted her a few times, but she hasn't replied and I haven't seen her since our performance. She looked kind of upset and I was just wondering if she was okay. Is she in there with you?"_

_She started to push past Aubrey to get into the room, but Aubrey stopped her and said "Yeah, she's in there but you're not coming in. She's not feeling too well and I don't think now is a great time. Go back to the party and I'll take care of her. She'll see you in the morning and you can talk to her then."_

_Beca raised an eyebrow and said "Could I please come in? I'm worried about her and I think that she might be mad at me. Let me talk to her, Aubrey. I won't stay long, I promise."_

_Aubrey simply shook her head and said "I told you, not tonight. We'll see you tomorrow." _

_As Beca started to protest, Aubrey slid the door shut and locked it before peering through the peephole and watching Beca stare up at the door for a few moment and then trudge down the hall towards her room. She wasn't going to the party and Aubrey felt a little bad for sending the girl away, but Chloe came first and she knew that Chloe wasn't in any shape to have a conversation with Beca where she wouldn't embarrass herself. She needed to calm down before she talked to her and Aubrey wasn't letting her look like a fool or screw up any chance of potentially having a relationship with the freshman. _

_As she walked back over to the bed, she felt a little better as Chloe flashed her a thankful smile. Aubrey just nodded back and got back on the bed, grabbing the blankets and pulling them over their bodies as they continued to watch the movie. _

_Chloe started to fall asleep a few minutes later but before she let herself drift away, she softly said "Bree, why do you care so much? You don't even like Beca and you could have let her come in here and have me yell at her because I'm upset right now. You didn't though and I don't know why."_

_Aubrey sighed and said "I love you and I want you to be happy. I haven't been a good friend to you this year and I'm willing to give up on my dislike of Beca if it'll make you like me again."_

_Chloe reached out for Aubrey's hand and said "You never stopped being my best friend. It just…it got difficult along the way but I never stopped caring for you or being your friend."_

_Aubrey smiled and said "Well, as your best friend, I'm going to be protective of you and I don't want you to get hurt by anyone. I never liked Tom and while Beca annoys the hell out of me, she would never hurt you. I know that she kissed Jesse, but I also know that she has feelings for you. I don't even have that good of gaydar and I can see it, just like the rest of the Bellas have. Give her time to realize her mistake and everything will be okay. If not, she's the idiot for not seeing who she's missing out on."_

_Chloe managed a small smile and leaned closer to Aubrey, closing her eyes as she softly said "Maybe you're right, Bree."_

* * *

Chloe put her flashcards on the coffee table and reached out for her cell phone, dialing Beca's number and holding it to her ear as it rang several times. After a few moments, Beca picked up and Chloe said "Hey, it's me. I haven't heard from you in a while and I was just wondering if we were okay. Regionals are in two days and I was supposed to ride up with you guys on the bus. Do you still want me to come?"

Beca smiled on the other end and said "Yeah, I still want you to come. You're my good luck charm and we need you there. I…I need you there. I'm sorry that I haven't talked to you in a few days, I just needed some space but I'm okay now. I'm actually in the middle of rehearsals right now, so could I call you back once we're done. I swear I'm not blowing you off, we just really need to nail down our routine."

Chloe frowned, not hearing the other girls or music in the background, and said "Yeah, that's fine. Call me back later. Bye, Beca."

As Chloe hung up, she couldn't help but feel that something was off. She had never been at a rehearsal that was so quiet and while Beca could have taken her phone outside to talk, she highly doubted it. She didn't want to imagine that she was being lied to, but it was a possibility and it tore her stomach apart as she went back to studying.

Two hours later, Chloe found herself almost falling asleep on her textbook when her cell phone rang and startled her out of her stupor. The book fell off of her chest and hit the floor as she reached out for her phone and answered it blindly, putting it to her ear as she groggily said "Hello?"

The voice on the other end faltered, but after a moment said "Chloe? Are you awake? It's Dad and I wanted to talk to you, but if you're asleep then I'll call back."

Chloe frowned as she pulled herself into a sitting position and said "Um, no I'm awake. I've just been studying for a class, but I can talk. What's going on? Is everything okay?"

On the other end, Anthony nodded and said "Yeah, everything is great. I'm actually going to be in town on Saturday for a business meeting and wanted to see you. I'm meeting with my client in the afternoon but I'm going to have the evening free and thought that we could maybe get some dinner and catch up. I haven't talked to you since November and I probably missed a lot, so it could be nice to talk in person. Can you make it?"

Chloe's face flushed with anger and she softly said "Um…I actually have other plans for Saturday. It's regionals for the Bellas and I'm driving with them to South Carolina to watch them compete. I'm sorry that I can't make it, but they've been working for this all year and I have to go."

Anthony sighed and said "I understand, but I don't get much time off and this is probably the only time this year that I'm going to be in Atlanta. I really wanted to see you, Chloe. Do you think maybe you could reconsider? You've been to this regional thing before and maybe you could miss this time."

Chloe shook her head as angry tears filled her eyes and she said "I can't, Dad. Beca worked really hard for this and I want to be there to support her. I love her and I can't let her down like that. Besides, what makes this visit any different from the rest of them? Why should I give up on something important for **you**? Is it because I nearly _died _a few months ago? Is that supposed to change things? If so, it hasn't changed how often you call me or e-mail me or just check in on me. Do you know anything about what I've been through since that accident?"

Anthony frowned and said "Chloe, I'm trying to be a father to you by meeting you this weekend. I'm just…I'm not good at this parenting thing and I need you to cut me some slack. I'm on the phone now, tell me what's been going on. "

Chloe shook her head as the tears filled her throat and she said "I can't right now, dad. I'm in the middle of studying and I have to focus because this class is killing me. If you want to know, call mom and she'll fill you in like always. I don't have time for this right now and I'm sorry about Saturday, but I have to go."

Anthony nodded and said "I get it Chloe and I understand. I'll talk to your mom and piece things together. I just hope that you're feeling better than the last time that I saw you and maybe some weekend you could fly up to New York and visit me, my treat. I'll take a rain check for this dinner and we'll do it some other time. I love you, kiddo."

As he hung up, Chloe turned her phone off and flung it onto the table as she broke down into tears. Her father wanted nothing to do with her any other time, but conveniently wanted to be in her life when she had other plans. He had made her feel guilty and it hurt to deal with that on top of everything else. She wanted to meet with her dad, but Beca and her friends were more important and he would have to understand that. It had been nice of him to offer to meet her some other time, but she knew it would be forgotten as he slipped back into his meetings and traveling and disregarded the fact that he had a child. There would be no dinner or trip to New York or a phone call to her mother to check in on her. She was nothing to him when it wasn't convenient and it made her heart ache as the tears kept coming. All she wanted was Beca's arms to hold her and her soothing voice to talk her down from the edge, but she didn't even have that and it made everything hurt a little more as she curled up on the couch and cried into a throw pillow. Why did things always have to be so hard?

* * *

It was Saturday evening and the Bellas were celebrating with the Treblemakers, both groups having made it through to the next round of competition in a month. The Bellas had performed their Taylor Swift mash up from SBTs and killed it, taking first place and getting a standing ovation from the crowd. When they collected their trophy, there was no confrontation with the Trebles in the auditorium and in fact, they agreed to throw a joint party at the outdoor theatre on campus. All of the students pooled their money to buy alcohol and had been partying down there all night, dancing and drinking and just celebrating their joint victory.

While the Bellas celebrated, things were a little awkward between Chloe and Beca and it was distracting them all. They were putting on an act with strained conversation and lingering glances, but everyone could tell that something was wrong and it had put a damper on the evening. Chloe wanted to go home, but Aubrey wasn't ready to leave yet and they had driven there together. Chloe would have been happy to call a cab, but Aubrey had been drinking and she couldn't risk leaving the girl there to drive herself back home.

As Chloe sat by herself and played with her phone, Beca walked up to her and smiled at her girlfriend before kneeling in front of her and grasping her hands. Chloe's phone clattered to the ground and Beca picked it up before she said "Sorry 'bout that. Do you want to get out of here with me? Maybe go some place a little more private."

Chloe smiled and said "Sorry, but I can't. I'd love to go with you, but I'm on Aubrey-watch tonight and I can't leave her here. You can come home with us though and spend the night if you want. We could talk and maybe figure out what's going on between us. What do you think?"

Beca just shrugged and leaned forward to kiss Chloe, their lips almost meeting before Chloe pulled back and Beca fell forward into her lap. Beca glared up at her and said "What are you doing? You want to go someplace private with me, but you don't want to kiss me?! Am I only good for you when we're having sex now?"

Chloe rose to her feet and said "No, you're not good for me when you've been drinking! I'm not going to kiss you when all I can taste is cheap punch and alcohol. I guess we won't be talking about anything and that's fine. Call me when you grow up."

As Chloe stomped away from her, Beca sighed in frustration and pulled herself to her feet. She was a little wobbly, but had only had a few drinks and didn't understand what the big deal was. **She **had tried to make things better instead of sulking around all night and looking miserable and this was the thanks that she got. She was sick of the drama between her and Chloe and marched over to the coolers of alcohol with one thought on her mind: Forgetting about Chloe Beale.

After an hour and four drinks, Beca did just that as she found herself throwing up in the bushes surrounding the theatre. She had drank way too much in the short period of time and her stomach was going crazy as she kneeled on the ground and tried to keep her cool. She hated to get sick and just wanted to go back to her bed, but knew she would never be able to get back there alone. As another wave of nausea coursed through her body, she was surprised when cool hands gathered her hair away from her face and pulled it back as she threw up into the bushes for the third time.

Once her stomach calmed down, Beca looked back and jumped when she saw Aubrey crouching behind her with an uneasy smile on her face. Beca sunk to the ground and said "What are _you _doing here? Of all the people to see me like this, it had to be you. I'm surprised that you haven't strangled me yet. You had the prime opportunity to do it and you missed out on putting me out of misery. It wouldn't have been that bad of a choice, considering how much I've screwed things up with Chloe. Just do it for me now before she does it herself."

Aubrey shook her head as she passed Beca a bottle of water and said "Take it easy with that. Drink it slowly or you're going to be sick again. I'm not going to take sides in this thing because both of you are my friends, but what the hell are you doing Beca? Why would you get drunk like this and leave her alone in there? She wanted to talk to you and instead you decided to get wasted. How do you think that's going to make her feel?"

Beca wiped her sweaty face off with the back of her hand and said "Like shit. What's wrong with me, Aubrey? Why am I self-destructing like this? I have the best girlfriend anyone could ask for and I'm screwing up and wasting it. I'm going to lose her and I don't know how to stop. What do I do?"

Aubrey just shrugged and said "You need to talk to her and sort this out. Don't tell _me_ this, tell **her**. I got you a wet washcloth and you should wipe that mess off of your face before I take you back to Chloe. Let's go."

The two girls walked in silence back to the party, which had since died down, and Chloe rushed up to them with panic written on her face. She grabbed Beca's arm comfortingly and said "Where did you find her? I've been looking all over the place for her and I got really worried. Are you okay?"

Beca didn't say anything and Aubrey softly said "She's had a little too much to drink. I'm going to crash over at Cynthia Rose and Stacie's room tonight, so I'll see you in the morning. Take her back to her room and maybe the walk will sober her up a little. Good night, guys."

Aubrey walked away and Chloe wrapped her arm around Beca's back, letting the smaller girl lean against her body as they walked out of the theatre and back to Beca's dorm room. They didn't say much along the way and let their loud footsteps against the pavement provide the soundtrack for their stroll.

After a few minutes had passed, Beca couldn't take the quiet any longer and softly said "Chloe, do you hate me?"

* * *

_As the girls walked back to their dorm rooms in a comfortable silence after their successful rehearsal down in the pool, Beca couldn't help herself as she said "Do you hate me? I don't blame you if you do, I just have to know."_

_Chloe scoffed at her question and said "Of course I don't hate you. What would ever give you that idea?"_

_Beca looked down at her scuffed boots and said "You didn't tell me about your surgery. I thought we were good friends and I just figured that you would tell me something like that. I would have been there for you if you would have told me and you wouldn't have been alone. You know that, right?"_

_Chloe nodded and said "Yeah, I know. I wasn't alone though, my parents were there and it was okay. I didn't tell you guys because I was scared about what would happen to my voice and I didn't want to put that burden on any of you. It was easier to just slip away from the Bellas because I didn't think we would ever sing together again. I wish I would have told you, but it was easier to just be alone. Do you get that?"_

_Beca nodded and said "Sure, I'm the queen of pushing people away so I'll give you a pass on this one. I'm glad that you're alright though and I'm glad that we're singing together again. It's going to be different this time, Chlo. We can be good and we're going to win."_

_Chloe just smiled and didn't say a word as they walked a little closer to keep warm in the cool night. After a little while, Chloe broke the silence when she said "Beca, I'm sorry for not defending you when we lost at sectionals. Aubrey was wrong with what she said to you and I __**wanted**__ to stand up for you, but I just couldn't. When um…when I sang on the bus, I just wanted to make you guys a little more comfortable and to cheer everyone up. I knew you were all nervous and Aubrey was making things so hard, so I did the only thing I could think of. When we were watching the Footnotes though, my throat hurt like you wouldn't believe and I knew…I figured out then that I had blown it and would need the operation. I barely got through my solos and when she attacked you, I was just…I was over all of it and just wanted to go home and forget about that night. I was angry at myself for singing when I should have been resting my voice and for performing at all and I just couldn't bring myself to fight with her again. I'm so sorry that I let you just run away and I __**should**__ have followed you, but I just wanted to be alone. I hope you can forgive me."_

_Beca just reached out for Chloe's hand and said "I didn't know that and I'm sorry that you were in pain. I was never really mad at you and you don't have to apologize, but I appreciate it anyway. I'm just glad that it's all over and we have one more chance."_

_They had reached Beca's dorm and Chloe softly said "I guess this is your stop. Hey, could you answer something for me before you head in? Why did you pick Just A Dream to sing tonight? I get why Aubrey would pick her song, but I never pegged you as a Nelly fan."_

_Beca smiled and said "Um, I just like that song a lot. Over break I kind of realized that I could never have this person that I really like and I listened to that song a bunch of times. It worked pretty well though, so my heart break served a purpose."_

_Chloe patted her shoulder gently, figuring that she was talking about Jesse and feeling badly because she knew that things were strained between them. That was partly her fault and she wished that she could help Beca fix it, but it would hurt her own heart too much to be the bigger person. _

_Chloe did the one thing that she felt could help both of them though and pulled Beca in for a hug, holding her for a few long seconds until they pulled apart and stared at each other. Beca looked like she had something that she wanted to say and Chloe waited for her to open her mouth, but Beca just shook her head and said good night before heading into her building and leaving Chloe alone in the night. _

* * *

Chloe shook her head at Beca's words and said "Bec, I could never hate you. I love you and you could never do anything to change that. Why would you think that? Did I do something to make you feel that way?"

Beca shook her head and said "No, but I haven't been a good girlfriend and I wouldn't blame you if you did. You deserve better than what I'm giving you and I'm sorry for the other night and not being able to open up to you. I wanted to, but sometimes…it's just hard for me to open up and I'm working on it. I hope you can wait for me to get there and when I do, I'll tell you everything about my grandfather and anything else you want to know. I also um…I was out of line with what I said about your story. I know that you loved your aunt and to dismiss what you said like that was pretty dumb of me and I'm really sorry. I'm so happy that you came with us and you were the only thing keeping me calm up there on that stage and I don't deserve it. I'm so sorry, Chlo."

Chloe just smiled and said "I wouldn't have missed your performance for anything. You guys were great and I can't wait for sectionals. I appreciate your apology too and I accept it. Opening up wasn't easy for me and it hurt when you said that, but it was…it's hard for me too Beca. I understand where you're coming from and I just have to be more patient. I'll wait forever until you feel comfortable talking to me, but you have to give a little too. I can't do this all and I just…I don't want to lose you because you're shutting down on me. Okay? Just give me something, Beca, because you're breaking my heart and I…I just love you too much for that to happen."

Beca just nodded at Chloe's words and held her hand a little tighter as they walked towards her building. Neither of them said another word over the five minutes it took to reach her building, but in the silence Beca was fighting with her own thoughts and feelings. It hurt that Chloe was able to see through her so easily and while her words had been comforting, Beca wasn't sure if she would ever get to that place where she could easily talk about her feelings and past. She wanted to say something to Chloe, to give her the thing that she desired, but it was hard and like always she took the easy way out by staying silent.

Once they reached her dorm, Beca felt Chloe envelope her in a warm hug and they stood that way for a few minutes, just holding each other and trying to make things right again. Eventually Beca pulled away and stared up at Chloe's teary eyes, desperately trying to come up with the right thing to say to her.

After a moment, she reached out for Chloe's hands and squeezed them before she said "Are we really okay, Chloe? I know that you're trying so hard for me and it means a lot, but I haven't given you anything in return and it must hurt you. I just want you to know that I'm really going to try harder to be better and I'm going to make this up to you. I'm sorry that I'm so difficult to deal with and I know I can be a pain to be around and I appreciate that you care about me so much. I love you and I hope that you still love me."

Chloe squeezed her hands and said "I still love you, Beca. I'll tell you that as often as you need to hear it because it's not going to change for me. I have to go, but take care of yourself tonight and drink more water so you don't get a hangover. Good night, Beca."

Chloe walked away from the building and as Beca leaned back against the wall, she felt her eyes become teary at the realization that Chloe didn't kiss her. It had been their first goodbye without a kiss and it hurt knowing that she had been the cause of it. Chloe had tried again to make things better, but she had kept her mouth shut and pushed her away again. She could have said anything when Chloe had just asked for an affirmation that she had heard her words, but instead Beca had just stayed silent and that silence had done more damage than any words ever did. She knew that she had lost Chloe that night and it hurt more than anything before. Why did she keep pushing away the people that loved her?


	8. Across The Sea

**A/N: Only two chapters left but I think this kind of settles things down and sets up the story for the ending. I don't want to give much away, but there won't be any car crashes or cliffhangers this time. When I started this series, I intended the second part to be about loss and I intend to get to that in the last two chapters. So, expect emotional but not...over the top...but definitely sad which I enjoy writing...**

**Anyway, here's chapter eight and I hope you like it. Any feedback is appreciated and welcomed!**

* * *

_When you came to me, from across the sea_  
_I was lost, caught among the waves_  
_Then your steady hand led me to dry land_  
_And I knew, knew that I was safe _

_Across The Sea-Javier Dunn_

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Across The Sea**

* * *

It had been two weeks since Beca had talked to Chloe and as she sat at the table in the dining room of her father's home, she couldn't get her mind off of her girlfriend. Girlfriend...could she even still call Chloe that? That term of endearment was reserved for a person that you actually spent time with and since that hadn't happened since their non-kiss outside of her dorm room, she wasn't sure what to call Chloe. She couldn't call her friend since they weren't talking and ex-whatever felt far too overwhelming to even consider. She finally just settled on Chloe, no title or label, just her name and every emotion that it held as it tumbled off of her lips. The name of the one person that had captured her heart, held it in her hands, and threw it away like it was nothing.

A month ago, she thought that she would be spending her 20th birthday with Chloe and her friends, having a small party and eating cake as they celebrated with her. She never could have imagined that she would be here instead, sitting in an awkward silence with a barely touched piece of lasagna in front of her and the eyes of her father and step-mother glued to her. They had watched her the whole dinner and as she sat at the table with her eyes watching her lap, they knew that something was up. She hadn't touched her favorite meal at all and only responded with short answers whenever either of them asked her about Chloe, Barden, and The Bellas. Sheila had figured out early that it involved Chloe when the girl visibly flinched when her name was mentioned, but it was none of her business and as she cleared the dinner plates from the table she leaned down and whispered for Ben to talk to his daughter. They couldn't let her suffer like this on her birthday and Ben knew that while he wasn't his daughter's favorite person, she would still listen to whatever he said to her.

Once Sheila left the room, Ben pulled a wrapped gift off of the chair next to him and slid it across the table to Beca. Beca looked at it disinterestedly for a few moments and then sighed as she tore the wrapping paper off of the gift and exposed a new set of Sennheiser headphones underneath of it. They were expensive and her favorite, just what she had wanted since hers had stopped working a few weeks ago, and she tried to hide her smile but couldn't as it lit up her whole face and made her look alive for the first time the whole dinner. Beca ran her fingers over the packaging and read over the words as she softly said "Thank you, dad. They were just what I wanted and I'll use them as soon as I get home. How did you know?"

Ben smiled and said "I got a text from your girlfriend when your old pair broke. She suggested that I get you these and I went out the next day and picked them up. Speaking of your girlfriend, where is Chloe this evening? I hope that you invited her here since she's certainly welcome. We love her and you can bring her here whenever you want. Are you two having a fight?"

Beca's eyes got teary at the mere mention of Chloe's name and she sighed heavily before she said "Um… I haven't seen or heard from her in two weeks. We've been fighting over me and my issues and I think we're taking a break right now. She wished me Happy Birthday on _Facebook_, but that doesn't really mean anything when it's on there. I wanted to bring her to dinner and spend today with her, but she doesn't want to be around me and I really don't blame her."

Ben didn't know what to say to make his daughter feel any better and reached across the table and took one of her hands in his, holding it tightly as she fought back her tears. From the looks of it, she was definitely missing Chloe and hurting terribly and Ben just wanted to give her a big hug like he would do whenever she was younger and in pain. Scraped knees and broken hearts were wildly different things though and he knew that she would have to fight through this on her own.

After a few moments of squeezing her father's hand, she looked up at him and said "Dad, have I always been like this? Have I always pushed people away from me and kept to myself? There had to have been one time in my life when I was different and actually normal. Right?"

Ben sighed and said "You **are **normal, Beca. A lot of people find it difficult to talk about their pasts and to open up and you're just one of those types of people. When you were younger, your mom and I could barely get you to stop talking and we called you our little chatterbox. Once things started to get bad between us though, you shut down and I know that our divorce really affected you. You've been closed off ever since and if I could go back and make that better for you, I'd do it without question. You changed after all of that and it wasn't a good or a bad change, just something different. We shouldn't have put a child in the middle of our problems and it was never your fault and one day I hope that you can move on from it and open up again."

Beca looked up at her father as she brushed the tears out of her eyes and she said "What do I do, dad? I don't want to lose her, but I can't give her what she needs and that scares me. I can't give her the things that she expects in a relationship and if I fall for her, she'll just end up falling out of love with me eventually and I don't know if I can take that. I'm not strong enough for that and I love her too much to go through that. What should I do?"

Ben frowned and said "Beca, this is something that you have to decide on your own, but since you're asking I think you should try to fix things with Chloe. You love her and she cares about you and this is just one minor setback. After two people have gone through something like you guys went through with the accident, you're bonded for life and I don't think you should give up on her so easily. Fight for her, Bec. Fix this if you really care about her and want her back and don't use your past as an excuse to ruin your future. Okay?"

Beca nodded as Sheila entered the room with a small birthday cake and said "I'll try. I'll call her after my shift at the radio station tonight and I'll talk to her, but I can't control if she'll pick up the phone and I'll have to face whatever she decides to do. I'm just hoping that she chooses me."

Sheila placed the cake in front of Beca and lit the two candles on it as Ben killed the lights and both parents stared down as the lights illuminated Beca's face and made her looked impossibly young as she pondered what she would wish for. Ben couldn't believe that his baby was turning twenty and he had missed so much when he left her and moved across the country to be with Sheila and to work at this university. He had her now though and as she blew out the candles and managed a weak smile, the years that had passed didn't seem so daunting in his pursuit of a relationship with his girl.

Sheila cut the cake and offered a plate to Beca, but she insisted that she had to leave for work and asked for a rain check. Ben told her that it was okay and was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a brief hug. Once she pulled away a moment later, she thanked him quietly for the gift and left the house on a mission to repair things with Chloe. She had to at least give it a try and if she failed, at least she would know that she was able to fight for something.

* * *

Two hours later, Beca found herself slumped across the desk in the booth at the radio station, lining up songs in her queue as she kept looking down at her cell phone. She had texted Chloe when she got on campus, asking her if they could please talk, but hadn't heard back from her and was starting to get anxious. Her mood was reflected in her music and she found herself growing more and more depressed with each sad song that she played. She needed to get a grip and pull herself out of this slump, but she loved Chloe and the least she could do was send her back some kind of message. Their relationship had to have meant something to her and she had to give her something, some sign that she cared or wanted to try to fix things. Beca couldn't imagine the alternative and squeezed her eyes shut as her next song started to play and she desperately wanted to curl up on the oversized office chair and just drift away.

She was startled out of her reverie moments later though when her cell phone rang and she blindly answered it, putting it to her ear and murmuring "Chloe? Is this you?"

She felt her body tense a moment later when Jesse's familiar chuckles filled her ear and he said "No, it's your best bud calling to make sure that you're not killing yourself or something. We've been listening to your set all night and it's really bumming us out. Are you okay down there? I can come down there and sit with you if you want. I was joking before, but we're actually kind of worried about you. Is this about Chloe?"

Beca growled into the phone and said "I **don't **want to talk about her, especially with you. And what do you mean by "we"? Who are you with?"

Jesse sighed and said "I'm over at Aubrey's place. We have the station on the radio and even she is a little weirded out, so maybe you should try to cheer up. Think happy thoughts or something, since it is your birthday and that's supposed to be the best day of the year. What did your dad get you? Those new headphones that you wanted?"

Beca sighed and said "Can I talk to you later or some other time? I'm busy right now with this and I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now. I just want to mope and play emo music and get this night over with. Before you go though, is Chloe there? I texted her, but she hasn't called me back or anything so I thought that maybe she was out or something."

Beca could hear Aubrey calling for Jesse and he said "Um…no, she's definitely not here. I don't know where she went, but she left a little while ago. Hey, I have to go since my assistance is needed but please try to cheer up and enjoy the rest of your birthday. I hate imagining you sitting there all by yourself and sad, so play some dance music and cheer up! I'll talk to your later, Bec."

She was met by the dial tone a moment later and turned the phone off, shoving it across the desk with a heavy sigh as she loaded more music onto the queue and covered her face with her hands, trying desperately not to scream as she thought of Chloe spending the night with someone else.

She let her thoughts get the best of her and an hour later when her set list ended and she had to add some more music, she noticed that it was pouring outside and groaned at the realization that she had left her umbrella back at her dorm and didn't bring a jacket. She was leaving in a half hour and if this kept up, she would get soaked and that would be the cherry on top of what had already been an awful birthday.

As she listened to rain pinging off of the metal roof, she daydreamed again and nearly missed the sound of her phone receiving a text message. As she lazily reached for it and slid her finger across the screen of her iPhone to read it, her heart skipped a beat when she saw that it was from Chloe. It was a short message, but it was enough to send her out of her seat and running to the front door.

_I'm outside and I want to talk to you. Come let me in._

Beca bolted to the front of the studio and flung open the door, not caring that she was getting soaked as she stuck her head outside and searched for Chloe. She wasn't outside of the door though and Beca wrapped her arms around herself for warmth as she closed the door behind her and stepped outside to look for her. It didn't take long for her to spot the redhead running down the sidewalk towards her and she stood in front of the building as the rain came down in torrents and soaked her hair and her clothing.

Chloe stood in front of her a moment later and took Beca's hands in hers, holding them tightly and kissing the backs of them with her lips. Beca tried to keep calm as emotions surged through her body and Chloe could feel the girl trembling underneath her hands. As she moved them to her hips, she smiled up at Beca and said "Happy Birthday! I'm sorry I was so late, I just…I've had a lot to think about this evening and it took a while for me to swallow my pride and realize just what I want in my life. I can't do this anymore and I love you too much to let that stupid fight ruin everything. I couldn't stand another moment without you in my life and I should have been here two weeks ago to fix this, but sometimes the heart isn't as strong as the head and I'm sorry. I don't care if you can't open up to me or that you don't feel comfortable talking about your past. It took me this long to see that those things don't matter if I don't even have you in my life and I'll wait forever until you're ready to do those things and if you never can…then that's okay too. It's just…you're **my **girl and you're all I ever wanted and I couldn't imagine missing out on your birthday. I couldn't spent another night without you, so here I am soaking wet and ready for you to accept my apology and let me inside so I can just hold you and kiss you. Okay?"

Beca didn't say a word and just smiled as she shoved Chloe up against the brick wall of building and kissed her passionately as the rain poured down and made them impossibly wet and cold as they clung to each other. They stood that way for a few moments until Chloe pulled back a little and huskily said "We should probably get inside before we take this any further. I'm soaking wet and I want to be with you, but not on this street corner and not when I'm freezing! Come on, let's get out of these clothes and warm up."

Beca grinned at her and wrapped an arm around Chloe's back as she slid the door open and spun the lock shut once they got inside. As Chloe started to strip out of her soaking wet clothing, Beca cranked up the thermostat in the room and put a few more songs in her queue so they could spend some uninterrupted time together.

As she spun away from the desk to get undressed, she was met with Chloe's naked body standing behind her wrapped in a blanket that she had found in the lounge. Beca had never seen anything more beautiful and shoved Chloe against the desk, kissing her fiercely as she slid her own clothing off and then joined her under the blanket. As she pressed Chloe against the desk and allowed her hands to slide down her body, she kissed her way from Chloe's lips to her ear and softly said "Luke always said no sex on the desk. Thank God that he's not here right now!"

That was all it took for Chloe to pull them both onto the desk and for the pair to make love as the rain pounded down on the roof and the pounding music in the background provided a soundtrack. CDs were knocked over, water got all over the equipment and floor, and Beca felt her heart finally repair as Chloe held her tightly and gave her the best birthday present that she had ever received; love and pleasure in their purest forms.

* * *

An hour later, both girls had pulled their soaking wet clothes back on and gotten into Chloe's car with the blanket draped over their laps and the heating pouring from the vents as Chloe drove them home. The silence between the two was comfortable and as the clock on the radio slowly turned to midnight, Chloe laughed lightly and said "How was your birthday, Beca? Did you get everything that you wished for?"

Beca giggled as she leaned into the seat, her eyes dangerously close to sliding shut, and lazily said "Yeah, it was okay. I got some sweet headphones and a sexy ginger molested me on a desk at work. It was pretty much the best birthday ever and I'm so glad that you showed up. I thought that I had lost you forever and I…I don't ever want to think about that again."

Chloe smiled as she turned the radio down a little and said "I would never leave you Beca. I just needed some time and I think you did too and now we can get back to where we were and move on. Not like we did after the accident, but for real this time. No more secrets, no more pain, and no more leaving each other. I just want **you** and now I have you again and I'm not letting go. No matter how hard you push me away or annoy me sometimes; you're stuck with me now."

Beca just smiled and took Chloe's free hand in hers, threading their fingers together and squeezing it tightly as they drove into the night. After a few minutes of worrying the inside of her lip and talking herself out of it, Beca sighed deeply and said "I was the one that caught my father cheating. I came home early one weekend from a friend's house and my mom was working up at the hospital and I guess he thought that no one would come home. He was kissing her on the couch and her hands were all over him and I was only thirteen, but I knew enough then to know that he was serious with her. He begged me not to tell my mom, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't want him to hurt her anymore and I told her the next day and things got worse. They fought constantly for four months and I would spend all night up in my room. When they used to fight, I'd call up my grandpa and he'd show up and take me out somewhere to distract me. He was gone now and all I had was my music to cover up their fights. Eventually my mom filed for divorce and he left the next day for Atlanta without a single word to her or to me. He went to be with **her **and he chose some mistress over his high school sweetheart and his daughter. I felt guilty every day for years because I told her and I caused this. That's why I can't trust people, Chloe. He was the one person that was supposed to be by my side and he gave up on me and ruined me."

Chloe shook her head and said "You're not ruined. We all have baggage and yours is a little heavier than other people might have, but it doesn't mean that you're beyond repair. I have the same baggage too and I think that as long as we have each other, we'll be okay. What he did wasn't your fault and he was the only one that could have changed what happened. You shouldn't feel guilty about it since it wasn't your fault and you loved your mom enough to keep her from getting hurt."

Beca nodded and said "I know that and I don't feel that guilty anymore, but it's always going to be there and I can't get rid of it. If I would have kept my mouth shut…maybe things would have been different. Maybe they would have fixed things and stayed together. Maybe he would have moved a little closer if they got divorced. Maybe…maybe I would be a different person, someone more open and nicer. Someone that deserves someone like you."

Chloe sighed and said "We deserve each other and I'm not any better or worse than you are. It's nice to think about the 'what ifs', but most people never change and maybe nothing would have changed for them. Maybe your grandfather's death sent your dad over the edge and there was no turning back."

Beca just nodded as she squeezed her eyes shut to stop her tears from overflowing and softly said "I was never the same after they split up. I wasn't all that sad because the fighting was over and my mom was happy again, but something changed for me and I became really distant and refused to talk to my dad for like three whole years. I didn't want to let anyone in because I didn't want to get hurt again and to feel like I did when they fought. I just…I'm scared that I'm never going to be able to commit to someone because they pretty much ruined any chance of me seeing how a normal relationship works. What if I screw you up or hurt you or…? I just…I don't want to change you Chloe and I want you to be happy. What if I can't make you happy?"

Chloe kissed the back of Beca's hand and said "I don't think we'll ever have to worry about that. As long as we have love for each other, then we'll be happy. I'm so proud of you for opening up to me tonight. It really means a lot to hear about where you came from and why you feel the way you do. I love you more because of it and you've really grown. I love you so much, Beca."

Beca smiled back at her and said "I love you too. So, do you want to hear a story about my grandpa and the time he got arrested when I was with him?"

Chloe nodded and Beca launched into a story about her grandfather, smiling and laughing as she allowed herself to open up and relive the past and move forward with her memories tucked safely in her chest. It felt good and the smile that painted Chloe's lips made it all so much sweeter and worth the wait.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the pair walked through the front door of the apartment and were met by Aubrey and Jesse holding a birthday cake. As Jesse lit the candles, Aubrey smiled at them and said "It's good to see you two together again. I know it's past your birthday now, but we made this for you and you should make a wish and blow them out. It couldn't hurt to have two wishes in one year, right?"

Beca just nodded and leaned into Chloe's body as the trio softly sang _Happy Birthday_ to her and then watched her with smiles on their faces as she made a wish and blew out the candles. Chloe divvied up the cake and they gathered around the table and ate together while making comfortable small talk to fill the voids that weren't spent gazing into each other's eyes. Beca leaned into Chloe and Jesse wrapped his arm around Aubrey and for once, nothing felt out of place. It felt right and Beca never wanted the evening to end.

Once they finished their cake, Jesse handed her a present and after she protested a bit she opened up the package and smiled at the small stack of DVDs in front of her. Jesse kept insisting that she was watching the wrong movies and just needed to find the perfect one to change her mind completely. She already had a least fifteen that he had given her and these three would just add to the collection that were collecting dust back in her dorm room, but she appreciated the sentiment and gave him a loose hug and whispered her thanks as he pulled away.

When she pulled back from his body, she was surprised to see Aubrey holding a folder in her hands and said "What's this? You didn't have to get me anything, Bree. You opened up your home to me and took care of me after the accident and I don't need a gift from you. I can't even repay you for what you've given me so far, so this is really unnecessary."

Aubrey rolled her eyes and said "Just open it, Mother Theresa. Chloe and I got you this together and we hope that you'll really like it."

Beca smiled at Chloe, who was bouncing anxiously on her feet as she watched Beca, and opened up the envelope and peered down at its contents. She froze as she read over it and after a minute, she softly said "A renter's agreement? What's this all about?"

Chloe grinned and said "It's inspired by your present to me at my birthday party last year. Bree and I are moving to a townhouse when school starts back up in the fall and we have a third bedroom that needs filled. We were kind of hoping that you would want to move in with us. It's totally cool if you don't want too, but I'm going to feel kind of silly since I already got you a key to the place and a really pretty keychain to hook it on. Don't feel pressure though, we won't be mad if you say no."

Beca just shook her head and said "Yes, I'll move in with you guys. Thank you, this is the nicest thing than anyone has ever done for me."

Aubrey nodded and said "Don't mention it. So, now that you've agreed to move in with us, I've typed up a tentative list of roommate rules. You can read over it and take the summer to memorize them. Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Beca had long since ignored the rambling blonde and wrapped her arm around Chloe's back, leading her out of the living room and to her bedroom. As they collapsed onto the bed, Beca kicked the door shut and then crawled up Chloe's body, stopping when their faces were level and placing a soft kiss on the tip of Chloe's nose. Chloe bit her lip as Beca pulled her into her arms and softly said "Thank you for taking me back and for being perfect and the best girlfriend ever. I'm not going to screw this up again, I promise. Thank you for giving me the best birthday ever. I'm so glad that I have you in my life and I love you."

Chloe just nodded in agreement and nuzzled her head into Beca's shoulder, falling asleep to the gently rhythm of Beca's chest rising and falling. Beca closed her eyes too, but couldn't fall asleep quite yet as her memories from the day's events still cycled through her mind. It had been joyful and warm and perfect, even after the rough start and the hours of waiting for some kind of sign. She had that now and she never wanted to leave this bed or escape from her girl's arms. For the first time in a long time, things were perfect and nothing was going to change that.


	9. All Alright

_And it's all alright. _  
_I guess it's all alright. _  
_I got nothing left inside of my chest, _  
_But it's all alright._

_All Alright- Fun._

* * *

**Chapter Nine: All Alright**

* * *

_It was a Friday evening and Beca was lying in bed with Chloe, running her fingers lazily through her wavy hair and just enjoying the comfortable sound of Chloe's soft breathing. Tomorrow was a big day for her and she was nervous, but also excited at the same time. Sectionals hadn't gone well last year and this was her chance to redeem herself and to deliver the Bellas to the finals for the third straight year. There was a lot riding on this performance and as the minutes slowly ticked away, Beca felt the anxiety growing in her stomach. _

_Chloe could tell that her girlfriend was restless and softly said "What's going on with you? Are you scared about tomorrow?"_

_Beca kissed the top of Chloe's head and as she battled with her emotions, she said "Um…a little, I guess. I just don't want to screw this up and let down the other girls. You remember how last year went and I just…I want this to be perfect."_

_Chloe nodded and kissed her neck gently before she said "I get that and Aubrey and I used to get the same way before these things. They're tough and you only have one shot to get it right, but you guys are ready and you're going to do great." _

_When Beca just nodded, Chloe knew that the sentiment wasn't enough and said "Do you know what I used to do during these things?" Beca shrugged against her shoulder and Chloe said "I'd pick one person in the crowd and focus on them. I'll be your person tomorrow and anytime you feel anxious or like you're going to forget a step or a lyric, look for me and it'll be alright. Okay?"_

_Beca managed a loose smile and said "Yeah, I'll do that. Just promise me that you'll be there tomorrow. Promise me that you and Aubrey will have enough time to drive up there and that I'll have you there if we screw up."_

_Chloe sighed and said "Bec, you're going to have me there tomorrow when you __**win**__. I'm so sorry that we can't drive up with you guys, but the realtor could only fit us in tomorrow and we have to get our lease ready before the semester ends and Aubrey goes home for the summer. I promise you that we'll be there and we'll have more than enough time to drive up there once our meeting ends. Now, you need to get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow."_

_Beca nodded and felt a little better from Chloe's comforting words. Maybe they would really be okay and tomorrow would be perfect. She couldn't believe it though and forced it to the back of her head as she kissed Chloe's cheek and whispered "Good night, Chlo. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."_

* * *

The next day, Aubrey stood in the doorway of the bathroom and spun her car keys on her index finger as she watched Chloe fuss with her hair. The girl had been going at it for fifteen minutes and Aubrey's irritation was growing with each passing second. They had three hours to get to the school where the competition was being held and if traffic was bad, they would need every extra second to get there in time and to get good seats. Chloe didn't seem to care though and as Aubrey stamped her foot against the tile floor, she said "Seriously Chloe? You look beautiful and Beca's going to love you. We have to go though, so stop messing with your hair and grab your purse."

Chloe huffed as Aubrey rushed her and shoved her comb into her bag before turning out the lights and following Aubrey to the foyer of their apartment. Their meeting with the realtor had been delayed and then took longer than expected, so she didn't have the time that she needed to primp and look her best for her girl's special day. Still, she didn't look _bad_, and she knew that Beca would appreciate whatever effort she put into looking special.

As they reached the door and Aubrey opened it, Chloe's phone started to ring and she put her hand on Aubrey's back to stop her. As Aubrey spun around with an exasperated look on her face, Chloe just shrugged and said "It's my grandmother. She never calls and I should probably take this. Chill out, it'll only take a minute."

Aubrey nodded as she slid the door shut and watched as Chloe walked over to the island in the kitchen and sunk onto a bar stool at the counter. Chloe flicked her finger across the touch screen of her phone and put it to her ear as she said "Grandma? Hi, what's going on? I haven't heard from you in a while. How's Grandpa?"

Aubrey tried not to listen to the conversation, but when Chloe trailed off and didn't say anything for a minute, Aubrey knew that something was up. This wasn't going to be a short conversation and Aubrey leaned against the wall before looking up at Chloe and freezing. Her hands had started to shake slightly and her face was pale as she listened to what her grandmother was saying.

Aubrey knew then that she was hearing bad news and as she made her way over to her best friend to comfort her, she stopped in her tracks when Chloe gasped softly and tearfully said "What?!"

* * *

The Bellas were waiting in the wings of the performing arts center and watching as the Treblemakers powered through their set. It was decidedly less up-tempo and frenetic as the set that they had put together last year, but it was still good and a nervous energy had started to build amongst the anxious girls.

They were the last group to perform and while they had watched everyone perform already, it didn't make them any less nervous. Still, the quality was down this year and from the scattered applause coming after each performance, Beca knew that they would need to just be okay to get through to the next round.

As the Treblemakers finished and were met with warm applause, Beca turned to the other girls and motioned for them to form a circle around her. Once they had all gathered around and were watching each other anxiously, Beca cracked a smile and said "We've got this. The other groups aren't that great this year, so we just need a solid performance and we're golden."

Amy nodded in agreement and said "She's right, guys. Let's crush this thing and show them all why we won ICCAs last year. Hands in!"

The girls all thrust their hands into the middle of their circle and counted to three before singing their note and breaking apart. Beca stood back a little and smiled as the other girls seemed to calm down at the realization that they were better than their competition. That would make things so much easier and while Beca had initially been really nervous, most of that had converted into energy and she was ready to sing her ass off and collect her trophy.

All of that disappeared however when she walked out onto the stage and didn't see Chloe or Aubrey sitting in the seats that she had reserved for them. As she looked over at the Trebles, she caught Jesse's eye and mouthed "Where are they?"

When Jesse just shrugged and looked puzzled too, Beca felt the nervousness return to her body and closed her eyes for a moment as she tried to will it away. All of her swagger was gone and as her hands shook with nerves, she prayed that she would be able to get through this without her good luck charm there. She had to put that aside though and as she tried to push it to the back of her head, she pulled the pitch pipe out of her pocket and nearly fumbled it to the floor.

Amy was standing next to her and immediately picked up on Beca's nerves as she nearly dropped the pipe to the floor and blushed furiously as she put it to her lips. She wasn't alone as the other girls noticed too and as Beca blew a weak note out of the small instrument, each of them knew that this was going to go badly.

* * *

Aubrey was staring down at the speedometer and willed the car to go faster as she raced to the campus. They were late and Aubrey was sure that they had missed the entire thing, but she still had to try. Next to her, Chloe was sniffling and wiping her tear streaked cheeks off in the mirror as she tried to calm down. It was no use as the tears kept coming and Aubrey reached a hand out and patted Chloe's thigh comfortingly as she drove.

When Chloe whimpered a moment later and broke down into sobs, Aubrey felt a pang in her chest and said "Chlo, do you want me to pull over? We could talk and I'll hold you and let you calm down."

Chloe just shook her head as she tried to control her breathing and said "No, we just have to get there. Beca needs us and we've probably missed the whole thing since we're so late. I just…I need to see her."

Aubrey frowned and said "We're almost there, only ten more minutes and we'll be there. You're upset and we should talk. You can't keep this inside and I want to talk about it."

Chloe closed her eyes and shook her head as she thought back on the phone call and grew more upset. She never expected that she would get a phone call like that and if she had any idea this morning that this would happen to her, she would have pulled the blankets over her head and stayed in bed.

She could feel Aubrey watching her out of the corner of her eye as she drove and Chloe wiped the tears off of her slick cheeks before she said "Thank you for getting my bag packed. I was a mess back at the apartment and I never could have done that on my own. Thanks for taking care of me."

Aubrey smiled gently and said "That's what a best friend is for. I don't know how I got my bag packed or one ready for Beca too, but somehow I did and I guess I must have superpowers or something. Now, I just need to use them to get us through this traffic so she doesn't kill us when we get there late."

Chloe managed a weak laugh and squeezed the hand that was resting against her leg as the tears came again. She had cried nonstop since the phone call and all she wanted was to get to that campus and fall into Beca's arms and never leave them again.

* * *

In a hallway behind the stage, the Bellas had gathered and were watching as Beca argued with Stacie and Cynthia Rose. They had gotten through to finals and had beaten the Trebles, getting a very nice trophy in the process which Amy was clutching tightly, but something was off with Beca. As soon as they got off of the stage, she snapped at a giggling Cynthia and Stacie and they had been fighting since. The other girls wanted desperately to jump in and stop the fight, but Beca looked like she needed to get this off of her chest and no one wanted to get in her way.

Beca looked back up from her feet after Stacie stopped chiding her and said "You're one to talk, Stacie! You think that I'm overreacting, but you're the one that's under reacting. We barely made it through back there and you're acting like we did amazing. For someone who acts like they're such a great dancer, you really messed up the choreography in _Vogue_ and what was up with you Cynthia? Were you even listening to yourself when you sang? You were all over the place and we need you to hit those low notes if we want to win again. What was wrong with you guys?"

Stacie was offended and felt her eyes grow teary at Beca's words. She had just been nervous and excited and seeing the crowd actually react to what they were doing had been distracting. She didn't need to hear it from Beca though and scoffed as she walked away and joined the rest of the girl, leaving Cynthia Rose alone to fight with the frazzled DJ.

Cynthia Rose rolled her eyes at Beca and said "What about you, B? You almost forgot the words to your rap in _Thrift Shop_ and every time that I looked over at you, you were in some kind of daze. I'm sorry that your girlfriend couldn't make it, but that doesn't mean that you get to check out and forget about the rest of us!"

Beca felt adrenaline and anger rush through her veins at the mention of Chloe and lunged at Cynthia. As Amy dropped the trophy and pulled Beca away from a stunned Cynthia Rose, Beca said "Don't you dare talk about Chloe!"

Amy wrapped her arms around Beca's waist and hauled her away from Cynthia, pushing her up against the wall and holding her hands that were balled up into tight fists. As Beca fought back angry tears, Amy touched her shoulder and said "Calm down, B. She didn't mean anything by it and you guys are just stressed out. We won though and we shouldn't be fighting each other. We'll fix whatever problems we have before finals and we'll be great!"

With the other girls nodding in agreement with Amy's words, Beca felt terrible for how she had acted and looked down at the broken trophy and sighed. She picked it up from the ground and softly said "I'm sorry, guys. I was just so stressed out and I shouldn't have taken it out on Stacie or Cynthia. You guys were great and I…I'm an idiot sometimes."

As Amy let Beca go, Cynthia Rose wrapped an arm around Beca's back and said "Hey, we're all idiots so it's okay. We know you didn't mean anything and it's okay now."

Beca felt a tear slip from her eyes and leaned into Cynthia's shoulder as she said "No, it's not. She should have been here. They promised…"

* * *

Moment later, the doors at the end of the hallway burst open and Aubrey and Chloe ran through them. They looked frazzled and their hair was unruly from sprinting across the parking lot, but they were here now and that was all that mattered. As the other girls greeted them happily, Beca slipped away from the group and leaned back against the wall as she tried to calm down and keep her emotions in check. They had at least showed up and while it hurt that they didn't see her perform, it meant something that they had even came. Right?

Chloe smiled widely at the girls standing in front of her and said "We're so sorry that we missed it. I had a phone call and then we got stuck in traffic, but we're here. How did you guys do?"

Stacie showed them the trophy, holding it carefully so they didn't noticed that it had been broken in half, and said "We won! We beat the Trebles and we're both going back to finals! Get your hotel booked because you guys are coming with us and are partying with us in New York City."

Aubrey smiled and was about to congratulate them, when Beca pushed through the crowd of girls and stared at Chloe with anger written all over her face. Her eyes were teary and she had tried to keep her anger in check, but she couldn't help it anymore and said "What the hell, Chloe?! You promised me that you would be here and you flaked out. What phone call was more important than this?"

Beca felt her heart break when Chloe just looked down at her feet tearfully, but couldn't will herself to shut her mouth. The words were practically pouring out of her mouth and she just had to let them go. Aubrey tried to interrupt her, but Beca shot a glare at her and said "You knew how much this meant to me and the other girls and you missed the whole thing. I screwed up in there because all I could think about was you and how you weren't there. I can't believe you."

Chloe was sobbing now and Cynthia Rose couldn't stand it anymore, pulling Beca away from the distraught ginger and saying "B, that's enough! Look at her, she's crying and you need to stop."

Beca allowed herself to finally really look at Chloe for the first time since her rant had started and felt her heart sink as she saw the tears pouring down Chloe's cheeks. She tried to force an apology out of her mouth but as she opened it, Chloe started to weep and ran away from the girls.

Beca took a step towards Chloe to follow her, but Amy pushed past her and said "I'll go after her. You've done enough and you need to stay here."

Beca desperately wanted to go after them and tried to make a break for the door, but Aubrey stopped her when she placed a firm hand on her shoulder and said "You're upset and so is she, so you're not going after her. We need to talk."

Aubrey's sullen tone shook Beca and Beca grimaced as she said "Why is she upset? She's the one that missed this whole thing and screwed up. I haven't done anything."

Aubrey could feel the other girls watching Beca and pulled her a few steps away from them, not wanting them to be a part of what she had to tell Beca. As she firmly gripped Beca's shoulders and stared into her eyes, Aubrey softly said "I almost didn't get her out of the apartment. She was crying so hard that she was making herself sick and I had to pack her bags and everything."

Beca frowned at Aubrey's words and felt more confused than ever as she said "Why did you have to pack her bags? What's going on?"

Aubrey's eyes grew teary at the girl's innocent words and she looked down at her feet as she said "It's her dad. He had a heart attack and it's really bad. She has to get to New York as soon as possible and the company is sending a private plane down to Atlanta for her; we just have to get back there for her to get on it."

Beca looked like she was trying to process everything and Aubrey pressed on and said "We should have stayed back at the apartment, but she had to see you and she wants you to come. I packed up some of the clothes that you left over at the apartment and we can get you some more once we get to New York, but I need to know now if you're coming with us. It's just…it's not good Beca and she's taking it really hard."

Beca felt overwhelmed with guilt from yelling at Chloe and only took a moment to ponder Aubrey's request. She blinked back tears as she saw Aubrey's own sliding from her eyes and said "I'm coming. Spring break starts tomorrow, so where else would I be?"

Aubrey managed a weak smile and said "Good. Now, let's go and find her and get out of here. The plane should be arriving in an hour or so and we'll need all of that time to drive back to Atlanta."

As they stepped away from the Bellas, who had overheard the conversation and looked upset, Beca fought back her tears and said "Bree…I'm so sorry for what I said to her back there. If I would have known…"

As Beca trailed off, Aubrey turned the girl around and looked into her eyes as she rubbed her forearms comfortingly. With tears lingering in her own eyes, Aubrey looked down at Beca and said "I know and she does too. We have to go, Bec. They don't think…her grandmother doesn't think that he's going to make it through the night."

* * *

**A/N: So I'm leaving this off here and the next chapter will pick up with the girls in NYC. I don't want to make any authors notes in the next chapter, but I will say that it's going to be really difficult for me to write it and I hope I can do it justice. The events in the next chapter are influenced by something that happened in my family a few months ago and it was one of the hardest things we've ever had to go through. I haven't seen a fic that addresses this in this fandom and I just want to do it right and hopefully portray the emotions that I remember from those days effectively. Sorry for being vague, but I can't go into too much detail without spoiling the next chapter. **

**It's going to take a little while to write since I already know that it's going to be uber-long, but please bear with me and hopefully read it once it's done. I hope to have this finished by the end of the week and there will be one more big chapter (chapter 10) and then one small one to set us up for the last part of this trilogy, **_**Breathe Again.**_**I hope you enjoyed this and reviews are appreciated and welcome. **


	10. Blue Ocean Floor

**A/N: I changed my mind about making a note. I've decided to split this chapter in half and chapter eleven will be the end of this story. I didn't want a 10k word update and it felt better to cut this off where it ends instead of stretching it out. As always, the italics are flashbacks and I hope you enjoy. **

* * *

_Under the water you scream so loud but the silence surrounds you_  
_But I hear it loud and you fall in the deep and I'll always find you_  
_If my red eyes don't see you anymore_  
_And I can't hear you through the white noise_

_Just send your heartbeat  
I'll go to the blue ocean floor  
Where they'll find us no more  
On that blue ocean floor_

_Blue Ocean Floor-Justin Timberlake_

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Blue Ocean Floor**

_Sometimes if Chloe closes her eyes tight enough and shuts out the world around her, she can picture herself on the beach with the smell of salt water invading her nose and joy pumping through her veins. The memories of that last perfect vacation are surprisingly clear to her even though it was a lifetime ago when she was just four years old, but she wouldn't trade them in for anything. It was the last time she could remember her mother and father actually getting along and not fighting and it has been perfect. It was one lasting memento of innocence for her to hold on to and while the rest of her memories of her parent's marriage soured, she still had one thing to look back on and smile about. _

_She could remember how warm the sand felt beneath her feet and how her dad hoisted her high above his head and splashed her down into the water as they swam all afternoon. Her skin burnt and she was afraid of going too far out into the water, but his hands were firm and she had nothing to be afraid of as they played all afternoon._

_She remembered the swim trunks that he wore with the wide stripes on them that made her mom smirk. When he paired them with his huge aviators and a golf visor, her mom laughed loudly and teased him relentlessly, poking him in the ribs and calling him a "yuppy". Chloe didn't know what that word meant, but it made her dad laugh in big booming chuckles and Chloe couldn't stop herself from joining in. _

_They had cold cereal for lunch every day, Captain Crunch was her favorite, and one night her mom surprised them by taking them to her dad's favorite restaurant. His face lit up as they drove up to the cheesy buffet with the huge crab sign and Chloe watched her dad in awe as he taught her how to open crab legs and flirted with her mom, not minding the attention that his loving words and actions brought them or how Kate blushed and giggled like a young girl at him. _

_She remembered her dad picking her up and taking her to the front of the restaurant to look in the lobster tank. She had been terrified of the creatures and as they moved their pinchers, she broke down into loud sobs and her mom was at her side within moments. She took her out of his arms swiftly and pushed past him out of the restaurant, comforting her upset daughter and shrugging off his apologies. _

_Hours later as she laid snuggled up with a blanket on the couch, she heard her mom yelling at him about the lobsters and his voice answering her back as it boomed through the small hotel suite. As his words got louder and angrier, they were teamed by the sound of something hitting the floor and shattering and her mommy starting to cry. She was too tired to be scared though and cuddled tighter with her pillows as she fell asleep. A little while later she was pulled out her reverie by her dad's warm arms lifting her from the couch and moving her to her bed, placing her down carefully and kissing her cheek before tucking her in and softly apologizing to her. _

_The next day things were different and her dad took her out of the hotel all day, showing her how to fly a kite on the beach and teaching her how to fish from the pier. This time she wasn't afraid and he beamed at her as she pulled her fish off of her line and threw it back into the water without protest. He called her his 'good girl' and 'lady bug' and put her on his shoulders as they ran across the beach and back to the car to get ice cream before going back to their hotel. _

_It was sun block and sand between her toes. Sunburns and sweat and masked fighting and spats between moments of romance and love. It was pig tails and cut off shorts and running on the beach and overwhelming joy. _

* * *

Her grandmother placed a hand on Chloe's shoulder as she stared down at her unconscious father and she felt her tense back relax a little at the comforting touch. He was just laying there, with a ventilator breathing for him and no signs of life coming from him as he rested in a coma. His face was swollen and he didn't look like himself under the harsh fluorescent lights of the ICU, but he was still her dad and she held his hand tightly as she tried to avoid the tubes going into the back of his hand and the incessant beeping of the machines that were hooked to his body. The beeping that gave her a headache as it constantly reminded her that the person she loved was sick and that there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

A young nurse came into the room and Chloe smirked to herself at the thought of someone younger than her being in charge of her father's survival. As the nurse looked at her, she quickly turned on the charm and shifted her smirk into a warm smile. When the nurse started to read over a chart at the foot of the bed, Chloe cleared her throat and softly said "I'm his daughter. I just got in from Atlanta. Do you know when they plan on taking him off of the ventilator?"

The nurse looked up at Chloe with sympathy and the look sent cold shivers down Chloe's spine as she became irrationally angry that this girl felt sorry for her. She kept calm though and felt her breath almost leave her body as the nurse said "It's going to be a while before the doctor even considers making that move. Your father was without oxygen for several minutes and they need to run substantial tests before they can determine if and when it can be removed. We'll keep you informed though if anything changes."

The nurse was paged out of the room a moment later and Chloe looked down at her feet as shock rolled through her body in waves. _If_? Her grandmother had told her that it was just a heart attack and while they were scary, they usually didn't result in ventilators, tough decisions, and sympathetic glances. When she looked back up at her grandmother, the older woman's eye were teary and Chloe softly said "Grandma…what aren't you telling me? I want to know exactly what happened today."

Her grandmother sunk onto a chair that was pulled next to the bed and stroked her son's arm as she softly said "They found him in his office. Your Uncle Jack found him there when he missed a conference call and he wasn't breathing. He did CPR and brought him back, but he had another heart attack in the ambulance and they almost lost him. He's stable now, but that can change and he's been unresponsive since he was brought back the first time."

When her grandmother looked up and saw Chloe's pale face and shaking hands, she gasped slightly and said "Sweetheart, you know more about this than I ever will. How bad is this? The doctor's won't give us a prognosis and…be honest with me. He's my youngest and I just…I need **someone** to tell me the truth."

As Chloe felt the tears pouring from her eyes, she looked up at her grandmother and sucked her lip in as her face started to crumple with deep sobs. Her grandma put a warm hand on her back and rubbed it gently, but it didn't help and it couldn't change what Chloe knew.

After a minute of crying into her hands and trying to calm herself down, she allowed herself to look into her grandmother's heartbroken eyes and said "It's bad."

* * *

_Chloe was five years old when things fell apart between her parents. It was a Thursday night and she was tucked safely in her bed, trying to fall asleep so she would be rested for school in the morning. She had just about fallen asleep when her bedroom door was opened a little and her dad came in. He was wearing his jacket and Chloe felt a strange feeling start in her stomach as she wondered where he was going. _

_He sat on the edge of her twin bed with a sigh and stroked her hair gently, pulling on one of her blonde pigtails until she giggled and he let go. As she looked up at her dad, she could see that he looked upset and tired and she wanted to give him a hug but she was too cozy under her Power Rangers comforter to move._

_He smiled sadly at her and said "Hey, lady bug. I'm sorry that I woke you, but I wanted to talk to you about something. I love you, but I'm not going to be here when you wake up tomorrow. I'm going to live in a new house by myself and you're going to stay here with mommy. It's only for a little while and I promise that I'll see you every weekend. It's better this way, Chlo."_

_Chloe just nodded and closed her eyes as tears started to roll down her face. She knew that he was right, but she was just a kid and these things didn't make sense to her. Why did he have to go away and why couldn't he just stop yelling at her mom? He had hit her a few nights ago and Chloe remembered screaming as her mom clutched her face and shoved him out of the kitchen and into the bedroom where their fight intensified into loud screaming and thumping as trinkets were thrown from the shelves and pictures were torn from the walls._

_Chloe had nightmares about that for a week and her dad had pretty much disappeared, only coming home for dinner and to grab new clothes. It hadn't been bad though and the fighting had stopped and her mom didn't cry anymore. Her stomach felt uneasy and she cried because she would miss him, but somehow she knew that it would be okay._

_He kissed the top of her head, above the small scar that she had gotten as an infant, and said "I'll see you on Sunday, bug. We'll grab a pizza and I'll take you to a Rays game like my dad used to do with me. I love you sweetie, sweet dreams."_

_As he tucked her back in and crept out of the room with his suitcase, Chloe buried her face in her pillow and tried to stifle her cries as she looked ahead to their weekend together. She had never been to a baseball game before and maybe he would catch her a fly ball and buy her nachos! It would be okay and maybe even a little fun to have weekends with her dad where they could just hang out and do fun stuff. She would be his good girl and he would smile like he used to and everything would be just fine. _

_He never showed up._

* * *

Chloe left the room a little while later to give her grandparents some time alone with their son and found herself breaking down into tears when she saw Aubrey and Beca waiting for her in the waiting room. They had been at the hospital for three hours and they had waited the whole time, their bags still sitting next to them as they waited to be dropped off at their hotel room.

Beca greeted her with a warm hug and Chloe leaned into her, letting the smaller girl hold her tightly and melting into her side as the events of the day flooded into her mind and suddenly became real. Aubrey could see her fighting with herself internally and softly said "It's okay Chlo, we're here. How's your dad doing? Is he awake yet?"

Chloe shrugged out of Beca's arms and sunk onto a chair, guiding Beca down next to her and gripping her hand tightly as she stared up at her best friend. As she choked back tears, Chloe said "No and he's probably never going to wake up again. He had two heart attacks and when they found him he hadn't been breathing for a long time. It doesn't look good and his condition is up in the air right now, so I'm probably going to stay up here all night. You guys should head over to the hotel. It's getting really late and you've both had a long day. Take my dad's credit card and get a nice room. It'll be on the company's dime and it's okay."

Aubrey shook her head as she stood and said "No way, Chloe. My dad already gave me permission to use his credit card and I'm going to take him up on the offer. He owes me this and we'll get a nice suite so you have somewhere nice to relax when you can leave. Are you sure that you'll be okay up here all night? We'll be right next door and I'm sure it wouldn't matter if you left to get some sleep."

Chloe shook her head as she stood and pulled Aubrey in for a hug as she said "That sounds nice, but he's my dad and I can't leave him alone. I have to be here in case something happens, so I'll just camp out in here and try to get a little sleep when I can. Thank you for waiting up for me, it really means a lot. I love you, Bree."

Aubrey smiled as she pulled away and said "I love you too. Call us if you need anything, okay?"

Chloe just nodded and pulled Beca up from her seat, smiling down at the quiet girl and giving her a tight hug. Beca didn't want to leave Chloe there alone and held Chloe tightly for a long time, stroking her back and whispering soft sentiments into her ear when Chloe broke down into tears again.

It felt like an eternity before they broke apart, but they eventually had to and Beca hurriedly wiped the tears off of her face as she stared up at Chloe's tear streaked cheeks. It was killing her to see her girlfriend cry and Beca softly said "I can stay with you Chloe. Just say the word and I'm here."

Chloe shook her head as she wiped her face off and said "No, go and get some rest. I'll stop by in the morning for a shower and new clothes and we'll grab some breakfast. I'll be fine and I love you. Be safe guys."

The girls left a few moments later, with Aubrey practically having to drag Beca out of the waiting room, and Chloe sunk onto an uncomfortable chair and flipped through a magazine as she tried to relax. This would be her home for God knows how long and she would have to get used to being tired and achy and miserable. This was for her dad and even though he had never been there for her, there was no way that she was leaving.

An hour had passed as she read through every magazine on the table next to her and she had started to fall asleep when a familiar voice wafted into the waiting room and shook her from her dreams. When she pulled open her eyes with a start, she found herself staring back at her mother and stood up quickly, hugging her mom and breaking down into a new round of tears as her mother tried to comfort her.

They stood that way for a few minutes and once Chloe calmed, Kate released her daughter and said "How are you doing? Why aren't you at the hotel with your friends?"

Chloe shrugged and said "I couldn't leave. Why are you here? How did you know? I didn't even think to call or text you."

Kate stroked her daughter's hair and said "Your girlfriend called me and we talked about what was going on. She's a really sweet girl and she practically begged me to get up here as soon as possible. It was a little unnecessary though since we would never let you go through this alone."

Chloe smiled at the thought of Beca calling her mother and said "We? Who did you bring with you?"

As the words slipped out of her mouth, her step-dad came into the room with his arms full with blankets and pillows. As he placed them onto a chair, he smiled at Chloe and said "We're camping out up here with you tonight. Now, get comfortable while I go and get us some coffee."

* * *

_Chloe was thirteen years old when her mom introduced her to her boyfriend Eric. They had been dating for a few weeks now and her mother was convinced that he was the one. Chloe wasn't so sure, but amused her mother and tagged along on her date so she could finally meet the guy that had captured her heart. He hadn't been her first love interest since the divorce, but it had lasted longer than the rest and Chloe knew that she had to at least give him a chance for her mom's sake._

_She just didn't expect the date to be at a carnival and as they pulled into the parking lot of the local fire hall where it was being held, Chloe felt a little repulsed at how juvenile this was. She wasn't a kid anymore and would look like an idiot walking around here with her mom and some guy that she didn't know, but again she knew she would have to suck it up and just deal with it._

_As they got out of Eric's Jeep, he smiled at the two girls and said "I didn't know what we could all do that would be fun and I didn't want to go to a movie because we couldn't talk, so here we are. If you don't like it Chloe, just tell me and we'll go wherever you want. Is this okay?"_

_Chloe just nodded as her mom wrapped her arm around her back and said "Yeah, this is fine. Look, they have a Ferris wheel! Mom, can I ride it?"_

_Eric grinned at the teenager and handed her a bunch of tickets, motioning for her to choose whatever she wanted. Chloe smiled back at Eric and surprisingly, she started to enjoy herself as she rode all of the rides with her mom and Eric. She giggled on the Tilt-A-Whirl and closed her eyes when the Ferris wheel stopped at the top and watched her mom as she rode the merry-go-round, smiling when she saw her mom leaning into Eric's side and kissing him on the cheek. She looked so happy and while Chloe wasn't too fond of the idea of her mother moving on, she just wanted to see her happy and this guy clearly made her that way. _

_When she finished riding all of the rides, Eric bought her a funnel cake with tons of toppings on it and she ate the messy dessert as they walked among the different booths and just talked. Her mom was talking with a friend from work and Chloe allowed herself to relax as Eric strolled with her and asked her about school and music and what she liked to do for fun. He seemed genuinely interested in her and as they got into a spirited conversation about N'Sync and Justin Timberlake's solo career, Chloe felt completely comfortable and found that she actually liked this guy. _

_After spending two hours at the carnival, Eric drove them back home in his Jeep and Chloe couldn't stop herself from drifting away as she relaxed on the back seat. She had the stuffed dog that he had won her tucked under her arm and the subtle rocking of the car and the light murmur of their conversation provided the perfect lullaby. As she drifted off, she heard Eric laugh happily and then the words "I love you, Kate. I'm so glad that Chloe had a good time tonight. I think she actually likes me and I was so worried that she'd hate me."_

_Somehow Chloe had fallen asleep as his words trailed off into nothingness and woke up upstairs in her room. The dog was still under her arm and her mom must have gotten her undressed since she was in her pajamas and was warm and comfortable. As she tried to fall back asleep though, she found that sleep wouldn't come and all she could think about was her father. He hadn't called her since her birthday three months ago and even then, they had only talked for a few minutes before he had to go. The check for $250 had been nice and she bought a bunch of new stuff for school, but it still hurt that he didn't see her or make an effort to talk to her. _

_As her eyes became a little teary, the door to her bedroom opened up and Kate walked in with a small smile on her face. She tucked Chloe in and said "What are you still doing up, Bug? Eric had to carry you up here and we thought that you were conked out for the night. Are you feeling okay? You had cotton candy and that funnel cake and rode a bunch of spinning rides at the carnival, so you probably have an upset stomach. Do you want to sleep with me?"_

_Chloe shook her head and sighed as tears made their way out of her eyes, gliding down her cheeks and plopping onto the comforter that was wrapped tightly around her body. Kate gasped lightly and swiped them away with the back of her hand before pulling Chloe in for a tight hug. As Chloe broke down into light sobs, Kate rubbed her back and said "Baby, what's wrong? I thought you had a good time tonight and were getting along with Eric. Do you not like him? It's okay if you don't and if you're not ready for me to date yet, I'll call it off. What's going on?"_

_Chloe sniffled into her mom's shoulder and said "I just miss dad. He doesn't want to be around me and I haven't seen him in so long. Tonight was fun and Eric's really nice, but he made me miss dad. I…I feel really bad for something that I thought tonight."_

_Kate frowned and pulled Chloe's hair away from her face as she softly said "What were you thinking about? You can tell me anything, sweetie."_

_Chloe pulled the blankets around herself a little tighter and said "I liked him more than dad. He was so nice to me and he actually wanted to talk to me. It made me hate dad a little and I feel really bad. It feels like I'm betraying dad by wanting Eric to stick around and I'm scared that I'm going to forget about dad because he's never around." _

_Tears had filled Kate's own eyes and she soothed Chloe with a kiss on her cheek and a tender squeeze of one of her hands. As Chloe laid back down and tried to relax, Kate stroked her hair as it fanned across the pillow and said "It's okay to feel that way about your dad. He hasn't been good to you and he's caused you a lot of pain. I'm so sorry that he hasn't been there for you, but it's okay for you to like Eric and we deserve to have someone really nice in our lives to care about us. __**You**__ deserve it Chloe and even if things with Eric don't work out, it's okay to move on and feel things. Your dad is a jerk and that's not going to change right not, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve love or affection or attention. You deserve to be happy and I have a really good feeling about this one."_

* * *

Somehow the night had passed by and Chloe found herself sitting at a conference table with Aubrey, Beca, her grandparents and her mother as they waited for the doctors to come in and talk to them. They had been given no updates throughout the night and while Chloe had been able to see her dad for a little bit this morning, nothing had changed as she was beginning to feel hopeless.

Moments later, a pair of doctors came into the room and introduced themselves to Chloe and her family, but she could care less about their names or what they were saying as she found herself in a daze. She had barely slept and wasn't sure how she was still standing after the endless night that she had spent in the waiting room.

Beca's hand slipping into hers pulled her through her fog though and as she squeezed it back, the neuro surgeon said "Ms. Beale, I'm your father's neurologist. I had a series of tests run on him this morning and I'm sorry to say that the news isn't encouraging. Because he wasn't breathing for so long, the lack of oxygen to his body severely damaged his brain. We ran countless tests, but there isn't any function coming from his brain. I think you understand what this means, but let me elaborate a little for your family. Tony is never going to recover from this. His heart and organs are intact, but he will never be able to speak or function or move at all due to the brain damage. It's basically like his brain has reset and he's at the level of an infant right now. He can breathe on his own, but we can't consider that yet because he's secreting a lot of fluid into his lungs. He can't clear it out on his own and it would suffocate him without the tube in place. In time, we could consider removing it, but he would basically be like a vegetable. It's not even guaranteed that he would wake up from his coma if we did that."

Her grandmother was sobbing loudly now and her grandfather looked like he was going to pass out as he stood from the table and started to pace. Chloe was gripping her mother's hand tightly and avoiding eye contact with Aubrey and Beca, who were visibly pale and trying to comprehend what this all meant. After a few silent moments, Kate broke the silence of the room and said "What does this all mean? What are you going to do for him?"

The cardiologist spoke now and said "Well, we have several options. One, we can keep him on the machines and let this ride out for as long as it takes. I've seen patients last for as little as minutes and as long as years living off of these machines. We can't guarantee you how long he has, but it would be spent like this and nothing would change. A second option is to remove the breathing tube and let nature take its course. His lungs would eventually fill up with fluid and he would cease breathing and pass away."

Chloe started to cry at those words and with a shaky voice, Beca said "Wouldn't that be painful? Isn't that like choking to death?"

Aubrey held onto Beca's hand as the DJ struggled to hold her tears back and the doctor said "We would have him sedated and comfortable. I can't tell you that it will be peaceful or painless since we have no idea, but it doesn't take long and we do our very best to make sure that the patient is calm. At this point, with the lack of brain waves, we can't even determine how much Mr. Beale is actually feeling or understanding. We don't want to rush you in this decision though and we want you guys to make it as a family. We just need to know who the power of attorney is. No one is listed in his will and neither are his wishes, so one needs to be appointed to make this decision."

Chloe felt her hands start to tremble against her lap as she clutched them together under the table and she stiffened when her grandfather said "He's not married and his next of kin is Chloe. You're his daughter and the decision should be yours. We're going to support you in whatever you decide, but we want you to be the person who makes this choice. He's your dad and you know what's best. Plus, you're the only one of us with medical knowledge and you can do the best job."

Chloe felt her heart race as the reality of the situation sunk in and she realized just what decision she would have to make. As the doctor slid papers across the table for Chloe to sign, she felt bile rise in her throat and ran from the room as tears poured down her face.

She couldn't make this decision. She wouldn't make this choice.

Somehow she had made it outside and her entire body shook as she gulped down greedy breaths and tried to stay calm. They were asking her to choose if her father lived or died and she couldn't…how could someone make a choice like that? It wasn't her place to decide if someone died and she felt incredibly overwhelmed as she realized that she didn't even have a choice in this matter. She would have to make a choice and it was killing her.

As the dam broke in her chest and she started to sob violently, she felt warms arms wrap around her back and her knees buckle out from underneath of her as she fell forward and hit the ground hard. Beca stayed with her though and held her tightly as she wept like a baby into her hands. Beca kept holding her and rocked her back and forth as she kissed the back of her neck and tried to calm her down.

Beca had never been through anything like this before and didn't know what else to do for Chloe but to hold her and just let her know that she wasn't alone. Chloe was whimpering into her chest and Beca just stroked her hair as the girl cried herself out and slowly started to calm down. Once her breathing was under control, Chloe shook her head and said "What do I do, Bec? How can I choose if he lives or dies? I'm just…I don't even know him and I have to choose his fate. How can a person make that kind of decision?"

Chloe started to get teary again and Beca stroked her cheek and said "I don't know, Chlo. It's so hard and I'm so, so sorry that you have to make this decision. You're not alone though and you have me, regardless of what you choose or what happens to him. You're never going to lose me and I'll always be here, holding you and getting you through this. I love you and it's going to be okay."

Chloe started to sob again and clung to Beca like a wet towel, grasping her back for dear life and whimpering into her chest. Beca held her for what seemed like an eternity and when they eventually pulled apart, Chloe stroked Beca's wet cheek and whispered "What if I make the wrong choice?"

Beca didn't have an answer and Chloe was terrified as she started to shake and gripped Beca's hand tightly, tethering herself to the person that loved her the best as she threatened to drift away.

What was she going to do?


	11. Keep Breathing

**A/n: So, this ends part two of this trilogy and I pretty much emotionally destroyed myself when I wrote it, but I really like how this ends. If you've liked this so far and want to see how this whole saga ends, the next part in the series should be up later in the week and it's called _Breathe Again_. **

**Like I said a few chapters ago, this is based off of something I went through personally when my godmother died and it's as real as I can make it, so I hope you enjoy it and continue with me on our long angsty journey to part three. Thanks for reading!**

**-Melissa**

* * *

_The storm is coming, but I don't mind._  
_People are dying, I close my blinds._  
_All that I know is I'm breathing now._

_Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson_

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Keep Breathing**

_Chloe was sixteen when her world turned completely upside down. Aunt Claire had been her favorite person in the world. The person that she could call up and talk to whenever she needed advice. The first person that she had admitted that she liked girls to and gotten a hug in return instead of scolding or scorn. Her apartment had been shelter on many nights when she fought with her mother over stupid things or on weekends when they ordered in food and just had girl's night. She was stunning and funny and knew exactly the right things to say whenever Chloe was hurting or just needed someone to talk to. Chloe loved her with all of her heart and as she sat on the edge of her bed and wept into her hands, she wasn't sure if her heart would ever heal again._

_Two days ago they had buried her aunt and Chloe was left with overwhelming sadness and the feeling that nothing would ever be okay. She had cried constantly since they returned home from the cemetery and she didn't know how to stop it. She cried at dinner and when she watched TV and in the shower and when she tried to go to sleep. She had cried in Target yesterday when her mother took her school shopping and she spotted a bottle of her aunt's favorite perfume on sale. Her mother had tried to comfort her, but Chloe wasn't hearing her and Eric had to pull her out of the store and take her to the car where he held her until she calmed down. _

_This morning her mother forced her to go to church and as the choir sang I'll Fly Away, Chloe felt the breath catch in her chest and the words on the hymnal resting in her lap become blurry. Everyone around her had their eyes trained on her, but Chloe didn't care as she clung to her mother's suit jacket and stained it with tears. They left the service early and Chloe went straight upstairs to bed once they got home, not wanting to talk to her mother or be comforted by Eric. She felt completely alone and nothing they could say or do would make it better. _

_She had been up in her room for five hours now and while she had managed to nap for an hour, the rest of the time had been spent looking at old pictures on her computer and crying. She had locked herself in and when her mother tried to talk to her a little while ago and couldn't get in, all hell had broken loose. They had argued fiercely through the door and Chloe couldn't stop herself when she spat out that she hated her mother and just wanted them to leave her alone and let her die. She hadn't been serious about her hate or wishes for herself, but they couldn't be unsaid and the sound of her mother's sobs at those words was haunting her. _

_She had been sitting on the edge of her bed and rocking back and forth for fifteen minutes now. Her head was pounding and her chest hurt from the never-ending sobs and she just wanted to curl up and sleep for the rest of her life. As she rolled onto her side and prayed for sleep to come, she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to control her breathing and combat the tears lingering in her chest. She was almost asleep when her cell phone started to ring and she pulled herself up with a groan as she snatched her ringing RAZR from her bedside table and sighed when she saw that it was her father calling. He was the last person on earth that she had wanted to speak to and she fought through the urge to throw the fragile device against her wall as she flipped the phone open and softly said "Hello?"_

_Her father breathed out a heavy sigh of relief on the other end and said "Chloe? What's going on down there? Your mom called me and said that you locked yourself in the bedroom and had said some scary stuff to her. She said that you wanted to die and that you hated her. I know you're hurting, kiddo, but you have to tell me if you're going to hurt yourself. Talk to me; tell me what you're feeling. I'm…I'm worried about you."_

_Chloe scoffed at his words and said "Oh, that's nice coming from you. I haven't heard from you in months and now you're calling here because you're worried about me. You don't even know what's going on with me because you __**haven't **__been here. Why couldn't you come to the funeral, dad? What was so important that you missed it?"_

_Anthony sighed on the other end and said "Chlo, I told you that I had a very important meeting in California and that I couldn't make it. I would have loved to have been there, but I was halfway across the country and I couldn't just skip out on a meeting that I've had planned for months. The investors that I met with had come in from Japan and I couldn't leave them hanging. I __**wanted **__to be there, Chloe. I loved her too."_

_His voice had sent her into another fit of crying and as she fought with her body to regain control, she felt unbelievably angry at his words. What if it had been her mother or even herself lying in that coffin when he had a meeting? Would he miss that too? She was angry at him and at her mother for forcing her out of the house and at Eric for being so overbearing and at her aunt for dying and she was ready to scream. She couldn't take anymore and as his words faded away, something snapped and she screamed out "That's bullshit, dad! If you loved her, you would have made the time to come here and see her. You would have seen how different she looked in that coffin and you would have that picture in your head every time you close your eyes. You loved her enough to name her as my godmother, but you couldn't see her put in the ground. You're a coward and selfish and I hate you too!"_

_Anthony was getting nervous on the other end and said "Chlo, please calm down sweetheart. You're scaring me and I can't be with you right now to make sure you're okay. I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there for the funeral and I know how hard it must have been to see her like that, but she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. You have to calm down and talk to your mom and Eric. They want to help you and listen to you, but you have to go to them. You can't keep this inside and you need to talk to someone. Talk to me, I'm here and I'm listening."_

_Chloe scoffed and said "Sure you are. You act like you care now, but that's only because mom's forcing you to. You haven't called me in months and I haven't seen you in two years, so I'm suddenly supposed to believe that you care about me? That's even more bullshit than what you said before and I'm getting really tired of hearing it. Please, just leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you anymore and you can tell mom to back off too. I'm done with all of this."_

_She broke down into heavy sobs as it all became too much and she could hear her father trying to comfort her on the other end, but she couldn't bear to speak anymore. She curled up into a ball and clutched her stuffed dog from the fair in her arms and hugged herself as she fought to gain composure. She stayed that way for a few minutes, listening to her father's voice and rocking back and forth as her heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds. _

_When she finally calmed enough to talk again, she pressed the phone closer to her ear and heard her father say "Chloe, are you okay? You're not crying anymore and I just need to hear your voice. I love you so much and I just want you to be okay. Are you there?"_

_Chloe breathed a shuddering breath as her lungs ached from crying and softly said "Yeah, I'm here. Dad, why did she have to die? She was a good person and was young and she never hurt anyone. Why did it have to be her?"_

_Her father breathed heavily into her ear and she was shocked to hear the tears in his own voice as he said "I don't know, bug. I don't know why these things happen and they suck. I loved her too, everyone did, and I know that it's hard right now to know that she's gone, but you will see her again someday. I believe in that with all of my heart and that's the only thing I can say to you that will hopefully make you feel a little better. Nothing will bring her back and nothing will stop you from remembering and missing her, but it will get better. I promise you Chloe, one day your heart won't hurt so badly and the tears won't come and it'll be okay. In time, you __**will**__ be okay."_

* * *

It had felt like an out of body experience when Beca guided her to her feet and sat her down on a bench, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her occasionally as she whispered soft encouragements to her. They had sat like that for ten minutes until Aubrey came down to investigate and the look of sympathy that she gave Chloe almost set her off again. She didn't want to see that, especially from her best friend, and she suddenly just wanted to be alone.

As she looked away from Aubrey, she softly said "Bree, take Beca shopping for some clothes. She's going to need some dress clothes and none of our stuff will fit."

Beca gasped at her words and knew just what Chloe meant by that. She needed to get something to wear for a funeral and as tears flooded her eyes, she stood up and stared into Aubrey's eyes as she tried to get some answers. Why was Chloe pushing them away? Why did they have to leave now?

Aubrey didn't have any and put her arm around the timid girl's back and said "We'll go now then. We'll be back in a little bit Chloe, but call us if you need anything. Come on Beca, I think there's a dress shop a couple of streets away that shouldn't be too expensive."

Once they walked away, Chloe pulled out her cell phone and called the one person that she thought could give her some guidance. The medical school had appointed each student a mentor during their first year and she had grown really close to Dr. Pinze over their semester together. She had visited Chloe when she was in the hospital and kept her caught up in her classes and was just someone that Chloe really respected and looked up to. She could help Chloe sort out the medical details of this whole thing and maybe just make things a little less scary.

When her professor picked up a moment later, Chloe took a deep breath and said "Dr. Pinze? This is Chloe Beale. I know it's spring break and that you're probably not even at school right now, but could I talk to you about something?"

Dr. Pinze sighed softly on the other end and said "Of course, Chloe. I gave you this number for a reason and I'm here anytime. What's going on? You sound a little upset."

Chloe could feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and said "It's my dad. He had a bad heart attack and he's brain-dead. I'm in New York and they want me to make a decision about what to do. I don't know what to do, Dr. Pinze. I know that he's never going to wake up or be the same if I keep him alive, but I can't imagine killing him. That's what I'd be doing, right?"

Dr. Pinze sunk onto a couch in her living room and said "I'm so sorry, Chloe. This is rough news and I know that you must be really hurting right now. I can't tell you the right thing to do, but I can give you a little guidance. You know what the humane thing to do is and even if it hurts, it's the best thing for him. On the other hand, he's your father and no one wants to lose a parent. Taking him off the machines will kill him, but that doesn't make you a murderer. You can't think that Chloe because it's going to cloud your judgment and prevent you from thinking this through. You just have to think about that oath that you have to take in a few years when you become a doctor. That oath makes us promise to do no harm and to do what's in the best interest of our patients. He's your father, but you have to look at him as a patient now and make your decision with that in mind."

Chloe was crying now and whimpered as she said "It's just so hard. He's never going to talk or be able to take care of himself if he's left on those machines. It's selfish, but I can't uproot my life and my education to come up here and watch him slowly die. I can't put my grandparents through that either, but I don't want him to die."

Dr. Pinze felt herself become a little teary and said "I know, Chloe. You just need to follow your head and your heart and do what you think is right. I have to get going since my son is calling for me, but I'm thinking about you and I'll be praying for you too. I'll let your other professors know what's going on and you can take all the time that you need. We'll all be thinking about you and if you need **anything** at all, please call me. Okay?"

Chloe wiped her face off and sniffled as she said "Okay. Thank you, doc. I know what to do now."

She hung up the phone and allowed herself to cry for a few moments before composing herself and getting up from the bench. As she walked back up to the hospital, she held her head high and blinked back the lingering tears as she came to terms with her decision.

She knew what she had to do.

* * *

_Chloe is eighteen the last time that she lets her father disappoint her. She was staying with him for the weekend at his apartment in Atlanta, driving up from Tampa on Saturday and spending the night at his place before he would help her move into Barden in the morning. Her mother had suggested it because he hadn't been able to attend her graduation and since it was so rare that he was actually at his home and not up in New York for business, she gladly took him up on his offer. _

_She should have known that it would be too good to be true and as she finished sliding pancakes and bacon onto a platter that Sunday morning, her heart sunk when he walked into the room in a suit and tie. His face looked solemn and he tried to avoid eye contact as he sunk onto a seat at the table and flipped through the morning paper. He wasn't saying anything to her and as she placed the food onto the table and sat across from him, she knew what he was about to say. _

_Anthony put a pancake onto his plate and softly said "Chlo, I'm sorry but I can't take you today. I have a pretty important conference call that I have to sit in on and I have to fly back to New York for it. It's with our west coast distributor and we need to make this deal so we don't get behind on our shipping. Christmas isn't that far away and it's important that we make this deal so the stores out there have our stuff in them in time for Black Friday and the holidays. Do you understand?"_

_Chloe stared down at her empty plate, her hunger having disappeared at his words, and said "Yeah dad, I get it. The company pays for my school and my car and all of this, so it's more important. I really don't care about the business stuff and you don't have to explain it to me. I'm going to go to my room and finish packing up. Maybe my roommate can help me move in or something. I think her name is Aubrey and she'll probably hate me for asking her, but what can I do? Have a good trip, dad."_

_She got up from the table and briskly walked off to her bedroom, which was really the guest bedroom, as tears threatened to slide from her eyes. She slid the door shut behind her and wiped her eyes before taking a few calming breaths and starting to get her stuff together. She wouldn't cry for him anymore and as she picked her duffle bag full of clothing up and opened the door to put it in the hallway, she wasn't surprised when she saw that he had already left. _

_He had disappointed her for the last time and she was done. She was tired of feeling this pain in her heart each time that he screwed up and it was time to let go and grow up. She wasn't a little girl anymore and she was starting a new life in a new town and she didn't need him. She was facing this alone and maybe there was no better way to start over. She was scared and nervous about school, but maybe her roommate would be nice and maybe it wouldn't feel terrible to walk into that room alone and maybe she would find the family and love that she deserved at this place. Maybe._

* * *

Aubrey and Beca were walking back to the hotel in silence, Beca swinging her bag back and forth with each step and Aubrey sighing as the noise annoyed her. She could tell that the girl was nervous and upset and didn't want to go back to the hospital, but they had to because Chloe needed them. She may have pushed them away, but deep down she needed them there and Aubrey wasn't about to abandon her.

After a minute more of walking, Aubrey put her hand over Beca's and said "Stop swinging that. It's going to fall out of that bag and in case you haven't noticed, New York is **dirty**. What's up, Beca? You haven't said a word since we picked out that dress and honestly, it's creeping me out a little. What are you thinking about?"

Beca stopped swinging the shopping bag and sighed before she said "I don't know. I guess I'm just thinking about...her. I'm scared for her and what's going to happen once he dies. She's trying to act like it doesn't bother her, but I know that it does."

Aubrey nodded and said "I know. I'm just tired of all of this bad stuff happening to us. Your accident and her rehab and now this. I just want it all to be over. I'm tired of being sad."

As they continued walking, Beca squeezed Aubrey's hand that was still resting on hers and softly said "Bree, what's it like in there? What does her dad look like?"

Aubrey pulled them over to a bench and as they sat down, she said "It's bad, Bec. I know you saw him when he visited you in the hospital, but he doesn't look the same. He's really swollen and his skin is almost translucent and he just looks really sick. I know you haven't been in there yet and Chloe hasn't asked you to come in, but it would really mean a lot to her if you did. She's not going to force you into doing something that you're not comfortable with, but you love her and you're in a relationship with her and she needs you right now. At least for a few minutes, you know?"

Beca nodded and said "Yeah, I know. It's just really hard and I...I'm not good at this kind of stuff. I'm scared of seeing him in that bed and seeing how sad Chloe looks. I…I don't think I'm strong enough for her."

Aubrey smiled wanly at how young the girl sounded and said "It's okay to be afraid. I was too when I first went in there and I'll go with you if you want. Chloe understands that this is new for you and you're strong and everything that she needs. Let's just go back and be with her and I'll look out for you. If it's too rough or you can't take it, I'll take you out and it'll be okay. Let's go, Bec."

The pair walked back to the hospital and when they went up to the cardiac floor, they were met by Chloe's mother in the waiting room. She smiled sadly at the girls and said "Chloe's signing papers right now. She's agreeing to be the power of attorney and once she's done with that, we're going to go back and they're going to remove him from the breathing machine. She made her decision and we're going to let him go."

Aubrey gasped lightly at the news and Beca placed her bag on a chair and pulled her in for a hug, holding her tightly as the blonde tried to process everything. It was really happening. He was going to die and Chloe wasn't going to have a dad anymore and it was going to be real now. Aubrey rubbed Beca's back as they held each other and softly said "What are we going to do? We're going to lose her, I know it."

Beca didn't say a word as her eyes filled with tears and she just held Aubrey as it all sunk in. She prayed that the blonde was wrong but she knew Chloe's past with her father and knew that a decision like this would break her heart. There was no way that she would make it out of this without deep emotional scars and it scared Beca.

Chloe came out into the waiting room a few minutes later and looked pale and drained. She had bags under her eyes and her cheeks were red from crying and Beca just wanted to hold her. Chloe managed a small smile as she walked up to her friends and looked down at her sneakers as she said "It can take hours or even a day until he goes. Could you guys stay with me? I can't go back to the hotel and I don't want to be alone."

Beca surprised herself when she stepped forward and pulled Chloe in for a hug. She held her tightly for a few moments and let the taller girl melt into her body before pulling away and kissing her cheek. Chloe bit her lip as she stared at the floor, struggling with her emotions, and Beca said "We'll stay with you for as long as it takes. Let's go back and sit with him."

She linked her hand with Chloe's and smiled sadly at Aubrey as they walked back to the room where Tony was being held. Aubrey trailed behind them and wiped her tears away as she saw Beca gripping Chloe's hand and not letting it go as they walked behind a curtain and into a nightmare. The girl looked terrified as they stood next to his unconscious body, but she never let go and instead whispered encouragements to Chloe and tried to calm her down.

She didn't run away or shut down or pull back. She was there for Chloe and she had grown so much in the brief time that had passed since her conversation with Aubrey outside. Aubrey felt fiercely proud of her and joined them at Tony's side, taking Chloe's free hand in hers and holding it tightly as they waited for the inevitable to happen.

* * *

_Chloe was twenty two when she came face to face with death. The doctors had almost exhausted all of their options as they tried to revive her and all she could remember from that night was Jesse screaming and the alarms blaring as she slipped away. When she came to, she was in a bright room with a nurse looking down at her and telling her softly that she was okay. That they had gotten her heart started again and fixed all the problems and that she would live. She was too tired to listen to any more as she slipped back to sleep, but she was happy and calm and knew that someone was watching out for her that night. _

_The next thing she knew, it was much later in the evening and she was in a darker and quieter room. She was too exhausted to open her eyes, but she could hear machines running behind her and a pain coming from her hand where an IV had been shoved into vein. Everything was a little cloudy and all of her pain reappeared suddenly as she came back to the land of the living. She didn't open her eyes though and calmed when she felt a warm hand gripping hers. It was holding her hand tightly and she squeezed back, letting the person know that she was there and felt them and appreciated their presence._

_She was surprised when she heard the person start to speak and even more surprised when it was her father's voice that she heard. It was emotional and teary. Quiet and weak as he stroked her face and kissed the bandage covering her forehead. It was far different than his booming voice from her childhood and she knew that she had scared him that night._

_He pushed her red waves off of her face as she weakly gripped his hand and as tears filled his eyes, he softly said "I'm here, bug. I'm not leaving you and I love you so much. You scared the hell out of me tonight and I think I aged about ten years when I got that phone call. That boy, I think his name was Jesse, is one heck of a talker. He convinced me to come down here and thank God that I did. I'm so sorry, Chlo. I've been the worst father to you and I…I almost lost you tonight…"_

_He broke off as the tears escaped from his eyes and he sniffled as he wiped them away and tried to calm himself down. Chloe could hear him breathing heavily as he forced the tears away and opened her eyes a little, ignoring the strike of pain that went through her head at the sudden burst of light. She managed a small smile as he looked down at her with a quivering lip and softly said "Daddy, don't cry. I'm okay and I'm glad you came."_

_He smiled back at her and said "Sleep, lady bug. You need to save your strength and get some rest so you can heal. I'm so proud of you Chlo and you're going to fight through this and it's all going to be okay. Get some sleep, kiddo. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up. I promise."_

_Chloe smiled once more as she slid her eyes shut and as she slipped away, she swore that she heard him start to cry again. He wasn't there when she woke up or in the painful days after as the depth of her injuries became known, but he loved her and for the first time Chloe knew that he felt just as bad about his absence in her life as she did. Nothing really changed in their relationship, but it meant the world to know that he loved her and maybe if they had to do things differently, it would all be okay. _

* * *

Three hours had passed since Tony was removed from the breathing machine and somehow he was still holding on. The staff of the hospital had been great and had brought in a small couch for the girls to sleep on and gave Chloe coffee as she desperately tried to stay awake. The other girls weren't as strong and Aubrey had passed out on the couch with her head in Beca's lap as she slept too. Chloe didn't mind that they were asleep and actually found it a little comforting to just have them there without needing to force a strained conversation.

Her mother was in the room too and was asleep on a chair on the other side of her father. She knew that it was hard for her mother to be here for this and it meant so much that she forgot about all of the bad times that she had with ex in favor of being with her daughter. Her grandparents had gone back to the hotel after hearing the news and Chloe didn't blame them. They were emotionally drained from the events of the past two days and they couldn't watch their youngest child die. Chloe didn't feel alone though and as she looked over at Beca's sleeping form; she couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she looked when she slept. They had come the whole way from Georgia to be with her and to watch a stranger die and she was so thankful for them.

Chloe could hear her father's breaths become more labored as time slipped away and held his hand a little tighter as she gazed up at the monitors. His pulse was gradually becoming slower and slower and she knew that it was only a matter of time until it stopped. She couldn't stand the silence of the room any longer and softly said "It feels so weird to talk to you when you're like this. I know that you're my father and this is your body, but I **know **that you're not you anymore. That part of you that laughed at stupid jokes and wore goofy sunglasses and lifted me on your shoulders is gone and I feel like an idiot for talking to you like you can hear me, but I feel like I should at least say something to you. God, what am I going to do? You're my dad and you're supposed to walk me down the aisle and see your grandchildren and see me become a doctor. You're going to miss all of that and I'm…I can't breathe when I think about that."

She broke down into sobs as the dam broke in her chest and held his hand to her mouth, kissing the top of it as she cried so hard that her body shook. Once she calmed down a little, she let go of his hand and said "For so long, I've been so angry with you. You weren't in my life and you missed out on everything once you walked out of my bedroom with that suitcase. I hated you and I didn't understand why you couldn't just love me and come home. I missed you for years until I stopped one day and let my anger take over. I never got to tell you how much you hurt me and how terrible I would feel when my friends would talk about their dads and I couldn't say anything. You hurt me so much over the years and now…I can't let you go feeling that way. So, I'm forgiving you for all of that. I know that you didn't know how to be a father and that you were just trying your best to provide for me and give me the future that you thought I'd want. I never wanted a free ride at school or a fancy car or a nice apartment. All I wanted was you and I would…I'd trade all of that in for just one more conversation with you. I love you, dad. I always have and I always will."

She couldn't continue any longer and felt at peace with herself and with her father for the first time in years. She held his hand a little tighter and watched his chest rise and fall and just waited.

The moment came ten minutes later as his chest stilled and one long breath left his mouth before the heart monitor started to beep angrily behind her. The doctor came in soon after and shut the machine off and squeezed Chloe's shoulder when he softly said "Time of death, 8:09 p.m."

Chloe felt like she was going to be sick as the doctor slipped out of the room and when she turned away from his body, she saw Beca staring back at her with big, terrified eyes. Chloe didn't cry as she stared back at Beca and whispered "He's gone."

Beca felt her heart stop in her chest and as she stared at Chloe's blank face and her eyes that had lost her luster, she didn't recognize who she was looking at. Something had happened to Chloe when her father slipped away and Beca became frightened as reality kicked in.

Aubrey had been right. She had lost Chloe tonight and she had no idea how to get her back.

* * *

**The End**


End file.
